I tilted my head back. “I can come up. You don’t need to be driving back and forth for me.”
“You need to settle, babe.”
He was right. I did. I so did. I’d been unsettled for so long, I didn’t remember settled.
And he was such a good guy.
I leaned into him. “Thanks.”
His head dipped, his mouth hit mine and I felt his lips open. Stupid me, stupid, stupid me, I opened my own, his tongue slid in and my tongue moved to touch tips.
Nice. Way nice.
He tasted really good.
His lips released mine and lifted up to kiss my nose.
Then he looked in my eyes and said gently, “Anything for you, Gwen.”
Such a good guy.
I shoved my face in his neck and held on tighter. He let me do this until his arms gave me a squeeze. I understood what that meant, let him go and stepped back.
“Later, babe,” he murmured.
“Later, Tack,” I replied, he turned and walked out of my house.
* * * * *
A couple hours later Tack delivered my computer and hooked it up. He also brought my suitcases. Then he left probably because he had a life and I had a decision to make and although my life revolved around me, that didn’t mean everyone else’s did.
I unpacked and started laundry. Then I made a grocery list. Then I texted Meredith, Cam and Tracy and told them I was back home but I needed the night to get settled. Cam texted back that it was cosmos at her house the next night, no excuses, no lip. I returned the text saying I’d be there. I wasn’t certain I was ready but I had to live my life and I might as well start now.
I was heading back upstairs from the kitchen when I heard the chime and clunk of the doorbell.
I froze as unexpected pain sliced through me.
The last time I heard the chime and clunk of the doorbell, Hawk was coming over and taking me to dinner. Dad had called out to me to tell Hawk not to worry about the doorbell. Then Hawk had given me shoes. After that, hope had budded.
I sucked in breath to control the pain and stared at the door knowing one thing was for certain, it wasn’t Hawk.
Cam, Tracy and Meredith would give me space. Dad and Troy would not. Dad could get impatient and he was protective and after all that went down, and the obvious fact I was no longer with Hawk, he would be concerned and not happy to be kept out of the loop. Troy had been a fixture in my life and being thus, I was one in his. With Hawk out of the picture, he’d make his approach.
I wasn’t ready for either of these.
I still went to the door because, even if I wasn’t ready, I loved them both and I couldn’t leave them hanging. It wasn’t nice.
When I looked through the side window I stared at who was there.
Okay, I wasn’t ready for Dad and Troy but I really wasn’t ready for a surprise visit from Maria Delgado.
She moved, caught sight of me at the window and focused on me.
I jerked away from the window.
Shit!
The doorbell chimed and clunked again.
Shit. Shit. Shit!
Well, she saw me. I couldn’t ignore her.
Shit.
I opened the door. “Hey, Maria.”
She stared up at me. Then without a word, she pushed through and into my house.
I stared out at my yard and prayed for strength. I endured and survived Hawk ending things. It tore me to shreds inside but I did it. I could endure this too.
I closed the door and turned. “This is a surprise,” I noted, forcing a smile.
Her eyes narrowed on me then she demanded to know, “What gives?”
“What…” I paused for no reason then went on, “gives?”
“Yeah,” she replied. “A week ago, you were dazzled by my son. A week ago, me and my boys show at his place first thing in the mornin’ and you’re in his bathroom. A week ago, you played hide and seek with his nephews. A week ago, you turned to him when you got your heart broken by your Mama. Now, Elvira tells me, you’re done. What,” she leaned forward, “gives?”
Elvira. Great.
“Maria,” I said softly. “He ended things with me.”
“So?” she asked instantly and I stared.
“So?” I repeated stupidly.
“Yeah,” she threw out her arms, “so?”
“Um… when Hawk’s done, he’s done.”
She crossed her arms on her chest. “His name is Cabe, Gwen.”
Something about that and the way she said it made me still.
Then I shook my head. “No, Maria, he told me that man is gone. He’s Hawk now.”
She shook her head back at me. “No, Gwen, that man was gone. But I walked into his place with my boys and saw for the first time in eight years my boy Cabe was back.”
Oh God.
“Maria –”
She took a step toward me, lifted her finger and jabbed it at me. “You listen to me. You’re not a mother but I’ll tell you, when your child experiences pain, you experience it right along with him. My son has been in pain for eight years. Not a little pain, the kind you learn to get used to, a lot of pain, the kind that brings you to your knees. Eight years. Eight years I watched him endure that and me, Gus and my boys endured it right along with him. And the first time in eight years I saw him healed and whole was that morning with you.”
Oh God.
I couldn’t listen to this and I couldn’t listen to this because she was way, way wrong.
“He’s not done enduring that pain, Maria,” I explained quietly.
“No, and he won’t ever be,” she agreed. “And you obviously don’t know it but you took on the job of making him see that when he lost Simone and Sophie, he didn’t lose himself. He could feel their loss and still manage to heal. You take on a job like that, you don’t throw it away.”
“He threw it away,” I told her because he did!
She shook her head. “I see you don’t understand how important you are to him.”
“If someone’s important, Maria, I’m sorry, really, really sorry to say this but you don’t treat them the way your son treated me. There’s more to what happened that you don’t get and I can understand you’d stand behind your son and I’m all right with that but you don’t know all that happened.”
“You’re right, I don’t know what happened but something else a mother wants for her child is for him to be happy. And you clearly don’t realize this but you gave him a promise to make him happy and when you gave it to him, you gave it to me.”
“You don’t understand,” I whispered, she shook her head, hitched her purse up on her shoulder and marched to the door.