"The problem is that we were trusting Shinichi's word that he would leave then - when Shinichi's word meant nothing at all.
"Plus, ever since then he's been using the telepathic channel that he opened between his mind and Damon's to take more and more of Damon's memories without Damon even knowing.
"It happened just last night, when we were pulled over by a policeman who wanted to know what three teenagers in an expensive car were doing that late at night. Damon Influenced him to go away. But just a few hours later Damon had forgotten the policeman completely.
"It frightens Damon. And anything that frightens Damon - not that he would ever admit it - scares me to death.
"And, you might ask, what were three teenagers doing out in the middle of nowhere, in Union County, Tennessee, according to the last road sign I saw? We're heading toward some Gate to the Dark Dimension...where Shinichi and Misao left Stefan in the prison called the Shi no Shi. Shinichi only put the knowledge into Damon's mind, and I can't get Damon to say much about what kind of place it is. But Stefan is there and I'll get to him somehow, even if it kills me.
"Even if I have to learn how to kill.
"I'm not the sweet little girl from Virginia I used to be."
Elena stopped and blew out her breath. But then, cuddling herself, she went on.
"And why is Matt along with us? Well, because of Caroline Forbes, my friend since kindergarten. Last year...when Stefan came to Fell's Church, she and I both wanted him. But Stefan didn't want Caroline. And after that she turned into my worst enemy.
"Caroline was also the lucky winner of Shinichi's first visit to any girl in Fell's Church. But more to the point: she was Tyler Smallwood's girlfriend quite a while before she was his victim. I wonder how long they were together and where Tyler is now. All I know is that, in the end, Caroline hung on to Shinichi because she 'needed a husband.' That was how she put it herself. So I assume - well, what Damon assumes. That she's going to...have puppies. A werewolf litter, you know? Since Tyler is a werewolf.
"Damon says that having a werewolf baby turns you into a werewolf even faster than if you're bitten, and that at some point in the pregnancy you gain the power to be all wolf or all human, but before that point you're just a mixed-up mess.
"The sad thing is that Shinichi scarcely gave Caroline a second glance when she blurted it all out.
"But before that Caroline had been desperate enough to accuse Matt of - of assaulting her - on a date that went wrong. She had to have known something about what Shinichi was doing because she claimed her 'date' with Matt was at a time when one of the arm-swallowing mallach was attacking him, making marks on his arm that looked like a girl's fingernail scratches.
"That sent the police after Matt, all right. So basically I just made him come with us. Caroline's father is one of the most important people in Fell's Church - and he's friends with the district attorney in Ridgemont and the leader of one of those men's clubs where they have secret handshakes and other stuff that makes you, you know, 'prominent in the community.'
"If I hadn't convinced Matt to run instead of facing Caroline's charges, the Forbeses would have lynched him. And I feel the anger like a fire inside me - not just anger and hurt for Matt, but anger and the feeling that Caroline has let all girls everywhere down. Because most girls aren't pathological liars, and wouldn't say something like that about a boy falsely. She's shamed all girls by doing what she did."
Elena paused, looking at her hands, and then added, "Sometimes when I get angry at Caroline, cups shake or pencils roll right off the table. Damon says all this is caused by my aura, my life force, and that ever since I came back from the afterlife it's been different. First of all, it makes anyone who drinks my blood incredibly strong.
"Stefan was strong enough that the fox demons could never have forced him into their trap if Damon hadn't tricked him in the beginning. They could only deal with him when he was weakened and surrounded by iron. Iron is bad news for any eldritch creature, plus vampires need to feed at least once a day or they get weak, and I'll bet - no, I'm sure that they used that against him.
"That's why I can't stand to think about what shape Stefan might be in right this minute. But I can't let myself get too afraid or angry or I'll lose control of my aura. Damon showed me how to keep my aura mostly inside, like a normal human girl. It's still pale gold and pretty, but not a beacon for creatures like vampires.
"Because there's one other thing my blood - maybe even just my aura - can do. It can...oh, well, I can say anything I want to here, right? Nowadays, my aura can make vampires want me...the way human guys do. Not just to bite, get it? But to kiss and all the rest. And so, naturally, they come after me if they sense it. It's as if the world is full of honeybees and I'm the only flower.
"So I have to practice keeping my aura hidden. If it's just barely showing, then I can get away with seeming like a normal human, not somebody who's died and come back. But it's hard to always remember to hide it - and it hurts a lot pulling it in suddenly if I've forgotten!
"And then I feel - this is absolutely private, all right? I'm putting a curse on you, Damon, if you replay this. But it's then that I feel like I want Stefan to bite me. It eases up the pressure, and that's good. Being bitten by a vampire only hurts if you fight it, or if the vampire wants it to hurt. Otherwise, it can just feel good - and then you touch the mind of the vampire who's done it, and...oh, I just miss Stefan so much!"
Elena was shaking now. As hard as she tried to quiet her imagination, she kept thinking about the things that Stefan's jailers might be doing to him. Grimly, she gripped her mobile again, letting tears fall on it.