“Please,” Rionna whispered.
Keeley slumped down on the bed and Rionna took the place next to her, though she kept a distance between them.
Rionna twisted her fingers nervously in front of her and focused her stare on the opposite wall.
“I was devastated when my mother labeled you a whore and turned you out of the keep. I knew what had happened and I was furious with her for blaming you. She was a prideful woman, and she would have died if anyone had known the truth. ’Twas no excuse. I was angry with her until the day she died for not protecting you as she would me. I always wondered …”
Rionna took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I’ve always wondered what she would have done if it had been me. Would she have cried me whore? Would she have pretended it didn’t happen? Would she have turned against her own daughter to save her pride?”
Keeley swallowed against the huge knot in her throat. There was so much pain and shame in Rionna’s voice. She ached to reach out and enfold her in her arms.
“She pretended as though you didn’t exist,” Rionna said painfully. “I used to lie awake at night worried about how you fared and how you would survive.”
“And yet you did or said nothing after your mother died,” Keeley said bitterly.
Rionna sighed, her face creased with unhappiness. “The people who came to you for aid, the ones who always gave you coin or venison from the hunt, those were sent by me. ’Twas the only way I could be sure you were cared for and that you had what you needed.”
Keeley called back the mounting grief and clenched her hands tight so she didn’t break down. “What I needed was your love and support, the support of my clan. Have you any idea how it felt to be cast out and to know that I could never return, and that to the people who’d raised and loved me since birth I was now dead?”
Rionna reached over and gingerly took her hand, as if she were afraid that Keeley would jerk it away.
“I couldn’t let you come back, Keeley.”
Keeley’s head jerked up and she stared in confusion at her cousin. “Why?”
Shame crowded Rionna’s eyes and she looked away, tears brimming in the golden orbs.
“He was obsessed with you, Keeley. He would have never left you alone. The only way I could protect you was to make sure you stayed away from my father. You would have never been safe with him near.”
Keeley’s heart lurched. The truth of Rionna’s words hit her with the force of a fist. She’s seen the lust in Laird McDonald’s eyes. She’d felt his desperation. ’Twas as if the last years hadn’t existed and he’d waited this long to have his chance at her.
“Oh, Rionna,” Keeley whispered.
“ ’Tis part of the reason I agreed to the marriage with Alaric McCabe,” Rionna continued. “If my father were no longer laird, I could have welcomed you back in your home. The McCabes are honorable. Alaric would have never allowed my father to harm you. We could be sisters again.”
Keeley’s eyes stung. Her throat throbbed with unshed tears and her heart ached for the lost innocence of two young girls.
“I’ve never forgotten you, Keeley. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t worried for you. I’ve always loved you as a sister, and I know you have reason to be angry. I wouldn’t blame you if you never forgave me, but I did the only thing I could do to keep you safe.”
Keeley leaned forward and pulled Rionna into a hug. They gripped each other for several minutes, both of them sniffling as they battled their tears. Keeley didn’t even know what to say. She’d harbored her hurt for so long but now she understood that Rionna had suffered just as much.
“I was so worried when I was told you were gone from your cottage,” Rionna said as she pulled away. “How did you come to be with the McCabes?”
Guilt crowded uncomfortably into Keeley’s mind. How could she tell Rionna of all that had transpired and of her affair with Alaric? How could she hurt her with the knowledge that her future husband loved another? She felt no guilt for the lie she quickly crafted.
“Laird McCabe had need of a healer, with his wife so close to her time. ’Twas a chance meeting, but he offered me a home and sanctuary and ’Twas an opportunity I could not pass up.”
Anxiety darkened Rionna’s gaze as she stared back at Keeley. “Are you happy here? Are you treated well?”
Keeley smiled and took Rionna’s hand in hers again. “Aye. I am. The McCabes are my family.”
“I’m glad you’ll be here for my marriage to Alaric,” Rionna said. “There’s no one I’d rather have near than you.”
It took everything in Keeley’s power not to react to Rionna’s innocent statement.
Impulsively, Rionna tugged Keeley into her arms again and squeezed her in a hug. “I don’t want to lose you again, Keeley. Promise me you’ll come to visit and that you’ll attend me at the birth of my first child. I don’t want years to go by between us again.”
Keeley closed her eyes and hugged Rionna fiercely in return. “Aye,” she croaked out. “I promise.”
Chapter 34
Keeley watched from her window as Alaric walked with Rionna along the shore of the loch. It wasn’t the most private courtship. McCabes and McDonalds alike were posted as guards as the couple spent time together.
While certainly not warm, the unseasonable temperatures made it comfortable to be outdoors, and in fact, the courtyard was alive with wedding preparations.
With the king’s arrival, word had flown through the highlands, and neighboring clans were arriving to set up camp outside the McCabe walls.