He lowers his dark blue eyes to the phone that’s lying on the bed just as another text comes through. I know that this time, it’s probably Cal messaging me with Heidi’s number, but right now that’s the furthest thing from my mind.
“Did you lie to me?” I ask, coming to my feet. I take a tentative step toward him and then another, feeling my heart race faster and faster with each movement. Once my bare toes hit the toe of Wyatt’s boot, I straighten my back. “Did you f**k Terra?”
Drawing his eyebrows together, he pinches his bottom lip. I never let my gaze fall, even though I want to. At last he swallows hard, giving me a brisk nod. “Yeah, I did.”
I feel like something collides into my chest, and I rub my forearm back and forth over the center, hoping it will lessen the pain. It doesn’t. “And you’ve done it again since we came here? Since you and I’ve been together like this.”
Sucking in his upper lip, he shakes his head vigorously. “Absolutely not.”
“Then why not just tell me when I asked? Why make it a big secret?”
“Because you said her name—”
My nostrils flare, and I hold up my hand. “Like what? Like I wanted to choke her? Who gives a damn how I said her name. All I wanted is for you to tell me the truth, to be straight with me. I can handle everything else, Wyatt.” My shoulders begin to shake, and I drop my gaze to my bare feet. “When?” I ask.
“What?” he asks, his deep voice breaking.
“When did you do it?”
“Kylie, please.” He holds out his hands, like he wants to touch me, but I shove them away. I ignore the dull pain in my ring finger as I wait for him to answer me. When I release a sob, he exhales. “Why would you want to put yourself through that? Why does it even matter now?”
Of course he doesn’t understand. Maybe he never will. I take a few steps backward. “Because. You. Lied.”
He drags his hand over his face and releases a strangled noise from the back of his throat. “The end of last year.”
I press myself against the wall for support. “Let me guess, it was a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving, huh?” His expression is blank, and I immediately realize that I’ve called it accurately. Clenching my teeth, I shake my head to each side. “You can’t keep your dick in your pants to save your life, can you?”
Flushing, he takes a step toward me. “You push me away at every turn. You told me you wanted to see other people. What the—”
“You’re right,” I say, nodding my head. “You’re absolutely right. But if you still want to know why I stopped calling you after Thanksgiving, there, you’ve got your answer. I thought—” I pause and take a deep breath. “I guess you were too busy f**king Terra when I needed you.”
This time when he reaches out to touch me, he succeeds. He draws me to his chest, not seeming to care about the pain it might cause to the area where he got the bluebird tattoo last night. “What did you think, Ky?” he demands.
Since we’re laying it all out on the table tonight, I glare up at him. “I thought I was pregnant. I thought that I was going to have a kid with someone who can’t even say he loves me, and I panicked.”
His grip tightens on the small of my back. “You’re not, are you?” The tone of his voice is low and dangerous, and I know he’s thinking of all the partying we’ve done over the past few days. “Are you?” he says more urgently, and I shake my head.
“Do you really think I’m that stupid and selfish?” I demand. I close my eyes, squeezing them so tight the tears have no other choice but to stay put. He releases a long exhale, but when I speak a moment later, he loses his breath again. “Wyatt . . . I really can’t do this anymore.”
He clenches his jaw. “Yes, you can. I f**ked up, I know that I did, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix ourselves.” He touches his forehead to mine, but I pull away from him, pressing my back to the wall again.
“I’ve done exactly what I told you I’d do. I came here with you. I let you remind me of our past, the good and the bad. But, Wyatt, I just can’t anymore.” Each word takes an excruciating amount of effort, and I know that if we don’t end this soon, I’m going to be sick to my stomach.
“We can fix this, Ky,” he says, but I shake my head again, wiping tears from my eyes.
“We’ve been doing this for so long,” I whisper. “After Brenna and my ex and so much bullshit, it’s amazing we haven’t just given up on each other years ago. Don’t you see it? If we haven’t fixed ourselves by now, how the hell do you think we can now?”
“I refuse to believe that.” He’s breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling against mine. “I love you, Kylie.”
The sob that I’ve been so successfully holding back finally makes its way past my throat, and I gasp. I lower my head, shaking it slowly as my shoulders tremble. He’s dealt me the most painful blow of all, and surely he must know that because he backs away from me slowly. When I manage to lift my gaze the agony in his blue eyes matches the sting spreading across my chest, consuming me.
“Fuck, I mean, you had to have known that already,” he says hoarsely.
I press my hand to my chest for a moment, pushing hard as if it will stop my heart from beating so fast. As if doing so will keep me from crumbling apart. Once I’ve managed to stop the tears, I say, “I have waited so goddamn long to hear you say that, and now that I have . . . it just hurts.”