“Stop,” Laynie said, reading my expression. “You can’t worry about this until it’s a thing.”
Wasn’t that the pot calling the kettle black, considering it came from the most obsessive worrier I knew? But I was pretty sure there was no use arguing with her.
Fortunately, the delivery buzzer rang and she left to answer it, so the discussion was effectively put to bed.
Or, so I thought.
“She’s right, you know,” Ben said around a mouthful of peanuts. “You won’t know how this is going to play out until it plays out. Meanwhile, you shouldn’t spend the holiday alone. Come be with people who love you. I promise not to ignore you.”
My little brother knew better than anyone that hiding wasn’t the way to deal with emotions. Though his reasons for pushing family and friends away hadn’t been the same as mine, I acknowledged his opinion. “I’ll think about it, okay? But, really, I’d be miserable. And I’d make all of you miserable with my moping.”
He put an arm around my shoulders and nearly pulled me off my barstool as he tugged me in for a side hug. “You never make me miserable, big sis.” He paused a moment before adding, “That’s Norma’s job.”
He kissed my hair as I chuckled. He started to pull away then stopped suddenly to whisper in my ear. “Now that’s definitely something that doesn’t make me miserable. Holy Mama, I could look at that piece of fine all day.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” He nodded beyond me, and I twisted to follow his gaze.
My eyes settled on Laynie first, but it was only a millisecond before they caught on the man next to her. All the air left my lungs.
“Oh my God. JC.”
And that was all I could say because my voice had left me. And my mouth had gone dry. And my hands were suddenly damp, as well as other parts of me—lower parts. And if he said anything, I didn’t hear it because sound had evaporated and all that I was aware of was my body and the way it came alive. The rush of warmth through my limbs. The flush of my face. The thudding of my heart in my chest, beating so hard it might burst. Or fly away.
Or, no—pounding like it had finally come back. Returned with him. Here. Unbelievably, in a place I wasn’t sure he’d find me.
“Hey, Gwen.” How I’d missed my name on his tongue. It had a flavor to it I could practically taste. Sweet and chocolaty and a little salty too.
“Hey,” I managed as I slipped, or fell, rather, off the stool to my feet. My knees were so weak that I had to hold onto the bar to keep standing.
“That’s JC?” Liesl had no filter. “I was hoping the buzzer meant we were finally getting the new menus delivered. Bummer.”
I thought about turning to glare at her, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t stop looking at the man in front of me, my gaze fastened toward him like the arrow on a compass pointing north. His eyes stayed pinned on me as well, both of us trapped in a field of magnetic energy that sparked and spit and spanned every inch of space between my body and his.
God, what he did to my hormones. How would I survive if he got closer? If he touched me? Of course, that required movement and maybe even dialogue, and both were foreign concepts at the moment.
Thankfully, Alayna had her head on for me. “Why don’t you go up to one of the bubble rooms where you can be alone? I’ll make sure the club gets opened.”
“And I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Ben came up behind me. Jesus, I’d forgotten he was still there. I probably should have done introductions or something, but I just couldn’t do anything.
He seemed to understand, bending to kiss my forehead. “If you need anything, come over before you crash in the morning. Or just come over.”
To talk, he meant, and I was grateful. But, “Yeah,” was all I could manage.
“He’s her brother!” Liesl shouted as Ben walked out, apparently worried about the perception he’d given JC. “And he’s gay! Totally no competition.”
“Liesl,” Laynie said sharply, though I could hear the urge to laugh behind the admonition. “Gwen.” She waited until I dragged my eyes to her—it was very, very difficult. “Bubble room.”
I opened my mouth to suggest it, not knowing yet how I’d form words, but JC spoke first. “Can we talk there?” His body remained poised and confident, despite the edge of trepidation in his words. “I’d really like it if we could talk.”
“Yeah.” Oh my God, Gwen, pull yourself together!
I shook off the daze as best as I could. “Yes, of course. The club will open soon, but there are private tables up there.” My forehead knit. “You do mean talk now, right? Or did you mean could we talk later?” I sounded flustered and shaken because that was exactly what I was.