"What, no twenty questions today?" I asked, keeping it light again.
She smiled, seeming glad that I'd broached the subject. "Do my questions bother you?"
"Not as much as your reactions do," I told her honestly, smiling in response to her smile.
"There's nothing wrong with my reactions," Bella said.
"Except to this crazy vampire that doesn't want anything to make him too happy," Jacob said.
Her mouth turned down. "Do I react badly?"
"No, that's the problem. You take everything so coolly - it's unnatural." Not one scream so far. How could that be? "It makes me wonder what you're really thinking."
Of course, everything she did or didn't do made me wonder that.
"Sorry," Bella shrugged, smiling.
"I always tell you what I'm really thinking."
"You edit."
Her teeth pressed into her lip again. She didn't seem to notice when she did this - it was an unconscious response to tension.
"Apparently," Jacob chuckled, noticing that Bella was doing that at the moment.
"Not very much."
Just those words were enough to have my curiosity raging. What did she purposefully keep from me?
Bella rolled her eyes... purposefully keep from him...
"Enough to drive me insane," I said.
She hesitated, and then whispered, "You don't want to hear it."
I had to think for a moment, run through our entire conversation last night, word for word, before I made the connection. Perhaps it took so much concentration because I couldn't imagine anything that I wouldn't want her to say to me. And then - because the tone of her voice was the same as last night; there was suddenly pain there again - I remembered. Once, I had asked her not to speak her thoughts. Never say that, I'd all but snarled at her. I had made her cry...
Was this what she kept from me? The depth of her feelings about me? That my being a monster didn't matter to her, and that she thought it was too late for her to change her mind?
Well, that was entirely possible, Bella thought to herself.
I was unable to speak, because the joy and pain were too strong for words, the conflict between them too wild to allow for a coherent response. It was silent in the car except for the steady rhythms of her heart and lungs.
"Where's the rest of your family?" she asked suddenly.
"Always worrying about everyone else," Jacob said.
I took a deep breath - registering the scent in the car with true pain for the first time; I was getting used to this, I realized with satisfaction - and forced myself to be casual again.
"Well, that's really good to know," Jacob said.
"They took Rosalie's car." I parked in the open spot next to the car in question. I hid my smile as I watched her eyes widen. "Ostentatious, isn't it?"
"Um, wow. If she has that, why does she ride with you?"
Rosalie would have enjoyed Bella's reaction...if she were being objective about Bella, which probably wouldn't happen.
"Like I said, it's ostentatious. We try to blend in."
"You don't succeed," she told me, and then she laughed a carefree laugh.
The blithe, wholly untroubled sound of her laughter warmed my hollow chest even as it made my head swim with doubt.
"Oh come on, man... just join in with the laugh and be happy," Jacob said.
"So why did Rosalie drive today if it's more conspicuous?" she wondered.
"Hadn't you noticed? I'm breaking all the rules now."
My answer should have been mildly frightening - so, of course, Bella smiled at it.
"Of course," Jacob chuckled as Bella made a face.
She didn't wait for me to open her door, just like last night. I had to feign normality here at school - so I couldn't move fast enough to prevent this - but she was just going to have to get used to being treated with more courtesy, and get used to it soon.
"I already said I would," Bella said.
I walked as close to her as I dared, watching carefully for any sign that my proximity upset her. Twice her hand twitched toward me and then she would snatch it back. It looked like she wanted to touch me... My breath sped.
Jacob snickered at this. It was just funny to think of someone that was a hundred years old not even knowing how to handle almost holding hands.
"Why do you have cars like that at all? If you're looking for privacy?" she asked as we walked.
"An indulgence," I admitted. "We all like to drive fast."
"Figures," she mumbled, her tone sour.
She didn't look up to see my answering grin.
Nuh-uh! I don't believe this! How the hell did Bella pull this off? I don't get it! Why?
"Hmm... it seems like you might have been noticed," Jacob chuckled.
"You think?" Bella groaned; she was sure she was going to be grilled by Jessica.
Jessica's mental boggling interrupted my thoughts. She was waiting for Bella, taking refuge from the rain under the edge of the cafeteria's roof, with Bella's winter jacket over her arm. Her eyes were wide with disbelief.
Bella noticed her, too, in the next moment. A faint pink touched her cheek when Bella registered Jessica's expression. The thoughts in Jessica's head were fairly clear on her face.
"Ah, now Jessica is trying to imitate your expression," Jacob chuckled.
"Hey, Jessica. Thanks for remembering," Bella greeted her. She reached out for the jacket and Jessica handed it to her wordlessly.
I should be polite to Bella's friends, whether they were good friends or not.
"Good morning, Jessica."
Whoa...
"Hm..." Bella said, thinking that it might be better if Edward wasn't so nice to her friends.