“I have to tell him?” I didn’t want to have to admit anything about Chandler to JC. It was too awful.
She glared at me with disbelief. “Yes, you have to tell him.” Then she swatted me for good measure.
I groaned again.
“I’m sure the thought of it is worse than the actual confessing. If he loves you, he’ll understand.”
Alayna was still a newlywed. Still caught up in the hearts and rainbows part of romance. She talked about the difficult times that had preceded her marriage as if she understood hard times, but remembered anguish was never as horrible as it was when living in it. It was easy to say he’ll love you, he’ll understand after he’d proved that he would.
I unfortunately hadn’t known JC long enough to have the luxury of that certainty.
I pressed my middle finger against a spot just above the bridge of my nose where a headache was beginning to form. “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.”
“You’re right. You don’t know. So give him the benefit of the doubt before deciding it’s a lost cause.” She paused. “Or don’t. And let it end. But you can’t stay in this limbo forever.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Tell him.
I had to tell him. It was bad, but it wasn’t as bad as the thought of leaving things as they were. And maybe I’d tell him and we’d still have issues. At least I’d know that I’d done everything I could before giving up. Telling him was for the best.
Actually having to speak the words, though…
Ugh.
I threw my hand out in the air and opened my eyes with an exasperated sigh. “Then what should I do now? He didn’t say he wanted to see me again. He didn’t tell me where he’s staying. Do I just wait for him to contact me again? It feels like all I ever do is wait for him.”
“He texted you. You have his number. You know how to use that, don’t you?”
I was about to sneer at her for being sassy when her phone buzzed.
“That’s Hudson,” she said, not looking at it. “I’m sure he’s wondering where I am.”
I glanced at the clock, only now realizing that she’d stayed more than a half an hour past her shift, probably for me. “Go. I’m fine.”
She crossed to her desk to get her purse before heading to the door. “Hey, I’m really sorry I pulled you away from him. It was Liesl who locked the keys in the safe.”
“I know. And no worries. It’s good to have time to process before I see him again. Time to cool down. It wasn’t the best place to talk anyway.”
She paused in the frame and shrugged. “I don’t know. I once had an eventful conversation in that same bubble room. That’s another thing you could ask Hudson about.”
“I don’t want to hear this.” I put a hand to my face as if that could stop any unwanted visions of Hudson and Alayna doing who-knows-what in there. I made a mental note to make sure that cleaning the club upholstery was on the weekly janitorial schedule.
“Are you sure? It’s a good story.” She waggled her brows twice then grew serious. “Let’s talk tomorrow. Call me.”
I said I would. She waved once then opened the door. “And call him!” she shouted, as it swung closed behind her.
Yes. Call him. I’d do that.
Just as soon as I figured out what I’d say.
Chapter Eight
Turned out I didn’t have to call him.
When I walked out of the club early the next morning, I found him waiting for me, still dressed in the same clothes he’d been in the night before, leaning against the side of the building.
He’d waited for me like that once before, meeting me after a shift at the Eighty-Eighth Floor. Seeing him then had stirred a storm of butterflies in my belly.
This time it was more like a tornado.
I was terrified to face him and yet desperate to all at once. No matter what happened between us in the future, the way he affected me was once-in-a-lifetime. No one else would ever make me weak in the knees like he did. No one else could ever bring me such welcomed tumult.
“It seemed we still had more to talk about,” he said after my closing employees had gone on their way. “I hope this is okay.”
“Yeah. It’s definitely okay.” I wondered if he could tell that by okay, I meant the most wonderful horrible thing in the world.
“Can I walk you home?”
It wasn’t a marriage proposal—ha ha—but the question sent me flying all the same. “Sure.” My voice sounded higher than normal. I cleared my throat. “It’s about fifteen minutes from here.”