“Is it impossible to have meaningless sex?”
“I’m sure it’s possible, I just don’t know very many people who get away with it. And I don’t mean to imply that you’re not strong enough to deal with it, but, honey, are you?”
“It might get rid of the fantasies.”
“Maybe. It also might make you latch on.”
“Not to sound like a slut, Lauren, but I’ve had quite a few one-night flings in the last few years with no attachment issues.”
“Then maybe you’ll be fine. But your one-night things work because you don’t see the guy every day after. You’ll still see this guy after, right?”
My one-night flings worked because those guys were f**k and forget guys. Hudson, not-so-much. And I would be seeing him after. ”Occasionally.” Probably more than that. Truthfully, I didn’t have any idea how much our little scam would require me to see Hudson. The charade was set to start Sunday, though, and he’d been intent on keeping the sex separate so I imagined that we’d be having a one day affair and then would move on.
Lauren studied me carefully. After a few minutes she shrugged. “I can’t tell you what to do, Laynie. And I can’t tell you that sleeping with this guy or not sleeping with this guy will make any difference in whether you do or don’t fall into obsessive patterns. What I can do is be there for you and suggest that you come back to group for a while for some extra support.”
Extra support was a good idea. Before we parted, I agreed to come to a weekly meeting. Then I hurried home to prepare for my evening because I had not agreed to cancel my sex date with Hudson.
***
Again I agonized about my wardrobe choice for my night with Hudson, finally settling on a black sequined cowl neck shirt and sequined striped shorts. Jordan dropped me off in front of the Pierce Industries building a few minutes before five. By the time I’d entered the elevator code and ridden up to the penthouse, I was shaking in my strappy three-inch heeled sandals.
It took at least one full minute before I could bring myself to knock on the loft door. Hudson opened it immediately, as if he waited just on the other side, but he had his cell phone to his ear. “Roger, I don’t want to hear that we lost this company because my staff wasn’t able to foresee the possibility of separation.” He held the receiver away from his mouth. “Come in,” he whispered to me. Then he returned to his call as he shut the door behind me.
I couldn’t decide if his preoccupation with work made me more or less nervous, but I took the opportunity to check him out. He wore tailored black suit pants and a light gray dress shirt with several buttons open at the top, his tie hanging undone around his neck. I fixed on his exposed chest, picturing myself licking the patch of bare skin that I was seeing for the first time. God, if I was this enthralled by a few square inches, what would I do when he was naked?
He returned my stare, his eyes intense and dilated with want. The heat I always felt in his presence turned on full force and the moments he stood there on the phone felt like agonizing hours.
“Take care of it, Roger. I expect this to be resolved before I arrive on Monday.” He ended the phone call without saying goodbye, tossing his Blackberry onto the table beside the front door, his gaze never leaving mine.
“Hi,” I whispered, unable to handle the acute silence.
His lip curled slowly into a sexy grin.
That was all it took. One smile and I couldn’t hold back any longer. I’d imagined the first move would be his, but it was me who moved to him, my mouth crashing against his.
His surprise lasted only a millisecond before he responded in kind. His previous kisses had been deep and passionate, but this one held no restraint as he plunged his tongue into the recesses of my mouth with desperate hunger. I met his eagerness with equal fervor, licking into his mouth, swooping my tongue across his teeth.
Without breaking our kiss, Hudson’s hands moved under my shirt to palm my br**sts through my bra. I gasped at the wonderful tingles that shot through my body under his gentle squeezing. My own hands fumbled with his shirt buttons, images of me ripping the damn thing off filling my mind.
Just as I’d completely opened his shirt, he pulled away, panting. “Jesus, Alayna. I want you so bad, I’m not behaving.”
“Hudson,” I said, closing the distance he’d created. “If this is misbehaving, please don’t stop.” I slid his shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, then put my tongue on his chest and licked under his collarbone toward his nipple.
He groaned. “At least let me take you to a bed. If you keep this up, I’m going to f**k you against the door.”
“That doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world,” I murmured, but I let him lead me toward the partitioned bedroom.
“No, it doesn’t.” He stopped a few feet from the bed and pulled me into his arms. He nuzzled my neck as he said, “But I won’t be able to savor you properly and I’ll forever regret it.”
He tugged the bottom of my shirt up and over my head then reached behind to undo the clasp of my lacey black demi-cup bra. When it fell off, releasing my tits from their C cup prison, I wanted nothing but to press my skin against his na**d chest.
But Hudson wanted to gaze, mesmerized. “I imagined you’d have beautiful br**sts, Alayna. But I had no idea…” He broke off, his voice choked. He pushed me back until my legs met his bed and I had to sit. Kneeling in front of me, Hudson flicked one breast with his tongue, cupping it toward his mouth with his hand, his other hand wrapped around my back.
With a growl, his mouth covered my nipple and sucked and tugged with pleasing pressure. I cried out at the jolt that accompanied his ardor, my cunt tightening. I clutched his hair as he feasted thoroughly, leaving me gasping and near orgasm before he turned the same attention to my other breast.
When he’d finished, he kissed his way down my stomach. “You’re so responsive. I could spend all day sucking your gorgeous tits.” He pushed me back on to the bed. “But there’s so much of you to adore.”
He gripped his fingers in the waistbands of my shorts and panties and pulled down. I arched my h*ps to help him. “My shoes,” I said when my bottoms reached my ankles.
“I love them.” He maneuvered my clothing over my high-heels. “I want them digging into my back when you wrap your legs around me.”
I quivered at his sensual instruction. Not a particular lover, I enjoyed the way he told me how things would be, trusting that his way would bring us both pleasure.