When I got back, I slipped into the tent and changed into thermal pajamas. It got pretty cold at night here. I thought for sure Teren was already asleep, until the glow of his eyes ignited into life and turned to watch me.
I slipped into the two sleeping bags that we had zipped together to make one large bag, and Teren's hand hesitantly reached out for me. I shifted towards him and he placed his hand on my stomach; his face was blank in the dim light he emitted.
"You're still mad at me," he whispered, shifting to his side to face me.
I sighed and brought a hand up to cup his cheek. His eyes closed for a fraction of a second, momentarily slipping us into darkness, before reopening. "Yes," I said simply.
He sighed and rested his head against mine. "I'm sorry, Emma. How do I make this go away?"
I pushed him back a little. "You don't make this go away, Teren. We have to talk about this, really talk about it."
Rolling over to his back, he removed his hand from my body; the glow of his eyes splashed along the ceiling of the tent. "There isn't much to talk about, Emma. I was joking around...it was inappropriate and I'm sorry." His eyes flashed back to mine. "How long are you going to keep punishing me?"
I sat up on my elbow, my eyes narrowing. "Punishing you? Teren...this isn't about your stupid joke."
Now he sat up on an elbow. "Then what are you so mad about?"
I let out a disbelieving sound. Did he really not grasp this? "We shouldn't be way out here in the middle of nowhere, Teren." He rolled his eyes, which pissed me off even more. "Your parents are right. It's not safe," I whispered.
Leaning in close, his eyes flared with anger. "God, you sound exactly like them now. Have you switched to their side?"
I shoved his shoulder away from me. "There are no sides, Teren. There is safe and there is not safe." I indicated the looming forest around us full of innocent people. "This is not safe."
He ran a hand down his face, plunging us into darkness again. "It was a joke, Emma. I'm not dying this weekend. I could feel it if I were, and I'm not-I'm fine!" His voice was low, but harsh. I listened in the darkness for anyone who could have overheard that, but all I heard was the escalating sounds of Tracey and Hot Ben's flirting. I stopped listening, and focused on Teren's dark shape.
I grabbed his cheek, and he reopened his eyes as he moved his hand away from his face. Able to see him again, I took in the thin, hard line of his lips, felt the rigid tension in his jaw. My own muscles felt tight as liquid fire flashed through me. "You could feel it? Are you a freaking psychic now?" His mouth dropped open and the glow of his eyes narrowed. He started to answer me, but I beat him to it. "How do you know what it's going to feel like? How many times have you died, Teren?" I snapped in a low voice.
His face came right up to mine again, only inches away, and a flash of something else mixed with my anger. I pushed the minute desire back and focused on my anger. "I know my body, Emma."
I scoffed at that. "Really? That's why you nearly took a bite out of me at dinner a few nights ago? 'Cause you know your body so well?"
He backed away, the glow shifting down as he studied the floor. If I could see more of him, I was sure I'd see that he was blushing. "It's not happening right now," he sullenly muttered.
I flopped to my back, annoyed. Neither one of us was going to budge on this tonight. Teren flipped onto his back, and we both stared at the seam in the ceiling that his glowing eyes illuminated. Clear sounds of passion were drifting over to us from the tent next door, and Teren's hand under the sleeping bag scooted over to brush against my leg. The slight movement made a different kind of heat pulse through my body, but I forced it back as well. No way the jerk was getting lucky now, not after the afternoon we'd had.
Not sensing my mood, his hand grasped me more firmly and started traveling up my thigh. I still didn't move, not encouraging, but not discouraging either. Teren rolled to his side and brought his other hand to my stomach.
His warm lips found my neck. "Emma...," he breathed against my skin, "let's not fight..." The ache in his voice just about killed me, but I pushed him back.
Surprised, he blinked his glowing eyes as he studied me. I ignored the hypnotic, trancelike feeling of that gaze and looked away. It was a rare event when I turned Teren down, and it had never happened since we'd decided to try for a baby.
"Emma?" he asked softly.
I turned back to the glow of him. "No, Teren...not tonight."
"Aren't we trying for a baby?" he scoffed.
My eyes narrowed. Well, that just made this a heck of a lot simpler. I poked a finger in his chest. "I said, not tonight." I circled the finger in the air over my body. "This is a restricted area. And you no longer have clearance."
Irritated, he shifted his glowing orbs away from me. "Goodnight, Emma."
I rolled away from him and moved to the edge of the bag, so we weren't touching. "Whatever, Teren."
I awoke the next morning in a cold, empty sleeping bag. I looked around the small tent, but Teren had slipped out and wasn't with me. Sighing, I stretched and massaged a lump in my back, where I'd apparently slept on a boulder. Getting some fresh clothes for today, I unzipped my bag and scrounged through my stuff. I dressed as quickly as I could in the still-chilly morning air, slipping on my hiking shoes last.
Sliding out of the tent, I immediately spotted Teren. He was sitting alone by the fire, poking the ashes with a stick. He looked sullen and unhappy, and I hated that we were fighting. He didn't look up when I approached. I sat beside him, resisting the urge to touch him. I hated it though, and with a heavy sigh, I stopped resisting and let my hand fall to his knee.
He looked over with soft, pale eyes. "I'm sorry," he quietly said. "I hate fighting with you. I was..." He looked around the campsite, like he was suddenly unsure of what to say.
"An ass..." I supplied, with a slight curl of my lip.
He let out a small laugh as his eyes returned to mine. The mound of tension between us seemed to dissolve in that laugh. We relaxed in the camp chairs, his arm draped over mine on his leg, our shoulders touching. "Yes...an ass. I'm sorry, it's just..." He searched my face while he searched for words. "My entire life, I've had people telling me what I should do, where I should go, when I should marry, when to have children..." He shrugged his shoulders. "I got so sick of it. I just wanted to be my own person, with my own goals, and my own dreams." He pointed at the ground in front of him. "I wanted my own life."
He looked out over the forest as he spoke in a whisper, "I fought hard to live in San Francisco...away from them. I think they only finally let me to appease me, like eventually they'd snatch me back." He shook his head. "I guess when people start trying to force their way on me, that old resentment rears up, and I just get really...defensive."
Looking over at me, he meekly smiled. "I'm sorry. I don't want to be that person with you." He cocked his head to the side in an adorable way. "Forgive me?"
I swallowed as I studied his beautiful face. He was so amazing, how could I not forgive him? Smiling, I leaned in to kiss him. I pulled him in deeper, until our kiss was intense and passionate. When Teren started to breathe heavier, I pulled away and whispered, "I'll think about it."
We both laughed and sat back in our seats, resting our heads together and enjoying the stillness of the morning. Finally, he broke the quiet. "I'm really sorry I screwed up this weekend. That was really stupid. I didn't mean to scare you." I nodded against his head and closed my eyes, to hold in the sudden tears. "I love you, Emma," he whispered.
"I love you too, Teren," I whispered back.
We let the fight between us die as we tightly held each other's hands. There would be time. We could discuss it more, later. For a long, peaceful moment, we watched the leaves dance in the light breeze and listened to the morning birds calling to their mates, then a zipping noise signaled the arrival of our site-mates.
I watched Tracey as she stepped out of her tent. She wore fresh clothes as well, and had her long blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail that mirrored my dark mane. She zipped back up the tent, leaving Hot Ben behind. Maybe he was still sleeping. Their night had been a rather long one.
Yawning and rubbing a kink in her back, she walked over to where Teren and I were cuddling by the dead fire. She sighed as she sat down opposite us. "I don't know if I can do tent-sex again," she muttered, right in front of Teren. He lightly coughed and I could feel him smile as he kissed my hair. Tracey continued, like she was only talking to me. "I swear I have a rock permanently embedded in my ass." She rolled her eyes and tried to rub out her bottom. "Next time he can get the rock in his butt, I'm taking the top."
Teren stood at that point. Running a hand through his hair, he looked back at me. "I'm gonna...get some...firewood...or something." He leaned down to kiss me and then walked away from Tracey, lightly shaking his head.
I smiled as I watched him leave, then turned back to Tracey, who didn't seem to catch that he left because of her sharing. Tracey and I chatted about more specifics of her evening, details that Teren definitely would not want have wanted to be privy to, until eventually Ben peeked his frosted tips out of the tent. Tracey grinned at the sight of the rugged I-haven't-shaved-in-twenty-four-hours-and-my-camping-hair-is-a-rumpled-mess hotness that was Ben. He grinned back at her as she rose to meet him with an adorably sweet kiss. I was pretty sure that Tracey would put up with a lot more rocks in her ass to be with Ben.
A few minutes later, Teren came back with a couple loads of firewood. Looking a little relieved that the "girl talk" was over, he nodded at Ben. After Ben greeted him, the boys went about making us a warm, filling breakfast. I briefly kissed Teren when he handed me my plate of bacon and eggs. He grabbed my cheek and stared at me intently, like he was trying to silently convey just how horrid the last several hours had been for him. I nodded while my eyes moistened. I understood; I'd felt it, too. He acknowledged my nod with a soft kiss.
"I love you, Teren...but we still need to talk about this...later," I whispered under my breath as he sat down beside me with a plate of his own. He held my gaze for a few long moments, then he nearly imperceptibly nodded.
Relief filled my body. He was going to at least talk with me about it-hopefully without getting all defensive and pissy. I understood where he was coming from but I didn't think he understood where I was coming from. Without asking me, he'd heaped a lot of responsibility on me in this "plan" of his and I was scared. No, scared didn't cover it...I was terrified.
After breakfast, the guys wanted to do a little more fishing and Tracey and I decided to join them. We spent the remainder of that lazy Sunday along the banks of the Merced River. We drove a few minutes to a parking area and walked along the rocky edges of the picturesque stream. Ben would say, "This looks like a good spot," and Teren would throw me a sly glance and respond with, "No, I think the fish are further upstream." I bit back a smile, knowing my vamp was sensing things that poor Hot Ben would never be able to.