Reaching for my bag on the stool next to me, I rake through it, searching for my phone. My fingers find and curl around it. Pulling it out, I unlock the screen.
Bloody thing is all blurry.
I blink, trying to clear my eyes.
I go to my Contacts, all four of them.
Jesus, I’m pathetic.
That makes me snort-cry.
I wipe at my eyes as I press Cece’s number. I put the phone to my ear and wait.
It seems to ring for ages.
Then, the line connects, and a male voice says, “Daisy?”
Um, what?
I pull the phone from my ear and look at the screen.
Oh, holy mother of crap.
Kas.
I dialed Kas’s number instead of Cece’s.
Crappity crap!
I can hear him yelling my name down the phone.
I tentatively put the phone to my ear.
“Hey, Mr. Matis.” I try to sound normal. Of course, I slur the words.
“Daisy”—his voice is like stone—“are you drunk?”
“No!” I shake my head, like he can see me. “Of course I’m not!” And, of course, that also comes out slurred. I clear my throat and try to focus on my words. “I’m not drunk. I’m just happy! Happy! Happy! Happy! This is my happy voice!”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he sighs. “Where are you?”
I don’t think I’ve convinced him of my soberness.
Shit.
“Where am I?”
“Yes, Daisy. Where the fuck are you right now?” He talks to me like I’m a small child.
“There’s no need to swear, Mr. Matis. And I’m in a bar.”
“Which bar?”
“Dunno.” I shrug.
“Daisy…” His voice is a low warning.
“Okay!” I try to think if I saw the name when I came in, but I don’t remember. I just remember seeing the place and realizing it sold alcohol, so I just went straight on in. I glance around the bar, seeing nothing. “Um…there’s nothing. I mean, there are chairs and tables and a bar and alcohol…lots of alcohol.” I giggle. “I’ve had some amazing drinks. You’d love it here. Well, probably not. But maybe you should have a drink. It might loosen you up a bit because you are kind of uptight. You should come and drink with me! We can get drunk together!”
“You sound like you’ve had more than enough already.”
“Ugh! You sound like the cute bartender.”
“Cute bartender?”
“Yep. He’s lovely. He’s been giving me lots of drinks. And he has really nice arms. They’re not as nice as your arms though. Your arms are the best. Really muscular. And your skin reminds me of caramel—oh, I’m hungry now. I could just eat—”
“Daisy—”
“A Cadbury Caramel. And the cute bartender is sweet. He’s gone to get me a coffee, and then we’re going to get to know one another.”
“What do you mean, you’re going to get to know one another?” His voice is like granite.
“I dunno. But he’s nice. You’re nice sometimes—well, rarely.” I snort. “I mean, you act like a Kas-hole pretty much all the time. But you’re nice sometimes, and it’s nice when you are nice, you know what I mean? Because there’s only Ce who’s nice to me. But the cute bartender is nice. So, yeah, that’s cool. Did I tell you that my baby brother hates me?” I laugh, but I hear the pain in my voice loud and clear. “He’s like my kid. I raised him, and he actually hates me. More than you do, I think. Unless you wish I were dead ’cause he wishes I were dead. So, if you wish I were dead, then you probably hate me more.”
I pause to take a breath. Instead, a sob falls from my mouth.
“Shit…Daisy…” Kas’s voice is softer than I’ve ever heard it.
I feel that softness touch me. It touches that pain in my chest and soothes it a little.
“Tell me where you are.” His voice is still gentle, but this time, I don’t feel better. I feel something break deep inside me.
I hold that crack together. But more tears track down my face. I grab that screwed up napkin and wipe my face again.
Then, I see Cute Bartender coming back with my coffee, so I pretend all is okay, and I force a big smile at him.
“Daisy?” Kas says my name, a little sterner this time.
“I’m still here. Just wait a sec.” Keeping the phone to my ear, I move the mouthpiece away from my mouth, and I speak to the bartender, “I meant to call my friend, Cece, but I somehow called my boss—you know, the one who hates me. Well, he wants to know which bar I’m in, but I’m not sure what this bar’s called, and I thought you would know. Do you know?”
Dur! Of course he knows, dummy.
Cute Bartender chuckles as he puts the cup of coffee down in front of me. “The Nelson.”
I move the mouthpiece back to my mouth. “I’m in The Nelson,” I repeat to Kas.
“And where exactly is The Nelson?” He sounds really pissed off.
This is the Kas I know. I feel more comfortable that he’s being pissy with me. It’s weird when he’s nice.
I tip the mouthpiece away again. “He wants to know whereabouts The Nelson is? He sounds really pissed off,” I whisper-giggle.
“I am really pissed off,” Kas growls in my ear.
“You’re really bloody grumpy, you know that?” I tell Kas.
“Yeah, and you’re a monumental pain in my arse,” he fires back.
“We’re in Camden,” Cute Bartender tells me.