Because against all odds, she was still attracted to him.
And not in a pleasant, ‘oh, he’s cute’ sort of way but rather in a ‘holy hell, I would fuck him in the dirty stall of a club bathroom’ and Shannon couldn’t really deal with that truth.
There was no future with Nolan Buchanan. So why even go through the motions of getting to know him?
She sighed, closing her eyes, knowing the answer even if she wasn’t willing to admit it out loud.
Deep down…a tiny spark of hope pulsed stubbornly, refusing to die — what if?
What if, indeed?
-5-
If good intentions accounted for anything, Nolan was a damn angel. He’d planned to stay in the hotel and watch Pay-Per-View or even catch up on his reading on his e-reader app on his smart phone but the minute he saw his twin grinning from the peephole, he knew his night was not going to be spent inside that room.
“What are you doing here?” he asked Vince as he let him into the room. “I told you to stay home.”
“Yeah, but I heard the yearning in your voice that practically begged for me to come and rescue you so get dressed, slap some cologne across your face and let’s see what’s shaking in this town. There’s sure to be a couple of hot bodies available for a little between the sheets action and I, for one, could use a little stress-relief.”
“What happened to your plans with the sub and the dungeon?”
“Penny happened,” Vince said wryly. “She found out and gave me a ration of shit for trying to drag Dillon out for a bit. Man, that girl has a temper. Funny thing, I think Dillon was relieved because his woman put the brakes on. If I didn’t know better I’d say Penny has neutered him.”
“Dillon?” Nolan questioned but then he recalled the gooey looks their older brother often sent his pregnant wife and he knew Vince was right. “Well, he seems to enjoy his neutered state so more power to him.”
“Yeah, whatever. C’mon, I’m getting antsy. I need a drink and someone to fuck and not necessarily in that order.”
Nolan laughed, enjoying the familiar thrill of the chase with his brother. They were hellions together and he loved the debauched circles his brother traveled without hesitation.
“So how’s it going with the kid?” Vince asked as they walked downstairs to the lobby. Nolan grimaced, not wanting to talk about Aubrey or Shannon, not when he was about to do a whole lot of things Shannon would certainly use as fodder against him. “That bad?” Vince surmised, misreading Nolan’s expression. “I told you to walk, man. Now you’ve got a mess to clean up. Think we could offer her money to go away and keep quiet?”
“For the last time, I’m not bailing on my kid,” Nolan cut in, irritated. “I already told you that. And it’s not going badly, it’s just I don’t want to talk about it right now. Okay?”
“Okay, okay,” Vince said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “I was just curious.”
“Yeah, I know. We’re going to the park together on Saturday. I’ve asked her to give me a few weeks to get to know each other.”
“A few weeks? What do you mean? You’re going to hang out here for a few weeks? What about work?”
“I think you and Dillon can handle things on your end. You can always email me or call with any issues. But I need to get to know my daughter. I’ve already missed out on so much.” Vince shot him a curious look and he stared. “What?”
“If I didn’t know better I’d say you were serious about this parenting thing.”
“Well, I am…I guess.”
“You guess? Don’t you think that’s something you should be completely sure about before starting?”
“This is why I didn’t want to talk about this right now.”
“What about your baby mama? Is she cooperating or not?”
“Mostly not. She’s not thrilled about me being the dad.”
“Why the hell not?” Vince asked, insulted. “She’s damn lucky to have bagged a Buchanan.”
“She doesn’t exactly see it that way and I’m not sure how to change her mind on that score.”
"Screw this. What you need is a good time to get your mind off of all this crap with the kid. When we get to the club, just relax. You deserve a night off."
Nolan nodded, wondering if his brother was right. His whole body was tied up in knots that not even the massage had helped. Well, it might have helped if they'd sent a pretty massage therapist with an open mind but instead, he’d received a burly matron with definite German ancestry in her blood as she’d pummeled his back as if she were pounding bread. Frankly, he'd been a bit afraid of the burly frau and when it came time to tip, he tipped her well just so she’d go away.
The minute they stepped into the club, Nolan allowed the booming sounds and chaotic energy to seep into his bones. Vince immediately flagged the waitress and ordered two whiskeys to get the night started. Vince was already on the prowl, his practiced eye searching out something pretty, and just a little on the healthy side. Vince loved women with a little extra padding on them. Personally, Nolan didn't care. He loved women of all sizes and never discriminated. But at the moment, the only woman on his mind was the one woman he didn't want to think about. Vince accepted the whiskey and downed his in one quick gulp. Nolan did the same, grimacing at the taste. "Are you sure that was whiskey? That tasted like moonshine."
"Well, they didn't have our usual brand so I made do with what they had. Besides, we’re not here to judge their liquor cabinet. We're here to have a good time, remember? And even moonshine will get us there, if you know what I mean."
Yeah, he knew. For some reason, Nolan wasn't in the mood for the usual hunt. However, he was happy not to be sitting in his hotel room staring at the four walls. He was content to slog down awful whiskey and watch as Vince worked his magic on a fresh crop of ladies. Suddenly, he sensed a presence at his side and he turned and saw a short but stacked woman with a wide smile and sparkle in her eyes that was hard to miss. "By a girl a drink?" she asked, dazzling him with a smile.
"Sure, why not." He signaled for the bartender. "Whatever she wants," he told the man.
"Sex on the beach," she answered, shooting him a coy look. He chuckled at the suggestion in her eyes. Any other time, he would've pounced on that invitation but his libido was fairly dead at the moment. The girl accepted the drink from the bartender and took a sip before saying, "You have the look of a man who doesn't know what he wants."