"It's really no trouble," I insisted. "Moira, can you call down to the cafe-"
"Logan."
I looked up from the panel, noting the slight shake of his head. "Cancel that, Moira. Thanks." My nostrils flared, the unspoken scolding almost as unpleasant as airing my dirty laundry.
"There's the stubborn little snot I met at Greenwood High," Roman commented softly. If I didn't know better, I'd say he sounded almost wistful.
"Jesus," I groaned, raking my hand through my hair with annoyance. "First all this talk about feelings, now we’re waxing lyrical about the past? Maybe we should swap friendship bracelets and braid each other's hair."
"I know you use humor to deflect, but it doesn't change the fact that you are not fine." Roman waited for me to answer, to give in. When I didn't say a word, he dug deeper. "There is no weakness in talking about your life, especially when your life has a direct impact on your work."
"Sounds like someone on the board has been bending your ear," I spat defensively.
"Not your board. Your secretary, Amanda. And I have two eyes. Suit or no suit, you're wearing this whole torrid affair all over your face. You always had a problem controlling your anger. Over a decade later, and it's still crippling you."
"That's where you're incorrect," I said coldly. "Back then, when someone wronged me, I didn't rest until they paid in bruises and blood."
"There may be no outward marks, but I can see the bruises and blood, Logan. They're all over you."
"What would you have me do?" I roared, the eruption spewing forth lava and vitriol. Melting away my facade of calm. "I let my dick do the thinking and this is the result: an ex lover who won't rest until I'm ruined."
"But there's someone else."
My heart pulsed with love. My c**k stirred with lust. That's what she did to me. It didn't matter if we were in the same room; the mere thought of her was enough to make me come undone.
Melissa.
"I know this probably sounds insane," I murmured. My words weren’t like before. Hitting the wall, writhing on the inside. Forced to stay in the darkness. These words were too right, too good to be hidden away. "I've never felt this way before. I've said I love you before, but it seems foolish now. This woman feels like forever to me. I can't picture a life that doesn't have her in it." I looked at my mentor, putting it all on the line for him to see. "She makes me want to be the best version of myself." The moment in the sun didn't last. It couldn't. Delilah and the baby crept back in. "She's the part of me that's saying I should let the anger go."
Roman cracked a smile that told me he knew exactly where I was coming from. I stopped holding onto the importance of keeping this mask on. Of checking my emotions at the door. Melissa was one of the very few people I let in. That I trusted enough to open up to. But if there was anyone else that had proven they could be counted on in the midst of this shit, it was Roman.
"You're in love.” His voice was a mixture of pride and concern. "But you have one foot in the past and one in the future." He let out a gruff sigh and I followed suit. I might be new at this love stuff, but I was catching on. I knew what he'd say next. The words my heart knew were true but my pride, my need for vengeance, couldn't accept.
"You can be bitter about the hand you were dealt with your ex, or you can accept it and move on."
He’d given his impartial advice. He'd never steered me wrong. But I felt like I was back on that ledge. Teetering with nothing but darkness to catch me.
"You don't know what she's done," I said vehemently. I took the easy route, slipping back into the familiar. I was the ferocious businessman who fought for everything he had. Everything that was falling apart, crumbling in my fingers, was because of a lie. All that was left was the kid I was before. The kid who felt unworthy of anything. All I had was the anger. "One lie, and she has ruined me. I can't let that stand."
"I know that's what it feels like. Your good name is all you have, right? Why you've worked so hard to build something."
"Damn right."
"But what about her?" Roman urged. “What about Melissa?”
"It's not that simple-"
"Logan, everything else is complicated. This mess with the actress. The restless, knee-jerk prone board. But deep down, you know what's right. You know what you should do if you want to be the man that deserves her. The man that I know you are."
His words knocked me out flat. He thought I was a good man.
Emotion wreaked havoc on me.
I rolled my shoulders back, silencing it. I’d be damned if I let him or anyone else see me cry.
We shared a solitary nod of certainty, our conversation tabled as the room slowly filled with other members of the board. I gritted my teeth and answered their questions, soothed their concerns, showed them that despite the Delilah scandal, our profits were holding steady. I told them everything was going to be okay.
But inside, I wasn't so sure.
If letting go was so right, so easy, then why did it feel like the hardest thing I'd ever done? Why was it impossible to suffocate this raging anger inside me?
The meeting concluded, each one of them shuffling out like a funeral procession. They were hoping this was their chance to oust me, to prove they'd been right about me from the start. Their deflated expressions brought me a special kind of joy.
What expression would be smeared across Delilah's face when she realized she'd finally crossed the wrong person? Would I finally be able to breathe? To be able to start over with Melissa?
I looked at Roman, and for the first time since we had known each other, I lied. "I know you're right. I can't change what's been done. I need to let it go."
I felt guilty as relief washed over him. It was like all these years he was teaching me this one lesson, and I'd finally passed the test.
I would let it go—right after I showed the world just who Delilah James really was.
Chapter Four
Melissa
Stacia: Let me know what he says about me stopping by. I'd like to meet the elusive billionaire. And see how the other half lives of course. ;)
The elevator raced to the top floor. I couldn't stop smiling. I didn't comprehend the true weight of keeping all this to myself. Logan was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Recounting all the ways I loved him and skimming over the delicious things he did to my body (despite Stacia's pouting) reminded me just how lucky I was to have found him. I almost wished that paparazzo had been waiting for me when Stacia and I finally emerged from Cafe de la Fleur. I had nothing to be ashamed of—and I wouldn't be bullied by him or anyone else. And if he didn't like it, he could take his camera and go straight to hell.