“Gabriel?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Mr. Lemmings did leave, didn’t he?”
“No. As a matter of fact, he’s been waiting in the kitchen this whole time.”
“What?!” I scrambled in vain to get back onto the ground. Gabriel denied me. His snickers had me yelling his name. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”
He spun me around. “Didn’t I already tell you I don’t share?”
“Yes, but—”
“I don’t share, Emma. In any way. I’m greedy, didn’t you know?”
“Good.” I couldn’t help the pleased grin from spreading across my face. “I’d hate to have to kill you for trying to share me.”
“Duly noted, my sweet.” We laughed together, the giddy chortles of those newly in love. “So do you still like it?”
“Like what?”
“The penthouse.”
“Oh! Yes, I do.”
“Good. Because I sent Mr. Lemmings away with the promise of a fully signed lease.”
“And he didn’t mind leaving us alone?”
“Of course not. Money has its advantages and he most likely trusted our christening wouldn’t cause any noticeable damage to the place.”
“You think he knew what we were doing?”
“Absolutely. Mr. Lemmings is a man of the world, after all. And you’re such a beautiful, delicious morsel that I truly can’t be blamed for wanting to taste you. Often.”
I ducked my head. Gabriel didn’t seem like he was ready to let me go anytime soon, so I just continued to enjoy the feeling of his arms around me. “Why do you need a penthouse again?”
“I don’t actually need one. I want one.”
“Tiny square foot apartments not living up to the dream?” I teased softly.
“It’s sublime, Emma. However, I don’t want you jumping out of your skin or being on the verge of throwing a fit every time we’re there because I’m not spanking you or tying you up. Hence, a separation is needed. This place is for us to play. For you to try certain things my way. The apartment, yours at least, is for us to just be. No games. No play. Just good, old-fashioned, vanilla sex.”
I considered his plan. It was a good one. The unfamiliar taking place in unfamiliar surroundings. I liked it.
I pounced on one word. “Vanilla? I’m the plainest flavor of all flavors.” My fingertips poked his ribs unmercifully. “Is that what you’re saying, Gabriel Gordon?”
“Hey, don’t knock it! Vanilla is one of my favorite flavors, Emma. Especially dripped all over you…” His unflagging erection prodded me.
“Again?” My throaty chuckle let him know I was more than interested in exploring his taste for vanilla and other flavors intimately.
“Again, Emma. I want you down on your pretty hands and knees for me.”
His growl did delightful things to me. We didn’t exit the penthouse for another two hours. Thankfully Gabriel had come prepared so there was no hint of foil or latex left behind to ever tell what naughty things we’d been up to.
EIGHT
Our worlds intersected frequently over the next week.
Whether at the office, elevator, apartment, or penthouse, Gabriel and I never completely left the other’s orbit for long. He called me religiously five minutes before the noon lunchtime he’d decreed for me. My body had instantly become accustomed to this habit.
I yearned for it to an unhealthy degree. A switch appeared about thirty minutes before his call, turning me from a focused employee to one who could barely remain seated in her chair. I couldn’t concentrate. My gaze kept darting from the computer clock, to the phone, to my watch, and back again.
I’d entertain the urge to take a quick walk to shake out the excess energy. Only the fear that I’d miss his call and then lose my chance to be with Gabriel prevented me from doing so.
Unfortunately, my awakening in the penthouse lasted only so long, leaving me barely enough to remember through hazy memories and emotions. I’d chase after those bits, trying in vain to find that sweet spot where I had let go of all my fears and habits and find freedom. Instead of finding paradise, I’d find that memories from high school filled the void until I was stuck in their midst.
So many girls, all desperately in love with beautiful, tortured Gabriel Gordon spun through my mind. They were so violently in love that their emotions eventually turned into hate. Those girls were bewitched, drunk on simply being in his presence. They’d needed Gabriel to place them in the center of his consciousness. Anything less made them insane. In short order, I’d transformed into one of Gabriel’s many wraiths.
Unacceptable.
“Hello, Emma.”
“Hello, Gabriel.” It was a solitary game I played in defiance of my own feelings. How long could I pretend to be verbally unmoved even while heat pooled low in my belly? I did it because I didn’t want to be a wraith. I wanted to be me—strong, independent, and…
The word trail always ended at this point. I didn’t know how to love and not run away. And I didn’t want to run away from Gabriel. So I stayed. I stayed and went through the motions, confused and unsure of who I really was when I loved Gabriel Gordon. I just knew who I wanted to be.
Someone who was confident and sure of her abilities.
“How are you surviving the day without me so far, my dearest love?”
Terribly now. I need you and I don’t want to need you but I do.
Surrounded by my real life and all the trappings of a responsible, ambitious employee, it was too disconcerting to admit how fixated I was on him. I always lied.
“Fine.”
“Mmm, just fine? Lucky you.”
I couldn’t control the nervous clacking of my fingers. My answer never fooled him, but Gabriel didn’t call me on it. Hopefully he never would. I believed he understood the transition I faced and trusted me enough to know I was doing my best to get to where I didn’t have to hide any of my emotions.
The confusion faded whenever I saw him. Then I could dismiss the haunting fear lurking behind my every smile.
Lunch was more than sharing a meal. It was the twining of our fingers. The smiles shared between us. The quiet embrace in the back of his limo where we held each other so tightly there wasn’t room for anyone or anything else but us. Conversation ebbed and flowed. Sometimes we climbed over each others words, eager to share every molecule of our day. Other times not an unnecessary word crossed our lips.
We always broke off in the same place we started—the elevator.
On Thursday I saw my doctor and got a prescription for birth control. Gabriel had kindly offered the services of his private physician, but considering how his doctor had just treated Embry, I declined. It didn’t necessarily make Gabriel happy, but he didn’t argue.
I also met my security team—both of them. In a gesture of transparency, Gabriel wanted me to know the people who were following me, for my own safety and his peace of mind of course.
“I know this is all new for you, Emma. I don’t want you walking around, wondering who’s on my payroll. That’s why I want you to meet the people who are going to keep you safe. They are the best at what they do. They are also really good at staying out of the way. You’ll probably never see them, but if you do, you’ll know who they are.”
He’d also met my demands from the other night and hired a small security team that would report solely to me. I did my best to seem comfortable at both meetings, but it was a challenge.
The groups’ background was a mix of military and police experience and training. I didn’t want to dwell on what they must think of me. They probably thought I was a temporary presence in Gabriel’s life. I know I would think that if I was in their position.
I laid out my expectations. I only wanted the team to report Gabriel’s movements to me if he was in danger, hurt, or dying. I had no interest in using them to keep him on a short leash or to ensure his fidelity to me.
Considering his secret lunch with Embry, maybe I was being too naïve and trusting. Even so, I was willing to take that risk.
Dinner was an awkward affair that evening. We went to an Italian restaurant. Gabriel watched me over candlelight, thoughts hidden safely away behind solemn regard and the occasional smile. I tried to pretend that I wasn’t unnerved by knowing there was always someone watching.
As usual Gabriel understood what troubled me. “You’ll get used to it soon,” he promised. “It’s just a precaution. You hope you never need it, but you’re glad if you do.” I nodded, unable to summon up the energy to verbally agree.
“Did they see us on the balcony?” I blurted in a hushed whisper. I didn’t like to think that our private moments were being catalogued, filed away in some internal report.
7:58pm—Mr. Gordon is on the balcony of penthouse. Currently kissing one Ms. Emma Adams. No sign of hostiles anywhere.
8:05pm—Mr. Gordon is now leading his female companion inside after watching her stumble along blindly. It is this operative’s opinion they are currently engaged in some sort of sexual conduct. Still no sign of hostiles anywhere.
Gabriel shook his head, but I didn’t think exhibitionism would ever fit into our lifestyle. Call me a prude if you will, but I’d like to keep that side of us private.
Even after our stilted conversation and barely touched food, we managed to make love late into the night. I learned without a doubt vanilla was indeed one of Gabriel’s favorite flavors. Security teams, old flames, dominance and submission, all of it was shelved to be dealt with another day. We explored each other’s bodies thoroughly, finding new places to kiss and touch.
Much later we dragged ourselves out of bed and went through the intimate acts of getting ready for sleep. I knew there’d come a time when brushing our teeth in our separate sinks would be as normal as throwing out the trash, but I still couldn’t get over seeing Gabriel in my bathroom. It made me happy.
We didn’t wear anything in bed. Naked, skin to skin, Gabriel and I twined in repose. We whispered little confessions, nothing too heavy, just the small fragments of memory that came between consciousness and unconsciousness.
The sound of his voice lulled me to sleep, making me feel protected and safe from everything. Hanging there on the brink of dream, I loved the way our legs fit perfectly together as we turned on our sides and nestled against one another. And though it had been only a few short days, I could barely remember what it was like to sleep alone.
Sometimes I woke before he did early in the morning and simply watched my golden Gabriel slumber. His long lashes filled me with good natured envy. His aquiline nose begged to be kissed on the bridge. I often couldn’t resist lightly tracing his slashing brows. I carefully brushed back his hair, falling in love with how soft and silky those strands were against my hand.
Those were the moments I knew I’d treasure for the rest of my life.
I liked visiting Gabriel’s apartment almost as much as he liked having me there. He took every opportunity to either take me shopping for some new piece he must simply have and or shopping for a plethora of frivolous but lovely things that I must simply have or he’d never be able to rest until I had them in my possession. I had all sorts of trinkets as proof of Gabriel’s affection. The stack of hardbacks next to my bed grew exponentially and I had enough bath gels, soaps, and powders to last me until next year.