He’d known little of his father. His name, of course, and that he was the younger son of a well-to-do English family. His aunt had met him but twice; her impression had been that he was somewhat estranged from his relations. He spoke of them only laughingly, in that manner people used when they did not wish to say anything of substance.
He hadn’t much money, or so his aunt assumed. His clothes were fine, but well-worn, and as far as anyone could tell, he’d been wandering the Irish countryside for months. He’d said he had come to witness the wedding of a school friend and liked it so much that he stayed. His aunt saw no reason to doubt this.
In the end, all Jack knew was this: John Augustus Cavendish was a well-born English gentleman who’d traveled to Ireland, fallen in love with Louise Galbraith, married her, and then died when the ship carrying them to England had sunk off the coast of Ireland. Louise had washed ashore, her body bruised and shivering, but alive. It was over a month before anyone realized she was pregnant.
But she was weak, and she was devastated by grief, and her sister-the woman who had raised Jack as her own-said it was more of a surprise that Louise survived the pregnancy than it was that she finally succumbed at his birth.
And that fairly well summed up Jack’s knowledge of his paternal heritage. He thought about his parents from time to time, wondering who they’d been and which had gifted him with his ready smile, but in truth, he’d never yearned for anything more. At the age of two days he’d been given to William and Mary Audley, and if they had ever loved their own children more, they never allowed him to know it. Jack had grown up the de facto son of a country squire, with two brothers, a sister, and twenty acres of rolling pasture, perfect for riding, running, jumping-anything a young boy could fancy.
It had been a marvelous childhood. Damn near perfect. If he was not leading the life he’d anticipated, if he sometimes lay in bed and wondered what the hell he was doing robbing coaches in the dead of night-at least he knew that the road to this point had been paved with his own choices, his own flaws.
And most of the time, he was happy. He was reasonably cheerful by nature, and really, one could do worse than playing Robin Hood along rural British roads. At least he felt as if he had some sort of purpose. After he and the army had parted ways, he’d not known what to do with himself. He was not willing to return to his life as a soldier, and yet, what else was he qualified to do? He had two skills in life, it seemed: He could sit a horse as if he’d been born in the position, and he could turn a conversation with enough wit and flair to charm even the crustiest of individuals. Put together, robbing coaches had seemed the most logical choice.
Jack had made his first theft in Liverpool, when he’d seen a young toff kick a one-handed former soldier who’d had the temerity to beg for a penny. Somewhat buoyed by a rather potent pint of ale, Jack had followed the fellow into a dark corner, pointed a gun a his heart, and walked off with his wallet.
The contents of which he had then dispersed among the beggars on Queens Way, most of whom had fought for-and then been forgotten by-the good people of England.
Well, ninety per cent of the contents had been dispersed. Jack had to eat, too.
After that, it had been an easy step to move to highway robbery. It was so much more elegant than the life of footpad. And it could not be denied that it was much easier to get away on horseback.
And so that was his life. It was what he did. If he’d gone back to Ireland, he would probably be married by now, sleeping with one woman, in one bed, in one house. His life would be County Cavan, and his world a far, far smaller place than it was today.
His was a roaming soul. That was why he did not go back to Ireland.
He splashed a bit more brandy into his glass. There were a hundred reasons why he did not go back to Ireland. Fifty, at least.
He took a sip, then another, then drank deeply until he was too sotted to continue his dishonesty.
There was one reason he did not go back to Ireland. One reason, and four people he did not think he could face.
Rising from his seat, he walked to the window and looked out. There wasn’t much to see-a small barn for horses, a thickly leaved tree across the road. The moonlight had turned the air translucent-shimmery and thick, as if a man could step outside and lose himself.
He smiled grimly. It was tempting. It was always tempting.
He knew where Belgrave Castle was. He’d been in the county for a week; one could not remain in Lincolnshire that long without learning the locations of the grand houses, even if one wasn’t a thief out to rob their inhabitants. He could take a look, he supposed. He probably should take a look. He owed it to someone. Hell, maybe he owed it to himself.
He hadn’t been interested in his father much…but he’d always been interested a little. And he was here.
Who knew when he’d be in Lincolnshire again? He was far too fond of his head to ever stay in one place for long.
He didn’t want to talk to the old lady. He didn’t want to introduce himself and make explanations or pretend that he was anything other than what he was-
A veteran of the war.
A highwayman.
A rogue.
An idiot.
An occasionally sentimental fool who knew that the softhearted ladies who’d tended the wounded had it all wrong-sometimes you couldn’t go home again.
But dear Lord, what he wouldn’t give just to take a peek.
He closed his eyes. His family would welcome him back. That was the worst of it. His aunt would put her arms around him. She would tell him it wasn’t his fault. She would be so understanding.
But she would not understand. That was his final thought before he fell asleep.