“I can arrange both. You pick which one.” Declan reaches into his tuxedo jacket pocket and pulls out his phone. “We can be gone in twenty minutes.”
“What? You’re joking.”
“You know me. I don’t joke when it comes to making something you want happen.”
In retrospect, I’m pretty sure Shannon would have said no to eloping if what happened next had not unfurled.
Marie begins banging on the door, insisting to be let in and hissing about Jessica Coffin’s importance in high society and how Shannon needs to learn to put petty differences aside for the sake of a higher purpose—
At the exact moment Jessica herself moves just enough to be seen through the windows to the courtyard, chatting with Shannon’s ex-boyfriend, Steve.
And his mother, Monica.
“Is that Steve?” Declan roars as he spots the ex, the sound so forceful it makes an empty coffee cup on a table shake. “Your mother invited STEVE?”
“My God,” Shannon whimpers. “I give up. I just give up.” She turns to me as I lean hard against the door, my fingers sweaty, thumb joint aching from holding on to the doorknob to stop Marie from coming in.
I look beyond the trio outside and see another face across the way, peering through the glass in the men’s dressing wing.
Andrew.
He’s here. My body blooms with a kind of anticipatory pain, the knowledge that we can’t be together juxtaposed against the happiness I can’t control when I see him. The twinning of those two emotions leaves me in a perceptive state, the edges of everything I see a little too bright.
“What do I do, Amanda?” Shannon pleads, her face dotted with the splotchiness of sadness and fear.
I need to fix this.
I want to fix this.
I should fix this.
But I can’t fix this.
Andrew was right. This isn’t mine to fix.
“Hon, you’re on your own.” I exchange a look with Declan that makes it clear I chose the right words. “I love you, and I’ll lie for you. I’ll block a door for you. I’ll hold Jessica down while you rip out her hair extensions, but I can’t decide for you.”
She looks outside at the triad of destructive distortion.
Looks back at the door, which is rippling with the force of Marie’s blows.
Then, eyes only for Declan, she says, “Do it. I don’t care how you do it, but let’s escape. Now. I am not going to be ridiculed by Jessica Coffin on the one day where I am supposed to be the positive center of attention. Mom has gone too far.”
“I’ll give you all the positive attention you need,” Declan declares, kissing her. He’s on the phone in seconds, delivering orders.
“Are you really going to run away from your own wedding? Like in The Graduate?” I marvel.
She looks around the room, then outside, then down at her body. “It’s not really my wedding, though, is it? Mom ran roughshod over everyone. Declan has a point. Sometimes the best way to fight is to leave.”
“Give up?”
“No. Just...not engage. She’s turned this spectacle into something that doesn’t actually need me or Declan to even happen. We could make cardboard cutouts of ourselves on wheels and it would take her an hour to notice the difference.”
I can’t help but laugh sadly.
“Do you think that would really work?” Shannon asks with such innocent hope that I laugh harder.
“If it did, you and Amy and Carol would have tried it by now.”
Declan gives me a tight look. “Will you lie for us?”
“Lie?”
“I think I have a good cover story for escaping.”
“Escaping your own thousand-guest wedding? The story better be damned good.”
He whispers his plan in my ear.
I suddenly sound like a hyena in labor. “You what?”
“Marie will buy it. Let’s just play on her biggest weakness. Give her what she’s dreamed of,” Declan explains.
I’m floored by what he whispered. There is no way this plan is going to work. None.
I look outside to see that Jessica has separated herself from Steve and Monica and is now taking pictures of everything, then tapping on her phone. Uploading? Probably to various social media sites with hashtags that will follow Shannon for months.
#doghater leaves a bad taste in my mouth, too.
“I’ll do it. I’ll lie. But you’re crazy if you think Marie’ll believe this.”
“Don’t say a word. Go along with it. Pretend just long enough for us to escape. Just...trust me,” Declan says in a voice filled with so much authority that I can’t help it.
I do.
“There will be a point after we leave when she will try to squeeze the truth out of you. Don’t cave in,” he demands.
This is unreal.
“You’re serious! You’re ditching your own wedding?”
Shannon is beaming. Beaming! She looks happier than I’ve seen her in nearly a year.
And Declan is a man with a mission.
She walks over to me, where the door is thumping and Marie is muttering compromises in the background, something about stopping all the sex toy shops if we’ll just come out there.
I kiss Shannon on the cheek and whisper, “Go for it. I’m here. I’ll fix whatever mess is left.”
And with that, I let go of the doorknob.
Marie comes flying into the room, disheveled, followed by a very addled Jason.
“Marie! There you are!” Declan reaches for her and sweeps her into a huge hug, followed by a kiss on each cheek that makes him seem like James. “We were wondering what happened to you. Come on, now! We need to get this wedding going. You need to get moving!”