I dab on some vanilla based perfume, because I read somewhere, once upon a time, that men love it. Supposedly, vanilla is supposed to be an aphrodisiac. And I know I’m paying Shade, but still. I’d like for him to be turned on, too.
And why am I worrying about this? The guy is in his twenties. I’m sure he doesn’t have problems in that area yet.
I am transferring stuff from my regular purse into a sleek, black evening purse when my phone buzzes. Shade.
Are you wearing it?
Shit.
I had been putting off inserting that sleek silver egg so much so that I had literally forgotten it. Hell.
I will be in a minute.
I put my phone down and hunt for the little white box that I had hidden in my bed-stand. I open it up and stare at the innocuous metallic toy.
It looks harmless.
So why does it terrify me?
Because deep down, I’m a prude, that’s why.
Yes, I have slept with a gigolo this week and used a vibrator, but those were first time occurrences after a lifetime of being a prude. Old habits die hard. But I am determined to change them. I’m the new and improved Allison, the one with no fear. The one whose young lover calls her Alli Cat. I’m invincible. Alli Cat the Invincible. Practically a super hero, really.
I smile at that and pick up the little egg, trotting off for the bathroom.
Thinking of me in that way, like Shade does with himself when he separates himself and Colby, makes it easier. During the day, I’m Allison. I’m responsible and hard-working and ambitious.
But at night, when I’m not at work, I’m Alli Cat. I’m fierce and daring and fun. And I have a freaking bald vagina. BB is fun, too.
Holy shit.
My fingers tremble as I slide the little silver bullet into BB.
I stand upright and assess the situation.
I can feel it in there, a slight weight leaning against my pelvic floor. But after a moment, I’m used to it and I can’t feel it anymore. It’s like a metallic tampon. My body absorbed the sensation and now it’s like it isn’t even there.
But I’m sure, as soon as Shade presses a button, it will announce its presence again loud and clear.
I gulp as I pick up my phone again.
Okay, I’m wearing it.
Shade’s answer is immediate.
Good. I can’t test it because I’m out of range. But I’ll be at Manini’s soon. Your mission tonight is to orgasm while at the table with your date—and to not let him know.
I gulp. Seriously?
But even as I am hesitant, a little thrill of excitement shoots through me, too. It feels so naughty. Because it is so naughty. And you know what that means? I truly am daring and fun. I’m no longer boring Allison who stayed married to a loser for too many years. I’m Alli Cat the Invincible now. And I’m freaking fun.
I grab my purse and head out the door.
Chapter Twelve
(Or: The Education of Alli Cat)
Manini’s is a great restaurant for a date, which is why I chose it.
It is dimly lit, romantic and quiet. The only downside is that they have great bread which is drizzled in garlic-butter. And that is a downside because I have to find the strength to not eat it since I’ll be kissing Shade later.
But I have amazing fortitude, I remind myself. I can do this.
I can also get through Brainy Brian’s oh-so-boring small talk.
Because I have fortitude.
“So, I recently joined a dating site,” he tells me as he chews on a piece of bread. I eye his half-eaten bread longingly. It doesn’t even matter to me that he’s been chewing on it with his fish-lips.
“Really?” I ask politely, picking up my glass of wine delicately by the stem and sipping it. In actuality, I’d like to slam it down on the side of the table and use the jagged shards to slit my wrist. But I paste on a smile to hide those suicidal thoughts. “How’s that going?”
“Oh, so far, so good,” Brian answers. “I haven’t gotten any replies to my ad yet, but I’m contacting a few women. I think I would recommend it to you…when you’re ready to start dating for real, that is.”
He smiles and I am reminded that he truly is a nice person. And I feel guilty for wanting to open a vein a moment ago.
“I don’t know when I’ll be ready for that, but I appreciate the tip,” I tell him.
I cross my legs and as I do, I feel a startling jolt, then a flood of intense pleasure as the egg situated inside of BB starts buzzing.
Holy shit.
I snap to attention in my seat, trying hard to act casual and nonchalant, even though the vibrations feel so freaking good. I gaze around the room for Shade.
I find him sitting in the shadows in a booth a short distance away. He’s staring at me, his blue, blue eyes intense as he watches me squirm.
He releases the button. I know this because the buzzing stops. My uterine muscles relax from where they were glued to my abdominal ceiling.
Shade smiles angelically at me. I take a deep breath and turn back around.
Brian is staring at me.
“Are you alright?” he asks in concern.
I smile.
“Of course. I’m fine. Just a little cramp in my leg.”
And by that, I mean a convulsion in my uterus.
We continue conversing with Brian’s idea of small-talk. He is thrilling me with the reasons why the General Ledger didn’t balance last month at work when Shade hits the button again.
I almost go through the roof this time, because my nerves are still on high-alert from the first time.
I inhale shakily and try to get a hold of myself as I grip the edges of the table so tightly that my knuckles turn white.
As the buzzing threatens to send me over the edge this time and I struggle to look normal, I waver between hating Shade and loving him. This is an excruciating pain/pleasure. And it’s exciting as hell because everyone around me is going on with dinner as usual because they have no idea that I’m on the verge of having an orgasm in my seat.
Shade releases the button and I release the edge of the table.
Oh my Lord.
I breathe out slowly.
I glance at Shade, with a tiny glare, and he smiles beatifically again.
Freaking punk.
As if he read my mind, Shade pushes the button again immediately.
And I arch against the table. My uterus is screaming as it threatens to contract me right into an orgasm. I’m practically panting as Brian continues to talk in his boring monotone.