It hurts because of all times to tell me that he loves me he picks the one moment where losing me is a certainty.
Closing his eyes, he wrings his strong hands together. “That’s not my intention.”
“If you say so, Wyatt,” I say in a detached voice. Rubbing the heel of my palm over my eyes to wipe away the rest of my tears, I take a deep breath. “Your show starts soon.”
“It can wait.”
I think back to the day I asked him if he planned on leaving Your Toxic Sequel, and my vision blurs. “Did you lie about that, too? About quitting YTS?” His lowered gaze and silence is all the answer I need. “God, Wyatt . . .”
“I’m not,” he argues. He eases down on the edge of the bed, darting his blue eyes over to where I still stand clutching the wall. “Things were going shitty, okay? Lucas is a dick and Sinjin’s always f**ked up. Cal and I were both thinking about bailing last year, but we changed our mind, okay? When Hazard Anthem called us about doing these shows, I figured we owed them one for leaving them high and dry.”
I fold my arms over my chest, giving him a tight smile. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I get it. It’s a business.” I’m not going to argue with him anymore. There’s no point because I already know that I’ll have to leave.
“Will you be here when I get back tonight?” His eyes are pleading, and I have difficulty speaking past the pain in the back of my throat.
“You already know I won’t.”
“God, Kylie. Don’t do this,” he pleads. “I’m sorry.”
“Have a good show, Wyatt,” I say softly, turning away from him. I feel like there are weights tied to my shoulders as I walk into the bathroom. I close the door behind me, lean my head against it, and start counting as I wait for him to leave.
I hear the door to our room slam shut when I reach 150, and I press my fist to my mouth as sobs shake my entire body. I’m packing and crying when Heidi shows up at my door an hour later. Her grin quickly fades as soon as I draw the door open. She doesn’t ask questions. She doesn’t try to give me advice. She simply yanks me to her, wrapping her thin arms around me.
“Is that ride back home still on the table?” I whisper.
She nods against my shoulder. “For you, babe, anything.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Heidi manages to get a rental car from the airport in record time. We arrive in Los Angeles before the sun even rises the next morning, and I spend the rest of my weekend alone, leaving my apartment only once to go to the market around the corner. It’s not as if I’m in a catatonic state—I’m a seasoned pro at dealing with this type of bullshit—but the last thing I want is to bring someone else’s mood down with my moping.
Later that night, I make plans with Heidi to take me to the DMV office first thing tomorrow morning, and when my doorbell rings at 7:30 AM on the dot, I’m already dressed. Brushing the tangles out of my black and blue hair, I fling the door open, shocked when I see my brother standing on the other side holding a box from my favorite bakery.
“I didn’t realize you knew where I lived,” I say sarcastically, ignoring the way my stomach growls as I step backward to let him inside. Ducking his head because he’s so damn tall, he comes through the doorway and makes a face at me.
“Don’t look so f**king happy to see me next time.” He follows me into my den. “Brought you your favorite,” he says as he slams down in the chair at my computer desk, setting the box beside of my laptop.
“Heidi’s taking me to the DMV to get a new license in a little, so can you make this quick?”
He grabs my phone from the desk, rolling the chair forward until he stops right in front of me. “Call her and cancel.”
I take the phone, but instead of making the call, I cross my arms over my chest. “Lucas, I take my job very, very seriously, but it’s impossible for me to drive your ass around if I don’t have a license.”
“Cute,” he says, dragging his lips up into a strained smile. “But I’m here to take you to the DMV myself.”
I’m momentarily stunned. Being up so early is typical for my brother—he works out for a couple hours every morning—but for some reason, he’s taken it upon himself to visit me. And offer to help me complete a tedious task that I don’t even want to do myself. Cocking my head to the side, I pull my eyebrows together. “Dude, you’re scaring the shit out of me. Is everything alright?”
His smile suddenly becomes more forced, and he leans forward, supporting his arms on his thighs. “Abso-fucking-lutely not, Kylie. I’ve made a mess of things.”
Taking the bakery box off the desk, I go to the other side of the small room and sit down on my couch. There are half a dozen glazed doughnuts in the box, and I sigh, inhaling their sweet scent. I eat two before I ask him about Sienna. “Have you talked to her?”
He squeezes his hazel eyes closed and shakes his head, dragging one of his hands through his shaggy dark hair. “You know better than I do that she’s already changed her number.”
I nod my head in acknowledgment and swallow hard, nearly choking on a piece of my doughnut. “Did you try to call her before she changed her number?”
“No. What the f**k would I say?”
“Sorry is a start.”
He snorts. “Sorry doesn’t even begin to cover what I did to her, Kylie.” Sitting upright he checks his watch before giving me a pointed look. “DMV opens in twenty minutes. Let’s not bullshit so we don’t have to stick around all day.”