“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Tommy hissed, then glanced to the side. His grip went slack. “Shit. Play it cool. I’m not going to jail, even for the pleasure of kicking your ass.”
Jeremy followed Tommy’s gaze. A trio of security guards forged through the crowd, hands hovering at their hips and a little too close to their Tasers. Jeremy had been tased once during a demonstration exercise in basic training. He had no desire to experience the 31 Flavors of electroshock pain a second time.
He pulled free of Tommy’s grip with a frown. “Let’s finish this somewhere else. My room. Come on.”
Together, they tried to skirt the security guards, but the men blocked their path. “Everything okay here?”
Jeremy tried his best drunken grin. “It’s all good. We’re old friends.”
Tommy nodded, but didn’t speak. His jaw was clenched tight, his arms tense. The guards looked less than convinced, but they let Jeremy and Tommy pass. They threaded through the packed casino and into the lobby. Jeremy led Tommy to his room without speaking. Anything they had to say to each other wouldn’t be pretty. Privacy was best.
Once inside, Jeremy closed the door and leaned against it. “Tell me what the hell you’re talking about. Now.”
Tommy eyed him. “You really don’t know about her scars?”
“I don’t know what the f**k you’re talking about.” Jeremy ground his teeth. “What scars?”
“You’d know if you’d actually slept with her. So where did the bruises come from, really?”
Jeremy sighed and moved deeper into the room to sink down on the couch. Either he was getting old, or just worn the f**k out, but he was too tired for this conversation. “It’s not your damned business, is it? I’m pretty sure you swore off our friendship the night you accused me of screwing your wife.”
Tommy blanched. “Look, I know I was wrong. I should have known then, too.”
“Yeah. You should have.” Jeremy fingered his dog tags and stared out the window. “You, of all people, should have known I wouldn’t do that. Everyone else, I expect it. I know they’ll automatically jump to the worst conclusion. But you?”
“I know.” Tommy sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
“But you just did it again.”
“You can’t blame that one on me. You practically told me you jungle-fucked my sister. That one’s on you.” Tommy tried a smile, weary and humorless. “Look, I knew better. I knew you wouldn’t sleep with Nicole. I knew you loved Erica, but I fell for the lies anyway. Nicole practically had me in a noose. When it comes to love, the brain stops functioning. I’m sorry.”
Jeremy closed his eyes and dragged his hand down his face. He was too tempted to tell Tommy to take his apologies and go to hell, but unfortunately he understood him all too well. Love made people act like idiots. Just like how he constantly threw himself at Erica, even though he knew she didn’t want him.
His mind knew he was wasting his time, but his heart refused to listen.
“I know you’re sorry,” Jeremy said. “And I’ll try to accept that, but it’s not easy. That night ruined so much for me. So much for us. And Erica…”
“I know. You loved her. I think she loved you, too. She cried every day for a month after you left. After you never came back.” Tommy’s fingers curled into fists. “After I chased you away.”
Jeremy blinked. “She did? Why? She didn’t love me. I told her…” He balked. It was hard to be honest with Tommy, after so many years—and so many unanswered questions. What had he meant about Erica’s scars? Was that why she’d pushed him away? “…I told her I loved her, and she ran away.”
“She might have run away,” Tommy said, “but she regretted it. But how the hell did you end up with her last night?”
Jeremy groaned and rubbed his temples. “It all started yesterday…”
Chapter Five
Erica stood in front of the mirror and tried to accept that the thing staring back at her was really her. This was her reality, now. She wasn’t ugly, she told herself. She shouldn’t hate herself. It wasn’t her fault.
One night, one careless truck driver, and her whole life had changed forever. She hated what she saw. So did every man she’d been with since then. It had started with Nathan. She hadn’t been surprised when he’d left. Hell, she’d been ready to call it off before the accident. She could only take so much perfection before she wanted to hurt him just to see some real human emotion.
But he’d only reaffirmed what she’d feared when she’d woken up in her hospital bed, bandaged and hurting everywhere. No one could see past the scars on her stomach and back. No one could ever want her again, without pity motivating them. She’d spend her life alone. She’d been all right with that. Accepting, even.
Until Jeremy came back.
He’d dared to make her want more. Dared to make her want him. But if he saw her, the real her, what would he do? Run away? Make excuses? No. She couldn’t bear to be rejected by the one man she’d loved since childhood. She was better off alone. Safer.
But she didn’t feel better.
A knock echoed up from the first floor. She dropped her shirt and smoothed it back into place. Who the hell was at her door at nine in the evening? Tommy, probably. She dashed down the stairs, cracked the door open, and peeked through, squinting into the darkness. The damned porch light was out again, and she wasn’t taking the chain off the door until she was sure it was Tommy and not some escaped convict out for revenge.
Worse. It was Jeremy, standing on her doorstep with flowers in hand, Tommy’s clothes precisely folded in the other.
He even folded shirts better than she did. She wanted to just slap an apron on him and keep him.
He offered the bouquet. “Can I come in?”
Erica bit back a groan. “Why? I think we said everything already.”
“No, we didn’t.” His eyes captured her and refused to let go. “We need to talk.”
Her heartbeat quickened. She wished she could grab it and just squeeze it until it stopped being so stupid and gullible. Why did he want to talk to her? Anything they said would only hurt more when she sent him away again. What would it take for him to realize she wasn’t his, and never would be? Did she need to give his heart a good squeeze, too—squeeze it until it broke?