“Zara—” he called, his deep voice guttural.
I didn’t reply.
I wrapped my hand around his c**k again, guided him to me, and, with a rough, desperate downward plunge, I impaled myself on him.
His groan shook the room, his h*ps thrust up, and his hands went to my hips. My hands went to me, one finger to my clit, one hand to my breast, fingers closing around my nipple as, head back, mindless, I rode him and I did it hard.
“Babe—” he called again but I didn’t respond because I was there.
Crying out, moving with abandon, I came, the fire of it exploding between my legs and shooting through me, splitting me open, ripping me wide, and I loved every second.
Vaguely, I felt Ham’s arms come around me and I was on my back, Ham driving rough and deep. With one of his arms under me, hand curled around the back of my neck to hold me stationary, I took his beautifully brutal thrusts as I came down and he took himself there.
I knew when he made it because his fingers at my neck drove into my hair, fisted, holding my head steady and he slammed his mouth down on mine as he thrust his c**k to the root and groaned down my throat.
I held him tight, my arms around him, my legs bent, feet in the bed, thighs pressed to his hips, and I traced his lower lip with my tongue, thinking Nina was right.
Rolling the dice was a good thing to do.
I barely finished this thought when Ham unexpectedly pulled out and rolled off, settling on his back.
I blinked into the dark in surprised confusion.
Something about this was not right. Ham was affectionate, especially in bed. He never pulled out until he had no choice. He caressed, cuddled, nuzzled, nipped, licked, kissed, whispered.
He’d never pulled out and rolled away.
I shifted to my side, preparing to lift up on a forearm and reach out to him but I froze solid when he spoke.
“Got a taste for your f**k toy, babe, at least let me roll on a goddamned condom before you use me to find it.”
Oh shit, part one. We didn’t use protection.
This wasn’t exactly bad. I was on The Pill but Ham always used protection.
And oh shit, part everything. He thought I’d used him as a f**k toy?
“Ham?” I called, beginning to reach out but he rolled off the bed and started through the shadows to the bathroom.
He did this speaking.
“That was f**kin’ awesome. Mood strikes you, you know where I am.” He stopped at the bathroom door and turned to me. “But I sleep alone, baby, and we’re done tonight so do me a favor and find your bed.”
After delivering that, the bathroom door closed behind him.
Evidence was suggesting that maybe I shouldn’t have rolled the dice.
My body was hot everywhere and not in good ways. I was scared, worried, and I had no clue what to do. I had no clue why Ham reacted like that.
I just knew, when he got out of the bathroom, he didn’t want me in his bed.
So I jumped out of it, snatched up my panties, found my nightgown, ran na**d to my own room, and closed the door.
* * *
For the next two days I avoided Ham as best I could, seeing as we lived and worked together.
During the days, this was easy. I got the hell out of the condo and stayed out until I went to work.
At work, Ham helped. He seemed just as happy to avoid me as I did him and, luckily, Jake was working so Ham stayed distant any time I approached the bar and I used Jake.
Driving to The Dog myself and Ham being the manager and not picking up any blondes, he stayed later. When he was my ride, I usually hung out while he dealt with shit. Now, I used it as a way to get home and behind my bedroom door before he got home.
It was the second night, lying in bed, hearing him come home and close the door to his room, that I understood what had happened with Ham.
Greg and I, in the beginning, had a good sex life. It wasn’t as good as Ham but then, unfortunately for Greg and bitchily for me, nothing about Greg was.
After we were married, when I was losing myself and the distance was forming between us, the sex went bad. We had it but we had it in a way where we had it only, it seemed, because we were supposed to.
Greg got off entirely, my guess, due to biology.
I never did.
So with that and with the fact I hadn’t had a man in some time, I lost myself in what I was doing, what was happening, and the fact it was Ham.
And he would know I lost myself.
I’d never done that with him. I could lose myself in sex with him but it was always with him. I never rode him like that. Usually, when I was on top, I was bent to him, touching him, kissing him, nuzzling him. Or he was sitting up, doing all that to me.
The other night, I didn’t use him to get off. I knew who I was riding.
But I could see how he didn’t think the same.
I could also see how that could piss him off.
I’d walked to his room in the dead of night, scared him, came onto him, and rode him to cl**ax without even discussing protection and stupidly not using it.
It was a shit thing to do.
I’d f**ked up and I needed to do what he did when he was out of line.
I needed to apologize so we could get past it.
I also needed to do it soon. We lived together. We worked together. If there were different-sized elephants in rooms, ours was one of the biggest. If I didn’t sort this out, we’d both be smushed.
“No time like the present,” I muttered, throwing back the covers and, with determination, walking to his room.
He wouldn’t be asleep. He’d just gotten home.
Though there was no light coming from under his door and no answer when I lightly knocked.
I sucked in a breath, opened the door to dark, and stuck my head in.
“Ham?”
“What?”
Damn. That wasn’t inviting.
I considered backtracking, telling him we’d talk later or just saying, “Nothing,” and getting the hell out of there.
I didn’t do that.
I slowly walked in and went to the side of his bed where I could see the shadow of his body.
I stopped close and started to speak.
“I know it’s late but we… eeeek!”
The “eek” came when Ham’s hand darted out, latched onto my wrist, and yanked me off my feet so I fell on him then he rolled us both so he was on top and I was pinned under him.
Then he kissed me.
Not thinking, not for an instant, I kissed him back.
We didn’t do this very long but we did it very well. So well I was completely lost in him when he broke the kiss and growled, “Tonight you get my mouth. Nightgown off, cookie.”
If there was a world record for getting a nightgown off, I was sure I beat it as I yanked mine up and over my head.