“How old is he?”
“He just turned three last month.”
It was all so much to take in. I knew when I saw that little boy and he yelled ‘daddy’ to Sebastian that he was his son, but it didn’t really become real until just that moment when he told me everything. Bitter custody battle? Conniving ex-girlfriend? Three-year-old son? It was a lot and I wasn’t sure that I could handle it or that I even wanted to get involved with him now that I knew that he had all of this extra stuff. I could feel myself shutting off from him, my feelings becoming numb as I thought about everything he had just told me.
"Elena, I know this is a lot to take in but you have to believe me that I was going to tell you all about this on Saturday. I didn't want to tell you sooner than that because, to be honest, I didn't want to scare you away. I know it may seem like Sophia is trying to paint a picture that we are a family, but it is not true. We have a trial date set in a couple of months and we should hopefully have some resolution with our custody case.”
“Was Sophia staying at your house when I saw her last week? Because she looked pretty at home holding your son’s hand on your front stairs.”
“Yes, but she was staying in a guest room because Jaden did not want her to leave.”
Jaden didn’t want her to leave. So what was going to happen when daddy got a new girlfriend? Would Jaden always get his way? None of this was sitting well with me. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration and then looked at him.
"Sebastian, this all seems just a little bit too complicated for me right now, and it would probably be best if you sorted out your personal stuff before you tried to build a relationship with someone.”
He had kind of a panicked look on his face as he reached out and grabbed my hand, his eyes searching mine.
"Please don't say that Elena, I really want things to work out with us and plans are already in motion to get this custody case settled once and for all.”
"It sounds to me like your son wants to have his mommy and daddy under the same roof, and both of you are giving him what he wants which is what you should do. He is, after all, your child. I just think there is going to be a huge problem when he realizes that the two of you will not be together and then you’ll have a whole other layer of issues to deal with to help him get through it. I just don’t know that dating right now is the best thing for you or me. Let me ask you something, do you stay with Sophia in her house when you go to Paris for your visits every other weekend?”
“Yes, but I stay on a separate floor and I have very little interaction with her. I tried to stay in a hotel and Jaden had a fit. He couldn’t sleep so I decided the best thing was for him to feel safe and secure, so I stayed in his house so that he could be in his room.”
"I had a feeling you would say something like that. You see, that's what I'm talking about, he has control right now and neither of you can really have your own life yet.”
"It won't be like this forever Elena, I promise you. As soon as we get custody sorted out we will be making different arrangements and Jaden will just have to learn to live with it. As he gets older, it will be easier for him to understand why we are not together.”
"Yeah, as he gets older, but right now it seems to be a big problem for him and your first priority should be making sure that he is okay.”
“It is and he will be okay. Sophia and I have never been together full-time around him so when we went to see a therapist they explained that it’s a phase he is going through. I didn’t understand why all of a sudden he wanted both of us together, I thought maybe he saw something to make him think that something would happen to one of us. But the therapist assured us that this is temporary and we should continue to make Jaden feel secure and loved. That is what we are doing. I don’t want you to think that there is not room in my life for you, because there is.”
I hesitated and then look at him slowly shaking my head. "I don't know Sebastian, your life seems to be pretty complicated right now and it seems to me that you need to figure some things out before we can move on.”
He looked at me, studying me for a couple of minutes not saying anything, and then he caught me off guard.
“Do you want to be with me? Because I want to be with you Elena. I have known that since I first saw you. I have never met someone who is more perfect for me in every way than you are. You make me happy, you make me smile, I think about you constantly and I want to be with you every minute of every day. I don’t want you to think that I don’t have room in my life for you, that’s just not true.”
I didn’t know how to answer that because on one hand, of course I wanted to be with him, but on the other hand he had just dropped a pretty big bomb on me and I didn’t quite know how to deal with it. If we ended up together that would mean I would become a stepmother and I wasn’t sure that I was ready for that kind of responsibility. I had huge plans for my life and having kids was something I wanted to do later, after I opened my hotel.
“Sebastian, I think it would be best if we took some time apart so that you can take care of your personal stuff. You have a lot going on and to be honest with you I’m not sure I can handle it all.”
“Elena, please don’t say that. Don’t give up on us before we’ve had a chance to really get started.”
“I’m sorry but I really think we should just keep this relationship professional for now, that will be best for everyone.”
“What do you mean by ‘for now’?”
“I’m not sure, Sebastian, but at least for a couple of months until you’ve had a chance to sort everything out.”
“I’m going to be very clear about this, I have no desire to stop seeing you. I want you to know that I will come after you once everything is settled. You are the person that I want to be with and I couldn’t stand it if things between us ended before they had a chance to really get started. I love you, Elena.”
He looked so sad as he sat on my couch and it took everything in me not to throw my arms around him and tell him to forget everything I’d just said and that I loved him too. It was really for the best that he took care of his stuff while I had a chance to really process everything he told me. A child was a huge responsibility, one that I was not sure I was ready for. He turned sad eyes to me.