That was all. He rolled over and looked at her, his gaze crystal clear and direct. The moment stretched between them, a fine tension pulling tight every muscle in her body, which was humming with a need that silently asked and was answered.
He tossed aside his blanket and crouched beside her, reaching under her blanket to peel the silk long johns and underwear down her legs and place them on top of the piles of gear. Her sudden nakedness made her heart thunder in her chest, made her clench her legs together to contain the sudden jolt of heat and sensation. Abruptly she felt so aroused she was afraid she might come at his first touch. She didn't want that, she wanted to feel him inside her, feel the deliciousness of hard strokes that built and built until she couldn't take any more and broke.
On his knees beside her, he unfastened his pants and pushed them down. His penis thrust up and out, blue veins prominent and the head dark with engorged blood. She reached out to grasp him, and he caught her hand, the move so last she saw only a blur. "No." His eyes were narrow as he lifted the blanket and moved on top of her, kneeing her clenched thighs apart and pushing his hips between them. "I've waited so long to make love to you; I don't want to come in your hand."
She knew, oh, she knew. She wanted to relax but she couldn't, her entire body was coiled and tense. Her legs clamped around him, pulling him to her. Her hips lifted, seeking, but the angle was wrong and his erection was a stiff rod between them, pushing and making her gasp with pain. He fought her grip, levering himself away far enough to get his hand between them while she desperately tried to pull him back.
"Jesus,'" he said between clenched teeth. "Cate - God! Let me - " He dragged the head of his penis into place and worked it inside her, then pushed hard.
She heard herself taking ragged breaths, almost sobbing. It hurt. She was surprised by how much it hurt. She was wet and aroused, but almost locked with tension. She wanted to cry. Site wanted to scream. She wanted to buck him off and be rid of this hot, full, stretched sensation, and at the same time she wanted him to thrust hard and fast until this horrible tension was gone and she could relax again. Her fingers dug into his back, found his muscles as tight as hers.
He was sucking in deep breaths, too, his entire body shaking as if he were straining against some irresistible force. She turned her head and saw his fingers sunk into the web of branches beneath the pad, the muscles in his forearm standing out and quivering.
He made a raw sound, and pressed his forehead against hers. "If I move, I'll come."
If he didn't move, she would die.
They strained against each other, desperately fighting to control the savage urgency that gripped them. She whimpered, feeling as if she'd been caught in some great vortex that was about to tear her to pieces, whirling her closer and closer to some unbearable destruction. She gave a small scream and her inner muscles clamped convulsively around him. Her sight dimmed, the world went away, and she began coming.
His control broke and he braced over her, his whole body surging, flexing, thrusting, pushing so deep she screamed again. He shook with the force of his climax, shook and cursed and groaned so harshly the sounds seemed to tear from his chest.
Slowly, so slowly, he collapsed onto her.
She became aware that he was incredibly heavy, for someone who looked so lean. And he was hot, his body heat counteracting the frigid air creeping into their little enclosure. She was still clutching at his back, and she forced her hands to relax. They slid down his back, brushed over the smoothness of his bare buttocks.
Her cheeks were wet. She didn't know why she was crying, and she really wasn't; she was gasping for breath and trying to slow her galloping heartbeat, but the tears kept leaking from her eyes. He kissed them away, nuzzled her temples, her jawline, and finally settled on her mouth. She felt the stickiness of his semen leaking out of her, but he didn't withdraw even though she could tell that he'd softened. Staying inside her saved time.
The second time was much, much slower. She came again, but though he got hard, he couldn't climax, and he didn't seem to care. He just kept moving against her like the ripple of wind on a lake, riding her to a third climax before she begged him to stop. She was going to be sore and she suspected he would be, too, but still she hated that moment when their flesh separated, and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out in protest.
They managed to clean up, using some of the bottled water; then he pulled up his pants and with a groan collapsed back onto the sleep pad, pulling her down on top of him. With both blankets over them and sharing their body heat, she was much warmer than before and quickly dozed off, to waken when he shifted beneath her.
She touched his face, loving the stubble that scraped her palm, loving, too. the way he pressed a light kiss to her palm before dosing his eyes again.
"You stopped blushing." she murmured, tracing her fingertip over the curve of his tipper lip. Suddenly the subject seemed important. "Why did you stop blushing?"'
He opened his eyes, his gaze steady on her face. "Because you started."
She had blushed around him lately; she'd been so confused by the abrupt change in her feelings for him that she'd felt completely unbalanced.
"When you moved here." he said, "I knew you weren't ready." His quiet voice wrapped around her like a touch. The snow outside had muted all other sounds except the gentle crackling of the fire, and his voice. "You were still in shock from losing your husband, still grieving. You had a wall around you that didn't let you see me as a man."
"I saw you." she protested. "You just seemed so shy - "