He wanted her desperately, with a passion that bordered on obsession. She was pregnant. It wasn’t easy to go through a pregnancy alone. He would take care of her through the pregnancy, through the birth, and then . . . and then, he was sure by that time, he’d be ready to let her go.
He wouldn’t have to feel any guilt over it, because he could tell himself that he’d done a good thing, that he’d stepped in when she was most vulnerable, when she needed him most. It wasn’t as if he’d be the only one getting something out of the . . . relationship. Fear lodged in his throat when he even thought of that word, but he gulped it down. He knew that if he left now, he’d regret it.
“You’re an ass, Jackson. Just when I think you’re starting to show some hint of a real person inside that thick skin you wear, you say something like that.”
Now he was confused. “What’s wrong with admitting that I still want you? This is the perfect solution. I get what I want and so do you.” He smiled, thinking he’d just had a marvelous epiphany.
“Do pregnant women turn you on?” she asked scornfully.
“You turn me on.”
“And please tell me how I’m getting what I want. I would love to hear your thoughts on this one.”
“I’ll provide for you financially. Make sure you stay healthy. Take care of you.”
The more he spoke, the more he seemed to feel that his plan was already set in stone.
“What if I don’t want you, Jackson? What if there’s someone else?”
“I don’t care who the biological father is, Alyssa. He’s obviously gone and doesn’t seem to be coming back, so let me step in. We both win.”
“Wow. And please tell me exactly what you think we should do?”
“Whatever it takes,” he said, his eyes intense.
“Jackson, I don’t—”
“Don’t worry about answering me right now, Alyssa. You need to give your body time to heal. That’s enough on your plate. I’ll deal with everything else.”
“I don’t want you dealing with anything, Jackson!”
It was obvious he was upsetting her, which was the last thing he wanted to do. “I’m sorry. I’ll go, but please tell me you’ll at least think about my offer,” he said, gripping her hand firmly as he looked into her frightened eyes.
“I need to rest, Jackson. I saw my doctor this morning, and he told me I need to be on complete bed rest for a few days just to be safe, and to assure the baby inside that it’s still a safe environment, even after being knocked around a little.”
“I’ll let you rest. Just—just tell me this is something you’ll think about.”
“What do you want me to think about? I want to be real clear on this, Jackson. Are you asking me to be your mistress? Your pregnant mistress?”
Now he was the one who paused. When she put it like that, it made him sound like a real ass. Was that what he was asking of her? “I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“Then tell me how you would put it,” she said.
“I want to take care of you.” The words came out almost weak, as if he knew it didn’t hold up.
“I can’t even think right now, I’m so tired. Fine. If you aren’t going to answer me, and aren’t going to leave, then I’m ignoring you.”
With that, she turned over, leaving him to face her back, and then she closed her eyes. Jackson knew the chances of her falling asleep with him sitting there were unlikely, but he couldn’t seem to make himself get up and leave. When a few minutes later her breathing deepened and she did fall asleep, he smiled slightly. She wasn’t as uncomfortable around him as she said she was. Moving to the other side of her bed, so he could look into her face, he couldn’t help but brush back the soft blond strands of hair that were covering her eyes, emotion clogging his throat.
She had to believe he was the lowest of the low. Then, as he considered the sort of man he’d been over the last five years, he flinched. He probably deserved any unpleasant thing she thought of him, and a whole lot worse. He knew he was hardened and cynical, but he couldn’t help it. Life had made him that way. She was carrying another man’s baby. He should leave, never look back.
While he continued battling whatever it was he was feeling, her parents stepped through the doorway. They approached the bed and stood next to Jackson, gazing upon their daughter.
“She’s always been a fighter,” Teresa whispered, a tender smile on her face.
“Yes, she has,” Donald said.
“She certainly leaves an impression,” Jackson told them. “All I’ve witnessed so far is her strength. I hope to get to know her a whole lot better.”
“She needs good people in her life. There have been some who didn’t have her best interests at heart,” Teresa said, laying her hand on Jackson’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure if it was a warning or a blessing. He didn’t know what he wanted it to be.
“Are you the father?” Donald asked bluntly.
“No. But I can take care of her,” Jackson replied.
“What kind of man would leave her alone in this condition?” Donald asked. “You’d better not be playing games with her, especially not when she’s so vulnerable.”
“It’s all a little complicated, sir. Your daughter is . . .” Jackson waited for the right word to form on his tongue.
“She’s stubborn as hell and thinks she can do it all on her own,” Donald said. “Look what that thinking caused. She could have lost the baby her mother and I didn’t even know about until we were driving her home the other night.” He spoke again after a brief pause. “What are your intentions with my daughter?”
Damn! Jackson really didn’t know how to answer that question. Yes, he wanted her in his bed—that hadn’t changed—and yes, he was willing to take care of her to help him reach that goal. But if he said that he wanted to bed the man’s daughter, he was sure Donald would throw him through the second-floor window. And he’d deserve the harsh meeting with the pavement he’d receive.
“I hope to have a relationship with her.” What sort of relationship, he couldn’t say.
“Well, she didn’t mention you once in the last two days,” Donald said, not taking his eyes from Jackson’s face.
“Alyssa and I have something. I know that for sure,” he said.
“We’ll see about that,” Donald said, his eyes narrowing.