CHAPTER ONE
Shannon hung up the phone and squealed, her voice ringing through the apartment.
“Did someone die, or win the lottery?” Brynn yelled from the other room. Shannon fairly skipped down the hallway to poke her head into her roommate’s bedroom. Brynn was laying in bed, her earphones tugged down around her neck and her linear algebra textbook propped up on her knees.
“Jason did. Not died, won the lottery. He called in and got tickets to Wilder Side! The concert is this week in LA!”
Brynn’s eyebrows raised slightly. Some people might think that she was unimpressed, but Shannon knew that for her, this indicated extreme excitement.
“That’s that boy rock band thing, right?”
“Yeah, Wilder Side.”
“You’ve been calling like every morning,” Brynn said.
“And now all of my hard work has paid off,” Shannon said. She plopped herself on the end of Brynn’s bed. “Backstage passes; can you believe it?”
“So Jason’s taking you?”
“Hell yeah! Who else would he take?”
“I don’t know, I thought he had a boyfriend.” Brynn’s eyebrows furrowed as she examined a problem in her textbook and scribbled something down in her notes.
“No, they broke up over summer break, remember?”
“Right, right.”
Shannon reached over and stole Brynn’s paper away.
“Um, hello, Shannon, I have to get this homework done,” Brynn said. Shannon had one more semester left in her art major – photography, to be precise – and Brynn was studying math. As different as they were, they got along impeccably as roommates.
“Um, hello, you have to be at least a little excited for me first,” Shannon said. “It’s Alex Wilder!”
Brynn rolled her eyes.
“Oh my god,” Brynn said, her voice taking on the inflection of a California valley girl. “That is like, so hella awesome and stuff. Alex Wilde is like, totally the hottest.”
“Thank you,” Shannon said, smiling as she handed Brynn her homework back. “It’s Alex Wilder. And yes, he totally is the hottest.”
“Okay, okay,” Brynn said, slipping her headphones back over her head. “Tell him hi for me.”
“I will,” Shannon said. “But now I have to go shopping and buy the hottest dress ever so that I can get with the hottest rock star ever.”
“Mmmhmm, congratulations,” Brynn said, already absorbed in her homework. Shannon hopped off of the bed and Brynn pulled her headphones away from one ear. “Oh, and there’s some everything bagels in the fridge if you want.”
“Thanks,” Shannon said. She walked all the way down to the kitchen before stopping in the middle of the doorway. What was she doing? She couldn’t eat carbs right before going dress shopping for a dress that Alex Wilder was going to see her in. But everything-bagels sounded so good. She hesitated at the entrance of the kitchen, torn over the decision. Bagels. Alex Wilder. Bagels. Alex. Bagels. Alex.
“Come on Shannon,” she said softly to herself. She turned on her heel and walked away, casting one mournful gaze behind her towards the kitchen. The bagels seemed to be whispering her name, like sirens luring her in towards the coast to be cast upon the sharp rocks.
“Come on Shannon,” she said again, picking up her purse from the counter with a newfound determination. “Alex Wilder is waiting for you.”
***
Jason met her at the door and they both let out simultaneous screams of joy.
“I still can’t believe it. Can you believe it?” Jason said.
“I can’t believe it. Can you believe it?”
“It’s like a dream come true.” Jason held his hands over his heart in a swooning pose. “Alex Wilder. Motherf**king Wilder Side. Insane, absolutely insane.”
“Okay, let’s get this show on the road,” Shannon said. “We don’t have very much time to turn ourselves into divas.”
“I was going to go for the grunge groupie look,” Jason said. “You know, ratty jeans and unwashed hair.”
“Sounds irresistible.” Shannon rolled her eyes at him.
“Yeah, well, you don’t know how Alex likes his groupies,” Jason said.
“I’m sure he’s all about the hobo chic.”
“Okay, okay, you win. Let’s go to the mall,” Jason said. “I’ll drive.”
“Thanks, darling,” Shannon said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. They walked to his car and he graciously opened the door for her. She graciously accepted.
Sitting down in the passenger seat, she felt a flutter of nervousness pass through her body. They were going to actually see Wilder Side and get to go backstage. They might even get to talk with Alex Wilder himself. It was exciting and nervewracking at the same time.
“Girl, we are gonna get DONE UP,” Jason said, plopping his lanky frame behind the steering wheel. He turned the ignition and revved the motor. “Gentlemen, start your engines!”
Shannon felt her nervousness fade away. Jason had a natural talent for friendship, and she could never feel anxious when he was around. And they were really going to see Wilder Side! She couldn’t believe it.
“Woooohoooo!!!” Shannon screamed out the window as they drove off. “Wilder Side, here we come!!”
At the mall, Shannon felt completely at sea. Jason pulled off every dress from the rack for her to try out and pushed her into the dressing room.
“You can’t be serious,” Shannon said, after trying on the first dress.
“Let me see.”
“You do not want to see this.”
“Now I really want to see.”
“Noooooooo,” Shannon said.
“Yessssssss...”
Shannon walked out of the dressing room, her hands on her hips.
“I look like a hot dog,” she said.
Jason burst out laughing.
“You are so right.”
Shannon looked into the full-length mirror. She did look like a hot dog. The dress was pink, made out of the clingiest fabric known to man, and it accentuated every unsightly bulge on her body.
“Ugh,” Shannon said, turning to see her butt. The dress somehow managed to make her ass look like it had ripples in it.
“Honestly, I think you look more like a sausage than a hot dog,” Jason said, his hand stroking an invisible beard. “A Toulouse saucisse.” Shannon punched him in the arm lightly.
“Well, we know what dress I’m not getting.”
“An inauspicious beginning,” Jason said. “But don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll find something.”
“Don’t give me anything else pink,” Shannon said. “I don’t think Alex Wilder likes hot dogs.” She closed the dressing room door behind her. The sausage dress could not come off fast enough.
One by one they went through the selection, but nothing seemed to work. Despite Jason’s attempts to make light of the situation, Shannon grew more and more desperate. It seemed like every dress was tailor made to accent some horrible part of her body. One sequined dress fit nicely at her waist but pinched like hell around her shoulders, causing her arm fat to bulge out of the sleeves. Another silky green dress was way too tight on her bust. Most of the slinky dresses had too-small hems that rode up her thighs, and anything that fit her ample bust and waist seemed to be designed to look frumpy.
She tried on one dress that seemed perfect at first. It was sexy but not too sexy, a nice satin A-line. Then she walked out of the dressing room and twirled around in front of Jason, and both of her boobs popped out of the top. Mortified, she covered herself with one arm and ran back into the dressing room.
“I like that one,” Jason called out to her.
“Arggh!”
“What, you don’t think Alex Wilder will want to see your beautiful chumbawambas?”
“Not during the show!” Shannon cried. “And don’t call my girls chumbawambas.”
“Your bazonkas?”
“No.”
“Your knockers?”
“No.”
“Airbags? Chachas? Jugs?”
“No!” Shannon poked her head out of the dressing room. “Besides, I thought you didn’t like boobs.”
“Your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,” Jason said solemnly. “Even the g*y ones.”
“Oh hush,” Shannon said, giggling. “I can’t have my ta-tas popping out at a rock concert.”
“Why not? I think it’s a good look for you.”
“Are there any dresses I haven’t tried?”
“I think there might be more on the clearance rack,” Jason said. “Want me to go get them?”
“Yes please,” Shannon said. She sighed. “I’m sorry you have to put up with all this.”
“Girl, shopping with you is not something to put up with.” Jason leaned down and kissed her on the nose. “Stop being so down on your fine self.”
“Thanks, Jason.” Shannon closed the dressing room door to wait for him. She stuck her tongue out at the mirror. If they didn’t find anything that fit her, she would just have to go to the concert nak*d. That would get Alex Wilder’s attention. She laughed at the thought.
“Here you go,” Jason said, throwing a dress over the dressing room door. “One left in your size.”
Only one in her size. Of course. Frowning, Shannon pulled the black dress off of the hanger.
“This looks way too tight,” Shannon said.
“Just try it,” Jason called through the door. “It can’t be worse than the hot dog dress.”
Shannon pulled the dress over her head. To her surprise, the fabric was clingy but not pinching at her hips. She examined herself in the mirror. Not bad.
“Well? How does it look?”
Shannon opened the dressing room door and Jason gasped.
“Oh. My. God.”
“It looks okay, right?” Shannon tugged at the hem. “I think it’s a bit short.”
“It’s perfect. Come here, look in the full-length mirror.”
Shannon let herself be tugged over to the mirror, and she was surprised at what she saw. The dressing room light hadn’t illuminated the dress well from above, and now when she moved she saw that the fabric had a slight metallic sheen that sparkled in the light. The neckline was draped, scooping just low enough to show a hint of cl**vage, and the fabric was ruched just above the waist at the right side.
Turning around, Shannon saw that the satiny fabric flowed over her curvy h*ps and pulled inwards, creating a nice hourglass silhouette. She had to admit, it fit her well.
“You look stunning,” Jason said.
“I don’t know if I would go that far.”
“Stunning,” Jason insisted. “We’re getting it.”
“Okay,” Shannon said. “I like it.”
“I love it,” Jason said. “And you know what else I love?”
“What?”
“Shoe shopping. Get dressed and let’s go find something that will match.”