“It’s good,” giving me a sideways glance and gave me his usual flirty smile. Standing up and held out his hand, “dance with me baby”
“I don’t think that’s good idea. How about we just stay here, hmmm?”
“Come on, baby! We used to have fun dancing! Please? Just this once?” still holding out his hand and smiling like an idiot as I took it. “Fine”
“I’ll be right back,” addressing Blake but he just stared at me, infuriated, “by all means, dance your socks off”
Joining the crowded floor with people bumping and grinding, Kyle took the opportunity to pull me close to his chest, eyes locked and yelled, “I love you.”
My mouth opened and closed again. Relieving myself in this odd position without having to talk to him, I rotated myself and placed his hands on my waist and danced. He seemed to love having his hands on me. His grip was getting tighter as he closely grinded himself a little too close for comfort on my ass.
How does one balance an ex and a ‘possible’ new man in your life? It’s Kyle’s first day here and I’m having a hard time already. I hate what he did and at the same time I want to help him, but it’s evident that he wants more than that. And with Blake, where do I even begin? He’s so baffling.
Holding our rhythm, I was starting to have fun dancing with him. We both relaxed and started to enjoy each other. When the music ended, I expected for us to dance more, but Kyle led me to the entrance door.
Outside on the pavement, he asked for us to take a short walk.
I obliged.
Twenty-One
“I’ll give you a few minutes and then I’ll go back inside. I don’t want my friends to worry,” I said to him as he simply nodded in agreement.
When he stopped walking, he leaned on the building and closed his eyes. With his eyes shut, he spoke softly, “When my parents pitched the idea of me coming here, I was happy and scared—I was scared because you might not love me the way I love you—well, not anymore. I was cruel and I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done to you. If we turn out to be friends like how it was before we started dating, I’ll take that in a heartbeat. I’m really thankful that you’re even giving me time, but it was hardly a surprise.”
Opening his hazel eyes, miserable and anguished, “you have such a good heart, Sienna. You’re smart, beautiful and brave. When Christy started beating you, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t dare hurt you. But I did—I broke that promise. You trusted me—you loved me, how could I betray someone I loved so much? I was consumed with anger and hurt that I forgot to think that I’ll be hurting you. I’m sorry—” he started to massage his temples, sadness racked my body.
I walked over and hugged him tight. The mention of Christy Brown’s name sent shivers all over my body, that woman was horrid. “I know you are—that’s why I can’t stay mad at you for so long. What you did was painful—I’m hurt—I just wish that you could’ve told me about what you were going through instead you looked for another replacement to forget about me.”
“And how successful that turned out—the moment I saw you again—I was a goner. I was invaded by the thoughts of you. It’s always been you Sienna, no matter how much I try—my heart belongs to you,” he said a little breathless.
I looked down studying my toes. Why is it painful when he tells me he loves me? I love Kyle, I do and I guess I’ll always love him—but a big part of me wants Blake—no point in denying myself anymore. I was always attracted to him and I can’t pass this chance or I might regret it for the rest of my life. Fuck, baby steps. I want him and that’s that.
What I feel for him is complex, but as fascinating as he is—I’m not going to let anyone trample my heart. That’s one thing I wouldn’t compromise.
“Kyle, I’m sorry. I really am—but right now, I’m not in a place where I want to be a relationship. Everything is too deep and too much between you and me. I need to step back and think about what I do want. All my life, I was attached to your hip. I lived and breathed you and I loved you with all of my heart—but you must understand—that things changed. It’s different now—,” looking up to him with unshed tears. His thumbs started to wipe the sides of my eyes. “Don’t cry, baby. I feel like a total bastard right now. Please, don’t cry,” he hugged me tightly.
My head was on his torso as he tried to calm me down. He gently stroked my hair and kissed my cheek.
Getting myself off his body, I folded my arms as I waited for him, “Let’s go inside. We’ve been out for awhile now”
He pulled me close to him and draped his arm around me as he headed to the club’s entrance, where he immediately stopped. “Go be with friends, I’m going back to the apartment. I’m pooped but I wanted to spend more time with you, but now I’m ready to crash.”
“Alright, it was good to see you again. Be safe”
Kissing my lips gently, much to my surprise, “I’ll be in touch baby, I love you” and left to where the cabs are waiting on the curb.
I waited until he got in the cab before I let myself past the bouncers who were listening intently to our exchange. I smiled understanding how boring it must be to stand there all night. “Can’t say I blame him love, I would want to spend all of my time with you,” one of the tall bulky men said as I walked past. Men, I thought amusingly.
My mood took a sour turn when I saw a tall blonde sitting on Blake’s lap. Here’s reality check for you. Moments ago, I was thinking of being with him and now his hands are on that woman’s waist as he fed her olives.
Barf.
My blood was boiling and I wanted to throw something at them.
“Turn around,” Chad whispered behind my back.
“The old Blake lashed out when he saw how you danced with your old lover. She’s an old friend of his—who just happened to be here with her own party—but as you can see, their quite engrossed with each other. Don’t mind him, I’m sure his gutted inside. This is his way of coping,” squeezing my shoulder. I didn’t even respond to that because I didn’t expect it, but why shouldn’t I have? It’s f**king Blake we’re talking about! Here’s a side of him that I didn’t get to see.
I was beyond angry, but hell will freeze over before I let him see how hurt I am. “He just glanced here—don’t look back!”