Now that all the shit with her stalker was behind them, she had to wonder whether this thing between them would fizzle out and die. For her, that wasn’t likely to happen, but she didn’t know what Brendon was thinking or feeling. Last night, when they’d fallen into bed, Cheyenne had been desperate for him to make love to her, but he’d had other plans. Rather than give her a memory to replace all the horrors of the day, Brendon had merely held her close and rubbed her back until she fell asleep.
It was as though he was already drifting away, and for the life of her, she didn’t know what to do to keep that bond between them. Cheyenne didn’t want to lose him. Hell, she’d just come to terms with the fact that she loved him.
She’d even considered modifying her entire world to accommodate him. She’d replayed her conversation with Zoey in her head a time or two, and though her friend seemed to think Brendon might be open to her continuing with her music career, she’d somehow managed to brace herself for the alternative just in case.
“Our lives don’t mesh all that well. Well, right now bein’ an exception.”
“You mean your life on the road?”
Cheyenne nodded.
“But you said you loved him.”
“I know. But that doesn’t mean I can just call a halt to my career and spend all my time here.”
“Whoa there, Nelly. What’re you talkin’ about?”
“He wants to be here. It’s where his life is.”
“And what makes you think Brendon wouldn’t compromise?”
Truth was, she wanted Brendon more than she wanted anything else. She didn’t necessarily want him to be the one to compromise. She’d never known this all-encompassing feeling that warmed her from the inside out when she thought about him. And she wasn’t sure she could tolerate spending any time away from him. Being on the road for days on end, only talking to him on the phone … It wouldn’t be enough. She wanted to spend every night in his arms, wake every morning to him beside her.
Releasing a shuddering breath, Cheyenne squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to cry. She didn’t know what his plans were and until they hashed that out, she had no reason to be upset.
“Mornin’.”
Cheyenne turned her head toward his voice, seeing Brendon standing in the doorway, his hands on the jamb above his head, his long, lean body stretched as he stared over at her, and her body awakened.
God, the man was gorgeous. Desire stirred in her core.
“Mornin’,” she replied, forcing a smile.
“I was hopin’ you’d sleep for a while.”
“What time is it?” Cheyenne inquired, not bothering to look at the clock.
“Six.” Holy crap. They hadn’t gone to bed until nearly two.
“What’re you doin’ up so early?” she asked.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“I’m sorry,” she said immediately.
Brendon released his grip on the jamb and moved toward her slowly, their eyes locked. “There’s nothin’ for you to apologize for, Chey.”
“Isn’t there?” she questioned irrationally, her emotions churning inside her as she stared at him.
“No,” he reiterated, joining her on the bed.
She noticed that he didn’t touch her, didn’t get close enough for her to touch him.
“What do we do now, Bren?” she asked when the silence thickened, making her stomach knot.
“About what?” he asked.
“About us.”
Brendon didn’t answer, but she hadn’t really expected him to. The guy had always been a closed book. At least until recently. She felt as though she knew more about him now than she knew about any man from her past. What they’d been through these last two years had given her decent insight into why Brendon did what he did, but the man she’d gotten acquainted with these last few weeks wasn’t anything remotely like the guy she’d known before.
“Now that this is over, does that mean we are, too?” she asked, her voice shaky with her trepidation. If the answer was yes, she certainly didn’t want him to tell her.
Brendon’s eyes slid down to his hands. “I don’t know what it means, Chey.”
Tears threatened, but Cheyenne managed to hold them in. She didn’t want Brendon to see her cry. Not about this. She was strong enough to endure this should he decide he didn’t want to be with her. Was it what she wanted? Absolutely not. But she’d learned through the years just how much she was capable of enduring. Recent events had solidified that.
“What is it that you want?” Brendon asked, his gaze lifting to meet hers once again.