It could be anything so why do I suddenly feel cold?
When he came back to me I didn’t ask him why he’d been so angry. I didn’t mention anything at all, but our sweet outing had inadvertently soured.
“I’m sorry, Emma. Something’s come up and I have to go. I’ll be back by tonight.”
“Are you okay?”
“I will be when I get back to you. I’ll call you, okay?”
Gabriel hadn’t shown up by the wee hours of the morning. I lay awake nearly as long. I’d listened for every motor and expected every flash of headlight to be his. I worried, sensing in my gut that something very wrong had happened.
A few short hours I’d startled awake. My alarm rudely announced shower time. By the time I was dressed in a smart black suit, hair pulled back in a chignon, I’d shoved Gabriel aside as much as I could.
I couldn’t expect him to be by my side 24/7. I had to trust he hadn’t been able to come back for a good reason.
You have to get over your insecurities about him some day. Today might as well be the day.
I opened the door to see Gabriel leaning against the wall. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I just got back a few minutes ago.” He’d brought me flowers, apologetic and tired.
I loved hearing the pet name on his lips. “Have you slept at all?”
A faint smile curled his lips. “No.”
“You didn’t have to come back here, Gabriel. You could’ve gone straight to work and just called me later.”
“I didn’t want to.” Gabriel tugged me into his arms. His whole body shuddered and melted against mine. “I wanted to see you.”
I hugged him back. Exhaustion hit me now that I knew he was okay. I shrugged it off and concentrated on just being with him.
“I’m sorry, Emma. Really I am. I had business to take care of but I’d much rather have been here with you. Here, I brought you these.”
I pulled away from him to accept the flowers, relieved to hear his words. “I guess it’s not always a glamorous life to be so rich. Money and business don’t always respect normal business hours, do they?”
He didn’t say anything, but I saw the nervousness hiding behind his pleasant exterior.
I immediately felt guilty. Did he think me so unforgiving that I’d hold his work against him or be angry because plans change?
I’m not that kind of girl. I’ll show you.
I reached out for Gabriel again and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m so glad you made time for me this morning, Gabriel.”
“Always.” He kissed my forehead, lingering longer than usual. “We better go. Don’t want to be late, do we?”
Although we drove separately to work, Gabriel met me by the elevators. “Don’t forget we have a lunch date today.”
“I won’t.”
Gabriel gestured to the bouquet of lilies in my arms. “Think of me.”
“Always.”
I carried his delighted smile with me all the way to my cube.
Now ensconced in his luxury vehicle, wrapped up tightly in his arms, I wondered how I’d managed to forget Gabriel long enough to be of some service to Med-Tech. Juggling a boyfriend and a career would definitely be a challenge—one I’d never had to do. I eagerly looked forward to the experience.
Waylon dropped us off at a deli serving 3” thick sandwiches. I knew I’d probably only be able to eat half, but it didn’t stop me from ordering the full sandwich. Gabriel placed our order and then escorted us to the back of the cramped space to wait on our food.
Gabriel enfolded my hands in his. “I want to talk to you about tonight, Emma.”
“What is it?”
“I won’t be home.”
“You mean the apartment?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, that’s okay.”
Gabriel opened his mouth before closing it. “Actually, it’s not.”
“Why?” I finally noticed the brackets lining his mouth. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I will be fine that is. I just have to take care of a couple of things before I can fully move next to door to you.”
Inwardly I struggled to make the proper words come out, but I forced them out anyways. I’d already gotten used to the idea of having Gabriel so close. Still, it wasn’t about what I wanted. It was about what was best for him.
“Look, Gabriel, you don’t have to if it’s easier for you to stay where you are—”
“No! I’m not staying there.”
His vehemence begged me to ask, “Why do you hate it so much?”
Gabriel inhaled and exhaled several beats. “I hate what it represents in my life.”
“Which is?”
“A time when I was willing to settle.”
“Gabriel, I’m sorry but I don’t understand.”
He lifted my hands up to his mouth and kissed the knuckles. “I don’t mean to be vague. I just don’t like talking about that time when I’m with you.”
“You probably will need to one day. I mean, seeing how much it’s affecting you now.”
“You’re right. I will explain one day…really soon…but not right now. I just want to focus on us, on my future with you.”
I cleared my throat. “Does this have to do with Embry?”
A server brought our food before he could answer, forcing us to break our contact. I couldn’t help but fear the symbolism.
“No and yes. I’ll explain everything soon, Emma. Let me manage the loose ends and then I’ll tell you everything.”
Gabriel didn’t seem enthusiastic about the telling. It must’ve been pretty bad.
I thought about the night before. The question of “Was it business last night or was it personal” bore down on my tongue. I swallowed it, afraid that I was seeing things that didn’t exist, much like I had seven years before.
I didn’t want to run from him this time. Not based on assumptions, fear, and insecurity.
So I ignored the fear making itself comfortable in my stomach. I smiled and ate my delicious lunch, made all the more tasty because of the pensive angel at my side.
Gabriel is crazy for me and I’m crazy for him. It’s going to be okay.
“Is your food good?”
“Yes.” I managed a sunny smile for him. “I’ve never been here. I’m so glad you took me.”
Gabriel leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “Just a few more days, Emma, and then I’m all yours.”
“I’ll hold you to that, Sir.”
“My God, Emma. What you do to me! I promise I’ll show you soon in explicit detail.”
If only all promises were just as sweet as Gabriel.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Hello? Gabriel? Where are you?”
It was 8:32pm, almost eight hours since I saw him at lunch. I’d just spent the better part of the last five minutes making my way up the colossal structure of granite and glass just to see Gabriel. The entire building reeked of privilege and exclusivity. I felt seriously underdressed in my yoga pants, jacket, and flip flops.
Thankfully the front desk (Concierge? Security? I’m not sure what it’d be called) let me up without any issues. All I had to do was show my ID. Apparently Gabriel had left my name as an approved visitor.
The elevator wasn’t as fast as the one’s in Gabriel’s building but it was fast enough. Alone in the bullet box I wondered what was so important that he needed me to come over.
Maybe he needs moral support?
The door had been left unlocked as promised. I entered the silent space, surprised that Gabriel wasn’t there to greet me. I scanned the immaculate interior, looking for any sign of him. Sleek lines of luxury furniture and tasteful décor greeted me from the low-lit living room. Although drawn to the bank of floor to ceiling windows and the enormous outdoor patio beyond, I slowly made my way deeper into the darkened interior.
“Gabriel? Are you here?”
A gallery of pictures hung in the long hallway. Several empty spots broke the perfect arrangement, making me wonder what happened to them. I had a sinking suspicion I already knew.
“Gabriel? Hello?”
He rushed out of a room further down the hall, dressed only in low slung pajama pants and carrying a bottle. “Emma? Is that you?”
I smiled, happy to see him again. “Gabriel, I came as fast as I could. What’s up?”
He rushed down the hall towards me. My welcoming smile faded when he hissed, “Emma, why are you here? How did you get here without me knowing?”
Gabriel’s blistering anger shocked me. The man before me was nothing like the man I’d come to know over the past four days. “You texted me to come over.”
“I didn’t.”
I held up my phone to show him the text. “Yes, you did.”
Gabriel’s jaw clenched tight. I could see the muscles straining along his neck. “How did you get in?”
“You had me put on the list. At least, I think you did. The front desk…security…let me up. Are you okay?”
“No, how did you get inside here?”
“You left your door unlocked. Gabriel, what’s wrong?”
He opened his mouth and then closed it. “You can’t be here.”
“Wait…what the hell is going on? Why’d you ask me to come here if you don’t want me here?”
His hand closed around my arm. He roughly walked me back down the hall and into the living room. He then immediately backed away and pointed towards the door. “Emma, leave. I don’t know what’s happened, but you can’t be…be…be here.”
I recognized the signs from when we were teens. He swayed ever-so-slightly on his feet. His speech was too careful. I shook my head in disgust. “Gabriel, you’re drunk.”
“Yes. I am. Now that you’ve satisfied your curiosity—go. Please.”
“Why are you drinking? Are things really that bad?”
“Emma! Not now. Please.” He took a swig from the half-empty bottle. His neck bent, the weight of his head apparently too much to bear. “I don’t want you here. Not here. Not in this place. Not now. Go home before I forget why…”
I should’ve listened. I should’ve turned on my heel and walked straight out the door.
“You texted me for a reason. What was it?”
“Not me. Gabriel didn’t do it. Gabriel wouldn’t do it because Gabriel doesn’t want Emma here in this place. Not here where he wasn’t the man he needed to be for her. Not here…understand?”
I carefully circled him, my hand out ready to steady him. “I don’t want to leave you, Gabriel. Not when you’re like this.”
My kindness was wasted.
“That’s too bad, Emma. I don’t have the energy to pretend to be that which I’m not and to hide who I am. I’m a right bastard at the moment and I’m afraid I won’t be able to control it. I don’t want to hurt you. Never you. Never my sweet, sweet, perfect Emma. Now go before I stop being the one I want to be and turn into the one that is...is…”
Gabriel flung his head back. His throat worked, Adam’s apple bobbing madly.