Again, royally fucked.
As I contemplate what to do, footsteps sound down the hall outside of my place. Alert, Ryder and I reach for our guns as the footsteps become heavier, closer. With our attentions pinned on the entryway, we aim our weapons at the front door, silent, ready, as the hinge creaks open.
“Whoa!” Lee’s arms shoot heavenward as he cautiously steps through the doorway. “What the fuck?”
“Speak of the devil,” I mumble, setting my shotgun back down.
“Ever hear of knocking, asshole?” Ryder pockets his weapon as he approaches Lee, yanking him into my condo by the collar of his sweatshirt. “You know shit’s hot right now. You should’ve called before you came up.”
“Fuck you, bro,” Lee spits. “I didn’t call because I have no idea how hot shit is. No one tells me dick. All I was told was to wait downstairs with the girls. So let me repeat it for you in case you missed it the first time: fuck you, Ashcroft.” He straightens his collar, his expression no less heated as he pushes past Ryder, making himself comfortable on the bar stool next to me.
Ryder grits his teeth, but I shake my head, warning him not to take it any further. “You left the girls alone downstairs?”
“No, I told them to take your Hummer back to their dorm and stay put until one of us says otherwise.” A pause followed by an agitated sigh as his attention shifts between me and Ryder. “Now, would either of you douchebags like to let me know what the fuck’s going on?” He concentrates his attention on me, something akin to begging in his tone. “I’m being serious, man. You might think I’m some dumbass surfer from the West Coast, but I’m not. I’ve been in this game as long as you have, and I knew, just knew, something was up from the second you two got back from your last pickup. If I’m in this with you guys, really in it, then I need to be told everything. Not be the asshole you hide serious shit from. It’s not right.”
I contemplate his words. Still, I can’t bring myself to tell him. If I do, I leave him wide open to fuck me down the road. I decide to tell him the bare minimum, enough to let him know to stay alert, enough to keep him and Madeline out of danger.
“All I can say is some crazy shit went down,” I start, feeling somewhat bad for not telling him the whole truth, but not bad enough to let him in on everything. “And because of it, heat’s about to come our way. Bad heat, the worst kind. We need to keep our eyes open, watch our backs. More importantly, the girls’.” I take a breath, my demeanor collected though I’m anything but. I hate doing this, keeping him in the dark, but trust can only go so far under circumstances such as this. “Don’t ask me anything more about what happened, because I have no intention of telling you about it. You know all you need to know, bro. Ryder and I will take care of the rest. I need you to trust me on that. Cool?”
Lee stares blankly at me, the fight in his eyes flickering out as he rises. Expression a bed of betrayal, he nods, his shoulders slumped as he nears my front door. He grabs the knob, the fire in his eyes making a resurgence as he casts me a glare from over his shoulder. “I’ll trust you for now, Cunningham. Even though you’ve always treated me second-best to Ryder, you’ve never failed at taking care of me when shit’s gotten crazy, always made sure I was okay. But I’m warning you, if anything happens to Madeline because of some stupid shit you fucked up playing this game, I swear to my fucking life, I’ll . . .” He trails off, his words dying on his tongue as he shakes his head in defeat and walks out of my condo.
He doesn’t need to finish his sentence. I get him, hear him loud and clear. No matter how any of this ends, everyone’s blood is on my hands, my split-second decision to kill a man coming back to haunt me in more ways than I could’ve ever imagined. Feeling emotionally vacant, a sellout at his finest, I pull in a deep breath, my main concern transitioning to the most important person in my life.
Amber.
I lift my chin to Ryder, looking to get out of here and over to her dorm as soon as possible. “Can you give me a ride to the girls’ place?”
• • •
The lie I told the maintenance man about losing my keys and having to jimmy my door open was easy. However, the ride over to the girls’ dorm has been the exact opposite. Ryder and I have barely talked, the unrelenting awkwardness between us a jackhammer to my head. I take that back. We’ve talked, having gone over our plan of attack concerning Derick and what measures we’re going to take as far as making sure Amber’s out of harm’s way. We even agreed to keep what’s really going on from her in an effort to keep her from bugging the fuck out with worry.
But we haven’t tackled what’s really hanging in the air above us—the elephant in the room, if you will.
Last night. The way he stepped over invisible boundaries. Boundaries I should’ve set but didn’t. I shake my head, pissed off for letting it go as far as I did, for not stopping it the second it started. Not knowing who to blame, I turn to him, my eyes trained on his as he kills the engine in front of Hadley’s main building. He knows where I’m about to go, can see the anger on my face.
“Just say it,” Ryder lets out through a heavy sigh. “There’s more bothering you than what went down today. Obviously it has to do with me and Amber, so just get it the fuck over with.”
“You’re correct,” I answer, my tone matching his aggravation. “It is about you and Amber. It’s not happening again, bro. Ever. I should have never let it happen in the first place.”