"And have you been with me in all of them?"
"Any of them I could manage."
"What do the rest of the notes mean?" Hannah had been gathering speed, and now she was shooting questions at him in machine-gun fashion. She thought she was in control, and she hardly noticed the hysterical edge to her own voice. "Why am I telling myself I'll be dead before I'm seventeen?"
"Hannah..." He reached out a hand to calm her.
Hannah's own hand moved by reflex, coming up to ward his off. And then their fingers touched, bare skin to bare skin, and the world disappeared.
Chapter 7
It was like being struck by lightning. Hannah felt the current through her body, but it was her mind that was most affected.
I know you! It was as if she had been standing in a dark landscape, lost and blind, when suddenly a brilliant flash illuminated everything, allowing her to see farther than she'd ever seen before. She was trembling violently, pitching forward even as he fell toward her. Electricity was running through every nerve in her body and she was shaking and shaking, overcome by waves of the purest emotion she'd ever felt.
Fury.
"You were supposed to be there!" She got out in a choked gasp. "Where were you?"
You were supposed to be with me-for so long! You're part of me, the part I've always vaguely missed.
You were supposed to be around, helping out, picking me up when I fell down. Watching my back, listening to my stories. Understanding things that I wouldn't want to tell other people. Loving me when I'm stupid. Giving me something to take care of and be good to, the way the Goddess meant women to do.
Hannah-
It was the closest thing to a mental gasp Hannah could imagine, and with it she realized that somehow they were directly connected now. He could hear her thoughts, just as she could hear his.
Good! she thought, not wasting time to marvel over this. Her mind was raging on.
You were my flying companion! My playmate! You were my other half of the mysteries! We were supposed to be sacred to each other-and you haven't been there!
This last thought she sent squarely toward him. And she felt it hit him, and felt his reaction.
"I've tried!"
He was horrified... guilt-stricken. But then, Hannah could sense that this was pretty much the usual state for him, so it didn't affect him quite as much as it might have someone else. And beneath the horror was an astonishment and burgeoning joy that sent a different kind of tingle through her.
"You do know me, don't you?" he said quietly. He pushed her back to look at her, as if he still couldn't believe it. "You remember... Hannah, how much do you remember?"
Hannah was looking at him, studying him.... Yes, I know that bone structure. And the eyes, especially the eyes. It was like an adopted child discovering a brother or sister and seeing familiar features in an unfamiliar face, tracing each one with wonder and recognition.
"I remember... that we were meant for each other. That we're"-she came up with the word slowly-'
'soulmates.''
"Yes," he whispered. Awe was softening his features, changing his eyes. The desperate sadness that seemed so much a part of them was lightening. "Soulmates. We were destined for each other. We should have been together down the ages."
They were supporting each other now, Hannah kneeling on the porch and Thierry holding her with one knee on a step. Their faces were inches apart. Hannah found herself watching his mouth.
"So what happened?" she whispered.
In the same tone, without moving back, he whispered, "I screwed up."
"Oh."
Her initial fury had faded. She could feel him, feel his emotions, sense his thoughts. He was as anguished at their separation as she was. He wanted her. He loved her... adored her. He thought of her the way poets think of the moon and the stars-in ridiculous hyperbole. He actually saw her surrounded by a sort of silvery halo.
Which was completely silly, but if he wanted to think of her that way-well, Hannah wouldn't object. It made her want to be very gentle with him.
And right now she could feel his warm breath. If she leaned forward just an inch her top lip would touch his bottom lip.
Hannah leaned forward.
"Wait-" he said.
That was a mistake, saying it out loud. It moved his lips against hers, turning it from a touch into a kiss.
And then, for a while, neither of them could resist. They needed each other so desperately, and the kiss was warm and sweet. Hannah was flooded with love and comfort and joy.
This was meant to be.
Hannah was dizzy but still capable of thought. I knew life had something wonderful and mysterious to give me. Something I could sense but not see, something that was always just out of reach.
And here it is. I'm one of the lucky ones-I've found it.
Thierry wasn't as articulate. All she could hear him think was, Yes.
Hannah had never been so filled with gratitude. Love spilled from her and into Thierry and back again.
The more she gave, the more she got back. It was a cycle, taking them higher and higher.
Like flying, Hannah thought. She wasn't dizzy anymore. She was strangely dear and calm, as if she were standing on a mountaintop. Infinite tenderness ... infinite belonging. It was so good it hurt.
And it made her want to give more.
She knew what she wanted. It was what she'd tried to give him the first time, when she knew he would die without her. She'd wanted to give him what all women could give.
Life.
She was only a girl now, not ready for the responsibilities that would come with making new life from her body. But she could give Thierry life another way.
She pulled back to look at him, to see bruised dark eyes filled with aching tenderness. Then she touched his mouth with her fingertips.