MR. HARLOW: He did write an essay about you, Nanette. But the rest is a fabrication. I never agreed to send you a letter. Alex, well, he seemed to have a problem holding on to reality.
NANETTE: So Alex lied to Nanette?
MR. HARLOW: I’m not sure it’s that simple. I’m not sure Alex ever thought that you would receive that letter. I don’t think he planned on dying.
NANETTE: He gave Nanette a bag of poetry for Christmas. There was a poem about climbing.
MR. HARLOW: The Spider-Man one.
NANETTE: You read it?
MR. HARLOW: I read all of Alex’s poetry. I was his adviser, so he had to submit all his work to me. We have a self-selected curriculum here. Alex was passionate about poetry.
NANETTE: Why didn’t you do anything about his climbing?
MR. HARLOW: I actually did. Had the windows in his room bolted shut.
NANETTE: You did? Seriously?
MR. HARLOW: Yes. Alex didn’t like that at all.
NANETTE: Then how did he get out?
MR. HARLOW: He barricaded his door and smashed the window with his chair. The monitors on duty heard it and busted into his room. They were yelling up at him when he fell. He probably fell because we bolted the window shut. Ironically. If he had simply kept climbing without anyone knowing, maybe he’d still be here. I don’t know.
NANETTE: So do you feel guilty?
MR. HARLOW: I’m sad about it, but no. Alex knew he was forcing my hand when he showed me that poem. He knew I’d have his windows bolted shut. I only did my job.
NANETTE: Nanette felt like maybe Alex’s death was her fault because she read the poem and did nothing.
MR. HARLOW: It wasn’t your fault. Definitely not. Have you read any of Sophocles’s plays in school? His tragedies?
NANETTE: No.
MR. HARLOW: Alex and I had just read Antigone. He wrote an essay comparing you to Antigone. He really admired your quitting the soccer team. Antigone—as you will see when you read the play—was a woman who wouldn’t yield to men. She did what she thought was right. And I admire Antigone a great deal. But the play is largely about pride and what happens when people are stubborn—refuse to bend. It ends in tragedy, as tragedies often do. Alex didn’t get that you have to bend every once in a while.
NANETTE: So are you saying that Alex’s life was a tragedy?
MR. HARLOW: It ended tragically. He was very stubborn. Which is why he ended up here.
NANETTE: Do you think Alex’s death could be Nanette’s fault in any way, shape, or form?
MR. HARLOW: Of course not. Alex made choices. A man, though wise, should never be ashamed of learning more, and must unbend his mind. That’s a quote from Antigone. Alex and I discussed it at length. He didn’t understand what unbending a mind means.
NANETTE: You tried to teach him. But he didn’t listen to you.
MR. HARLOW: He was listening in his own way, I think, but he didn’t give himself enough time to figure it all out.
NANETTE: What do you mean?
MR. HARLOW: He was impulsive. He didn’t think things through. He just did what he felt he had to right away. I’ve worked with thousands of boys over the years. Being stubborn is a pretty common characteristic around here.
NANETTE: Thanks for your time.
MR. HARLOW: You were a good friend to Alex.
NANETTE: Will you send Nanette the essay Alex wrote about Antigone and her?
MR. HARLOW: No. Sorry, I can’t do that. He didn’t give me his permission. And now he can’t.
NANETTE: Did he write something awful in his essay that you don’t want Nanette to see?
MR. HARLOW: No.
NANETTE: Really?
MR. HARLOW: Alex told me about the third-person thing. Very interesting. Not many teenagers could pull it off for so long—commit to it with such sincerity. I admire that and I may use the technique here with some of my students. A different perspective is a very useful tool. Maybe it will help them.
NANETTE: Okay.
MR. HARLOW: I’m sorry, Nanette. I hope you will be able to move on in time.
NANETTE: Nanette needs to flip it around.
MR. HARLOW: Flip it around?
NANETTE: Thank you again. Good-bye.
MR. HARLOW: What do you—
Nanette hangs up the phone—then she immediately downloads and reads Antigone.
She admires Antigone, who buried her dead brother even when it was made illegal to do so.
The play helps Nanette understand why most people conform—do what they are told. You must sometimes pay a high price for individuality, especially if you are a woman.
Alex paid a high price for individuality.
But you also pay a high price when you order people to do things that they can’t do—especially people with a strong sense of self, people with rebel personalities.
Nanette thinks it is ironic that Alex was reading such a play in reform school, where he was supposed to do everything he was told. It makes her wonder about Mr. Harlow. Alex was definitely going to side with the Antigones of the world and never the Creons.
29
The Shaved Hollows of Their Teenage Armpits
“Hey,” Nanette hears. She’s in her bedroom listening to her “Alex Mix,” mostly Lightspeed Champion and Los Campesinos! It’s not so much that she misses Alex—it’s that she doesn’t want to forget him. And she’s reading Oedipus the King by Sophocles, too, thinking about fate, when she looks up and sees Shannon standing in her bedroom doorframe. “Your parents invited me over. They said you’re not doing so well lately?”
Nanette studies Shannon. She’s in heavy makeup on a Saturday afternoon. Did she put on makeup for Nanette, or does she always wear so much?
“It’s been some time. I’ve missed you,” Shannon says. “What’s this music?”