Home > The Compelled (The Vampire Diaries: Stefan's Diaries #6)(49)

The Compelled (The Vampire Diaries: Stefan's Diaries #6)(49)
Author: L.J. Smith

We could have parties and bal s and marry princesses from the Continent. We’d ensure that the Salvatore name would matter. That’s my plan. Come join me.”

I shook my head. For a split second, Damon looked disappointed. But it quickly passed.

“Probably for the best,” Damon said, pressing his lips into a straight line. “I wouldn’t want you cramping my style.” I held out my hand for Damon to shake, but he ignored the gesture.

“Maybe in 1913,” I teased. Damon jammed his hands in his pocket and turned away without responding.

I watched his figure retreat down the pier, and then, when he was only a speck in the distance, I lifted my eyes to the horizon. The sun was sinking slowly. I glanced at the ships rocking in the sea, trying to decide which one to take.

My stomach rumbled, but I ignored it. There would be plenty of rats aboard whatever steamer I chose. I could live on rodents. It would be penance, and it would feel good after so much temptation. I’d taken money from the house, so I wouldn’t have to worry about paying my fare. I wouldn’t need to rely on compulsion. I wanted to start my next chapter with a clean slate. I would live a simple, and welcome, existence.

Cora’s steamer lurched away, chugging toward the horizon. People on the deck blew kisses at the crowds that had congregated on the dock to wave good-bye. I tried to make out Cora, but I couldn’t see her. I waved, stil , bidding farewel to this chapter of my life as much as I was to Cora.

And then, once the ship had disappeared beyond the horizon, I turned and walked toward town, shoulders squared, head up—just another man seeking a new life far away.

EPILOGUE

In one of my schoolbooks there was a painting called The Fountain of Youth, an Edenic image of young, beautiful people in the middle of an endless party. As a child, I’d glanced at it again and again, enchanted by the idea of immortality.

Now I knew better. Immortality wasn’t idyllic or enchanting. But it was powerful.

If I had to live forever, I had to make it count. And that was why I needed to get as far away as I could from temptation—and from Damon.

So that’s why I boarded a ship bound for New Zealand. I had no idea if I’d stay for a month, a year, or a century, and I liked it that way. I liked not needing a plan. I liked only depending on myself.

And I liked the way it was so easy to slip into conversation with a stranger and no longer feel like I was hiding a horrible secret.

I was Stefan Salvatore.

I still craved blood. The desire was relentless, all-consuming, a second heartbeat pounding away in the center of my being. I wondered what it would feel like if I could just give in to my dark side, like Damon. I wondered what would have happened if Lady Alice hadn’t come and saved both of us. When it mattered, in that final moment between life and death, would I have had the self-control to break the compulsion and pull myself off him?

I didn’t think so.

And I vowed that for the rest of eternity, I’d never be in the position to find out.

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