“I don't think life with you would be miserable, I just think that it would be more complicated than it had to be because of her. Maybe I would think differently if you had told me about her and Jaden from the beginning but now, I’ll never know. I do love you Sebastian, I just think that with someone like her she would do everything in her power to make our lives complicated.”
I decided to tell him how I felt instead of holding back because my heart was winning over what my head was saying. I was in love with him and I was sad that things had turned out the way they did. I kept telling myself that it wasn’t selfish of me to wish that he didn’t have a three-year-old son but whenever I looked in the mirror and thought about it, I felt like a very selfish person. At 24 years old, I just wasn’t sure if I was ready for the responsibility of someone else’s child.
He looked at me. “You said you love me.”
"Yes, but that doesn't change the situation Sebastian. I don't mean to sound so selfish but it's a lot, you have a lot of stuff, and I wish that I had known everything from the beginning.”
"Would that have changed things for you? Do you think that you wouldn't have fallen in love with me if you knew from the beginning that I had a son?”
“I don’t know, but I feel like you intentionally kept that information from me.”
"Elena, I told you before that the only reason I didn't say something sooner is because I was trying to protect everyone involved. And to be honest, I was being a little bit selfish. I liked having time with just us and I wanted you to get to know me as a person and not me as a father. On some level maybe I was afraid that if you knew about Jaden right away you wouldn’t even give me the time of day, so I was hoping that if you got to know me first you would just fall in love with him when you got to know him.”
We sat there in silence for a couple of minutes and I was just getting ready to tell him that I needed more time when my phone rang.
“Hello?”
Bev sounded frantic. “Elena, tell Mr. Blu to call his mother immediately.”
I instantly felt terrified because I could tell that something was wrong. I looked at Sebastian and held the phone out to him. "You need to call your mother, there is some sort of emergency.”
He quickly grabbed the phone and dialed her number. He was silent as he listened to her and about 20 seconds into the call all of the blood drained from his face. I could feel the panic creep up on me as I watched his ashen face that was frozen in disbelief. When he hung up the phone he sat there quietly staring at the phone.
I was afraid to ask but I knew that I had to.
“What happened?”
My words must have jarred him out of his trance because he looked at me like he didn’t know that I was in the room. His eyes began to fill with tears and I felt sick to my stomach. Something was definitely wrong.
His voice was deadpan as he slowly told me the news. “There was a train derailment in Paris and all 164 passengers were killed.” His voice broke as he uttered the next words. “Sophia was on the train.”
My stomach dropped into my feet and I got up and rushed over to him and put my arms around him. “Oh Sebastian, I’m so sorry.” As soon as the words came out, Jaden popped into my head, and to say that I was terrified to ask about him was an understatement. “Please tell me Jaden wasn’t with her.”
The tears were flowing freely as his sad eyes held mine, and he let out a deep sigh. “No, he was at home with the nanny.”
Thank God.
I gave him a tissue and gently caressed his back as I stood next to him. “What can I do to help you?”
He sat there with his head in his hands and I felt so bad for him because I could see how badly he was hurting.
“I have to get to Paris, I have to figure out how to tell Jaden his mommy won’t be coming home.” He collapsed against me, his shoulders shaking as his body was racked with sobs.
I rubbed his back trying to comfort him, my mind racing trying to figure out how I could help him.
“I will be here if you need me for anything, Sebastian.”
He looked up at me with sad eyes as he stood up. “Thanks. I should probably go make arrangements to get to Paris. Mother is going to go with me. I will be in touch.”
When he left my office I sat there shell-shocked. Sophia was dead. I couldn’t focus on anything so I just sat at my desk and stared out the window. A few minutes later I heard a light knock at my door and turned to see Bev there, with bloodshot eyes.
“Come on in Bev.” I found out a few weeks before that she had known Sebastian since he was a teenager and he thought of her as family. She was visibly upset as she sat down in my office.
“The news is awful, just awful.” I handed her a tissue to wipe away her tears. “That poor little boy will have to grow up without his mother.”
“I know, it is awful, just terrible, but the good thing is he has a father who loves him and plenty of other family who love him.”
Bev looked at me with her red eyes. “Yes, I suppose so. Elena, you might think I am crossing the line here but I have to say something. I don’t know where you two stand right now, but he is going to need you now more than ever.”
I was surprised by her words. Did Sebastian tell her about us?
“I will be as helpful as possible Bev.”
She looked at me and furrowed her brow. “I’m talking about being more than helpful Elena. Sebastian will need you. I don’t mean to stick my nose in but I have never seen him behave like this over a woman as long as I have known him. When he talks about you his whole face lights up and I have never seen him so happy. Before this tragedy, I had never seen him as sad as he has been since you called things off.”
I had to stop her because she didn’t know the whole story. “Bev, obviously you know some of what has been going on with us but there’s more and it’s complicated. Things are going to be even more complicated now with what has happened to Sophia.”
She shocked me by reaching across my desk and holding my hands. “I know dear but he will need you, and I can tell that you need him too.”
I was a little taken aback by her words and I normally would have been annoyed that someone was meddling into my personal life, but Bev was a sweet lady and I could tell that she had good intentions. I also knew that it took a lot for her to say what she was saying because she was the type of person who tried to keep things strictly professional while we were at work. So whatever Sebastian had said to her obviously had struck a chord.