“But it looks like a classic concussion. Her skull feels normal, and I don’t see any signs of swelling or bleeding. I’m going to go ahead and order a CT just to rule out anything major and make sure we’ve covered all of our bases. But more than likely she’ll be back to her old self in a few days,” he said, offering reassurance.
I nodded absently, those stark white walls started to tighten around me. It’s not the fact that he wanted a test that sent me into an instant panic attack. I understood the precaution. I was glad Dr. Matthews was taking the time to do so, and I appreciated his thoroughness. It was the way in which he said it. The exact phrasing. One sentence brought the memory back to haunt me, flooding my mind and taking over my senses.
Ethan sat down next to me on the bed. He looked at me with those dark brown eyes and a concerned, loving look. He knew I always worried about everything.
"Baby, I don't need any more tests. The doctor says they’re only migraines," he said. "The CT came back normal which rules out anything major. I don't want to fight with the insurance company to get an MRI. You know they aren't going to pay for it, so why bother?" He pulled me down onto our bed so that we were lying side by side.
"It's going to be fine. So please, stop worrying," he pleaded, leaning in to kiss me slowly, desperately trying to change the subject. He pulled away, looking at me with a devious grin plastered on his face. "Besides, we have more important things to think about right now," he whispered, looking down my body slowly and appreciatively.
"Oh, yeah? I can't think of anything," I said, faking a yawn and stretching my arms out wide. "I think I'm going to go to sleep. Night!"
I tried to keep my face steady, but I couldn’t help the grin that escaped, and before I could cover my mouth to hide it, he attacked and I squealed with laughter. He straddled my body, pinning me to the bed with his knees and trapping my wrists above my head in his tight grasp.
"Shhh! This is the first night in weeks the baby has been asleep for more than an hour, and you're going to ruin it with your squealing horse laugh!" He leaned down to kiss me, chuckling.
"I do not laugh like a horse!" I pouted.
The annoyance in my voice melted as his trailing kisses reached my neck and meandered down to my shoulder, taking the strap of my nightgown with him. He pulled my body firmly against his and slowly made his way back to my mouth, kissing me so fiercely that every other thought melted away. Tests and headaches were left in the past.
If only I had been more persistent, more demanding...taken him to more specialists...
"Are you sure the CT will be enough? Nothing will be overlooked? I asked, escaping from the memory that had held me captive. Fear was evident in my voice. I knew everything was fine, and what happened with Ethan had been rare, but the irrational panic was there nonetheless.
Maddie is not Ethan. Maddie is not going to die. I silently chanted, feeling the calm beginning to return.
I looked up at Dr. Matthews and he was watching me with concern and confusion painted all over his gorgeous face.
Awesome. Good job, Clare. Now the hot doctor thinks you’re crazy.
~Logan~
I didn’t know whether to comfort the woman in front of me or pivot and run. She seemed to be in her own world, full of pain and possibly regret, and I didn’t know who or what could bring her out of it.
It’d had been a slower night in the ER, meaning we hadn’t had many emergencies. So far that night, I had mended two broken arms, stitched up a knife wound for a local chef who’d had a bad day at work, and pulled a Lego out of a little boy's nose. I was about to lose my mind from the boredom. I hated days like these. I’d come to Richmond from one of the top trauma centers in the country. I had worked brutal hours, running from one patient to the next, never taking breaks, living on bad coffee and taking power naps on any empty hospital bed I could find. It had also given me a reason to not go home, cowardly choosing to stay at work rather than face a wife I couldn't love.
Moving here was a nice change of pace but on the slow nights it sometimes got to me. I don’t regret my decision, but sometimes I missed the rush. Luckily, not every day was like this. It was still an ER and I had my fair share of adrenaline-inducing cases, but nothing compared to the rush of what I had left behind. The larger hospital downtown took most of the serious trauma cases, but we still had enough to keep me busy. Besides, quiet is what I wanted, and what I’d asked for.
So, when I walked into this exam room, I was expecting another mundane case, considering the evening I’d had thus far.
The smell of vomit had been the first thing that hit me when I entered, and I instantly groaned. God, I hated vomit. Give me blood and guts any day. I would rather stitch up anything then walk into a room that smelled like this. I was focused on the file, trying to re-learn how to breathe through my mouth when I looked up and saw my new patient lying in a hospital bed. She looked like an angel with a head full of long strawberry blonde curls and round cherub cheeks. She looked over at me with big brown eyes, smiled faintly and I found myself having the sudden urge to bring her into my arms, assuring her everything would be just fine. Having no idea where that came from, I turned my head away from the little girl in search of her mother, and dear God, I found her. She was breathtaking. Loose, dark red curls trailed down her back showing off a slim body full of curves in all the right places. She was wearing...hmm, well I suddenly knew where the vomit smell was coming from. She must have run out of the house in a panic. My eyes traveled back up to her eyes, shit. I don't think I’d ever seen eyes so green in my life. A man could get lost in them, never able to find his way back.
She’d been looking at me, staring actually, like she was waiting for me to say something.
Oh right, I was the doctor.
I had to tell myself to stop eye f**king her and be professional.
And I had been. She introduced herself as Clare Murray. I knew that already, having read the child’s file, but it was nice to have an introduction. I’d checked out Maddie’s head, feeling...I don’t know what, when she curled into me as I examined her. I skipped over that quickly. I didn’t like to feel...anything.
I helped Maddie lay back down, covered her with a blanket, and sat at the end of the bed focusing my attention back on the beautiful woman in front of me. She was looking over at her daughter, obvious worry in her eyes.
Her worry went from slight to panicked when I mentioned the CT I’d planned for Maddie. I’d never seen someone panic so much over a simple test before. She asked if I was sure, and then it was like she was gone. Her eyes went blank and her gaze wandered down to her joined hands resting in her lap, and she just disappeared. I don’t know why, but I knew this had nothing to do with Maddie. It was too abrupt, too intense, and there was a sense of loss in her eyes. She was worried before, but below the worry I could tell she knew Maddie would be fine. She knew just as I did that it was a simple concussion that would go away on its own. Everything else we were doing was just precautionary.