I put on the dress and look at myself in the mirror. My hair is up and my sandals are on my feet. I've tied my midshipman's neckerchief around my throat, and with the ends hanging down in back it covers up the welt across my neck and looks right elegant, and hey, I'm a middie, too.
The dress fits perfectly, as well it should, since I've had it on and off a dozen times adjusting the fit. The skirt hangs nicely, not too full, and the middle fits good and snug around my ribs, and my chest sits up all jaunty in the top part.
There's one bell in the second dog watch and a knock on the door. It's time for dinner.
I resolve to be merry.
They are all at table when I enter, and they all rise. I rather like that. Or most rise, anyway. Some of the midshipmen almost faint back into their seats. I can see they've already been into the wine as their faces are flushed. Mr. Lawrence casts his eyes to the ceiling and smiles slightly and pulls out a chair for me. I'm seated between him and Major Piggott. Always a Marine by my side.
Mr. Lawrence is the senior officer present. The First Mate is off dining with the Captain. It would be asking too much for them to be here.
I'm seated across from Jaimy. I hope he's pleased with how I look. I think he is. He does look a bit stunned, though, but then, they all do.
"Good evening, gentlemen," I purrs. "I thank you very much for your kind invitation." I have been coached by the Deacon.
"It is our pleasure, Miss Faber," says Mr. Lawrence. "Steward, a glass of wine for the lady. Oh, and a shawl for Miss Faber, too. There's one in my cabin."
The steward pours out the wine in a crystal goblet and I pick it up.
"Mr. Fletcher, will you give us the King?" says Mr. Lawrence.
They all stand and pick up their glasses and hold them out in front of them. I go to stand, too, but Mr. Lawrence very gently puts his fingertip on my shoulder to keep me down.
"The King!" Jaimy manages to get out and they all repeat, "The King!" Then they drink down their wine and sit and go back to staring at me.
Mr. Lawrence turns to me. "I perceive that you might be a bit chilly, my dear, as this is, after all, the coast of New England and not the sunny shores of the Caribbean. And I know that our midshipmen share my concern to the degree that they will be unable to speak or eat until you are made more comfortable. Isn't that true, gentlemen?"
Less than enthusiastic murmurs of assent, but the shawl is brought nonetheless and placed around my shoulders. It is a very nice shawl and I thank Mr. Lawrence for his kindness.
"It is a present for my wife. Do you think she will like it?"
I reply that I'm sure she will, Sir, but think to myself that he'd best not tell her that Bloody Jack Faber was first to wear it, or his homecoming might not be all he hopes it to be.
I lift my glass to my lips and gaze across the rim at Jaimy, and as he looks at me my eyes start brimming up 'cause I know the ship's leavin' right after they drop me off tomorrow and I thought maybe they'd stay around for at least a little while, but no, and everything else in the room falls away and...
But then they bring in the food and we fall to.
It is a most glorious dinner, and at the end there is laughter and talk and toasts all around, and when it is time for me to leave, I stand and lift my glass and say, "A toast to the newest member of your company, James Emerson Fletcher, by the grace of God, Midshipman of the Line of Battle, His Majesty's Royal Navy!"
Cries of Hear, hear, and the toast is drunk, and then my eyes start to fill up again and my lip starts quiverin', and Mr. Lawrence notices, so he stands and raises his glass and says, "To Jacky Faber, the fairest midshipman and saltiest sailor ever to grace the decks of the Dolphin!"
Cheers, and then my Marine leads me back to the brig.
Jaimy comes to me later, after all are asleep. I rise from my bed and go to the grating and reach up my hand and we whisper far into the night.
At last he must go on watch and there's nothing more to say.
"Good-bye, Jaimy."
"Good-bye, Jacky."
"Come back and find me, Jaimy, and take me away."
"I will, Jacky. I will."
* * *
Boston
My sea chest has been taken ashore. It will only be a few minutes now and I wait for my Marine to come fetch me.
I hear from the shouts and bustle and laughter outside that they are going to man the top for me and they'll all be lined up along the spars and in the tops and Jaimy'll be one of the sideboys on the quarterdeck and I'll have to go right by him and the word is that the fightin's started back up with France again and they're leavin' straightaway and they'll be right in the thick of it and oh Lord... And there'll be a coach on the dock and I'll have to get in it and it'll pull away from the dock....
Ah lads, I don' wan' to go.
No. No. Steady on. I've got to put on a good show and not start bawlin' and shame myself 'cause salty sea sailors don't cry and I knows right now from the constrictin' o' me throat that I ain't gonna be able to do it but I got to try.
Jacky. It's time.
Come on, girl. Up the ladder and out now. Head high, flags flyin', that's the way we does it, but I knows it ain't gonna wash 'cause I'm half blubberin' already and I knows that soon's I steps out they'll be hollerin' Hooray, Jacky, and Give 'em Hell, Jackeroe, and yes, Bloody Jack, too, and I'll see Tink and Davy and Willy and Liam, and they'll have to pry me off Jaimy whose face I may never see no more—Dear God, please—and I'll try to be brave but I never was really very brave...