“I can take care of him. My mother wanted that for him — for us. She wanted us to stay together. The cancer was sudden, unexpected, and we lost everything, absolutely everything, but I can take care of my brother, I swear. Please, just let us be together while we work to put the pieces back together.” Jewell hated that she had to beg.
The sad expression on the judge’s face told her before his words did that she wouldn’t be walking from the courtroom with Justin — not today, at least.
“This case will be adjourned for two months.” With that, Judge Malone hit his gavel and rose before the bailiff could say a word. However the judge didn’t leave the room immediately. He first turned toward Jewell with concern in his eyes. “I know you love Justin — I have no doubt of that,” he said, and he sighed. “Sometimes, the best thing we can do for someone we love so much is to let them go so they can have a better life than one we might be able to give them.”
He left Jewell shaking so badly that she was barely able to remain on her feet. But she looked resolutely into the sweet blue eyes of her brother and prayed she could keep her composure long enough to reassure him that they would indeed be together again. She went through agony each time she had to let him go.
“Jewell? Can we go back home now?”
Oh, how his innocent words ripped through her very soul.
“Ah, Bubby, soon. I have to do a few more things to prove to the judge that I can take care of you,” she replied, disappointment thick in her voice as she walked right up to him and bent down to be at eye level. The advocate let him go and he fell into her arms.
“But why can’t we go home? I miss you every day. Ms. Penny doesn’t read to me like you do, and she makes me eat peas. I hate peas. You promised we’d be back together.” His tears soaked through her thin suit jacket, and his small frame shook with each heartbroken sob.
“Oh, Justin, I promise that I will get you back. I’ll do anything and everything for us to be together again. I love you more than the moon and the stars. I love you more than any other person on this planet.”
“I love you too, Sissy. Please don’t make me go back to that house.”
“Ah, baby, it won’t be much longer, and I’ll come see you every single Saturday, okay? And then after eight Saturdays we won’t have to be apart anymore.”
“Eight Saturdays?” His eyes widened with hope.
Thank goodness he didn’t understand that meant two months.
“Yes, only eight more Saturdays. And after that last Saturday, I will pick you up and you’ll never have to go back to another strange house again.” She would keep this promise no matter what it took.
“You swear?”
She was heartbroken at his question. How could any boy be so distrustful at such a young age? Her brother should be playing with action figures and Legos, not worrying about where he would sleep each night, or whether he would be with a mean foster parent or a nice one, or if his sister loved him.
“I swear.” Or I’ll die trying, she added silently.
“I love you, Sissy,” he sobbed as the advocate shifted on her feet, letting them both know that their time was up.
“I love you, too, Justin.”
His sobs grew into screams as the advocate removed him from Jewell’s arms and pulled him from the courtroom. As soon as the doors shut, Jewell’s mask of strength came crashing down and she collapsed into the closest chair.
When the court security officer told her she had to leave the room, Jewell stood and walked zombie-like into the cold white marble hallways of the courthouse. After making her way slowly to the restroom, she splashed her face with water and didn’t even recognize the eyes of her reflection.
When her mother died, Jewell hadn’t had time to grieve, because from the day of the funeral she’d been fighting to get her brother back from the state and the people who had taken him away. She and her little brother had lost everything in the last few months of their mother’s life. But they couldn’t lose each other.
Once she left the courthouse, Jewell wandered the streets of Seattle until it turned dark, and she slumped against a dirty brick wall, too tired to go on even a single step farther. So much anguish filled her every single day. Her mother had been her best friend, her rescuer, her only person to lean on and love in a world full of people who didn’t care about her.
Closing her eyes, she thought of that phone call, her mother’s strong voice, for once, sounding defeated.
“I need you to come home and take care of Justin. I have cancer, and I only have two months left.”
The pain of those words still sat heavy in Jewell’s chest. Of course, she’d come home immediately, and she would never regret her decision. The bills had piled up, the money had run out, and she and Justin had lost it all. Their home. Their security. Their mother. And now, each other. She wanted to give up, and if she were the only one she had to think about, she was afraid that she would.
She just didn’t have the energy left inside her to go on. Wanting to stop feeling for at least a few hours, she waited and hoped for sleep to rescue her. For a few short hours she could dream, and with luck her dreams would be filled with images far more pleasant than the reality her life had now become.
How could dreams possibly be worse than what she was living through? They couldn’t.
Chapter Three
No birds were chirping when Jewell awoke. A light sprinkle of rain was drizzling down over her and washing some of the grime from her homeless body. She didn’t know if she was capable of even standing at this point, but it didn’t matter.
No. She was better than that. For one moment she’d given up; for only a second in time she’d decided it was all too much to endure. Now that moment was over. She had two months. As much as she wanted to break down and cry, as much as she wanted to curse the powers above for taking her mother, for interrupting her own life, and for ruining her, she knew she couldn’t.
If she gave up, Justin would have no one fighting for him. And her mother’s final words had been another plea for Jewell to take care of her little brother. Her mother had closed her eyes for the last time after Jewell had promised never to allow their family to break apart.
Her mother had found peace in a world that had turned against her, a world that seemed no longer to care about any of them. As much as Jewell wanted to take back the promise she’d given her mother, she knew she couldn’t. Today would be the day she’d find a new job, save every single dime she made, and then get a place with furniture, in a neighborhood with a good school.