“And?”
“My biggest fear was that being with you wasn’t real.”
“Oh,” he says, the word like a pained sigh, as if I’ve punctured his heart. “I want to be real with you, Amanda. More than anything in the world. I thought bowing out of the wedding would save everyone from risk. I never wanted to put Declan in the position of having my life in his hands. Never wanted to put you in a place where you’d experience the—” His words break off, segmented by a harsh sound of being overcome by intensity. “Where you’d know what it’s like to watch your world turn out to be more fragile than you expected, and to see it all fall apart without being able to stop it.”
Fragile.
“I know.” I’m crying now, my words unfiltered, my thoughts racing as everything I feel for him rushes out of me. “I know why you walked away. I just didn’t know how to fix it.”
“Watching you risk everything just now and seeing you—oh, God—it made me understand that the biggest risk isn’t dying. It isn’t even being left behind to pick up the pieces.” He smooths my hair away from my face, his thumb on my cheekbone, his hand steadying me. “It’s the mistake of never trying.”
I start to shiver uncontrollably.
Andrew peels off his shirt, bobbing in the water and dipping beneath the surface. As he comes up, he urges me back from the side of the pool by an inch, and then guides one of my hands into the wet armhole.
“Ow!” I cry out.
I look at my hand. It’s swollen, covered in nasty welts from the scratches, and the spot he touched has two clear puncture marks.
Horror fills his face, his hair wet and plastered against his forehead. “You fought to free the animals underwater while they did this to you?” he asks in a voice filled with disbelief.
I shrug. But because I’m shivering, I just look like I’m twitching. All his words run through my mind in a blur, and I want to talk and touch and feel and spend every waking minute with him, but all my energy is leaking out of me so fast. Too fast.
He takes the shirt and drapes it over my front. Gently, he moves me off the side of the pool and clasps me in an embrace, my breasts mashed up against his wet shirt. Warmth pours out of him like melted love, heated to just the right temperature. I stop shivering and let out a long, grateful sigh of relief.
Andrew laughs, his throat working hard, his eyes so full of—dare I say it?—love. “Is this,” he says, looking pointedly at my wet, cotton-covered top, “real enough for you?”
And then he kisses me so hard he makes me really, truly real.
“I love you,” he rasps against my neck. “I never thought I could feel this way about anyone in my life, and I’ve been such an ass thinking that I was somehow saving you from the pain of risk with me. What I didn’t realize was that the pain of not being together was worse than the pain of losing you. I wasn’t saving you anything by walking away. I was just making life agony for us both.”
He looks at me, his face filled with a dawning earnestness.
“I love you too, Andrew. I truly do,” I whisper, amazed at how real the words feel.
When he kisses me, there is a stillness like I felt minutes ago underwater, but instead of struggling not to breathe, I feel like I have inhaled all the air in the world and absorbed every bit of love.
“There goes the maid of honor,” Marie howls. “She’s useless now! Carol, you’re her understudy. Get over there!”
Carol looks completely confused and Andrew moves us to the edge of the lily pond pool where a set of stairs leads up. Shannon’s standing next to Declan, and both them wave, Shannon’s face split into a grin of pure joy that reflects into the courtyard like a lighthouse beam. She splits from him, walking toward me.
“Follow me,” he says, keeping my front pressed against him, walking with a smooth, steady series of steps until we’re out of the water, where the paramedic runs over, throwing a thick fleece and wool blanket over my shoulders, finally giving me some modesty.
“I can’t lose you again, Amanda. I’m so sorry,” Andrew says as the paramedic asks me questions and tends to the bites and scratches all over my arms. The antiseptic he spreads liberally stings, but compared to the salt water pool, it’s heaven.
“You won’t lose me. Ever.” We share a smile I’ve been waiting to give my whole life.
“Amanda!” Mom crushes me with a side hug. “I can’t believe how brave you were!” She turns to Andrew, her eyes red from crying. “And you!” She forces Andrew to let her hug him. He waggles his eyebrows at me over her shoulder, but he takes the embrace, giving it right back.
Spritzy is at my feet, licking my stocking-covered toes.
“Mr. McCormick! Mr. McCormick!” shouts Jordan, who is running over, cradling a wet wool sock.
Wait.
That’s Muffin.
Andrew, James, Declan and Terry all turn toward the little man, who approaches James.
“Thank you so, so much, Mr. McCormick, for saving my precious Muffin! You were so brave to use that pool skimmer and to pluck her out of her watery grave. I am forever in your debt.”
And then he bows and actually takes James’ hand, kissing his ring.
“What?!” I am about to blow a gasket. Jordan must hear me going nuclear, because he slowly cranes his neck toward me, eyes bulging out with the hard look of sanctimony.
Andrew tries not to laugh, but I can feel his body bouncing with mirth. “Hashtag doghater,” he whispers in my ear, giving me an affectionate squeeze.