Sadly, I always believed it was the money that would ultimately tear us apart. Now, I’d give anything to have it just be about Gabriel’s bank account.
If wishes were like horses, beggars would ride.
“You keep talking about how you know me. Let me tell you something—I know your type too. You’re not this selfless, Embry. It’s not all for Gabriel and it definitely doesn’t have a damn thing to do about me. So what did you really think you’d accomplish for yourself with this, Embry? You’d break us up and then what?”
I didn’t think she’d answer me. Embry’s slender fingers played with the bracelet on her wrist. She looked defeated, wan and wrecked now that the damage was done.
“I’d hope Gabriel would finally see how much I love him. You could never love him like I do and today proves it.”
“I would’ve never set out to purposely hurt him like you’ve done now. How can that be love?”
Embry tipped her chin back, defiant and damning. “I’d do whatever it took to help him. I don’t care what it costs me. Gabriel’s been in denial over you, thinking that if you’d fall in love with the man he thinks you want, that somehow it would mean the same as loving him. He’s wrong. Gabriel doesn’t have to change anything. He just has to change the person he’s with, namely you. And I don’t care what he says in front of you—Gabriel still cares for me. That’s why he left you on Sunday to be with me.”
“That’s enough, Embry!”
Her immediate obedience took on a dank cast. My stomach roiled with nausea. I wasn’t completely ignorant to the dynamics of D/S. I’d read enough to give me a romanticized version before my college roommate, a professional Domme, set me straight. What were the chances that those afternoon conversations would illuminate the tableau before me?
Fate, f**k you for your sick sense of humor.
Gabriel’s intimacy with Embry was far deeper than anything he could’ve accomplished with me in one short week. His dominance was also something deeply at the core of who he was. Gabriel couldn’t just turn it off as it appeared he’d done for me. His kink wasn’t something to be reformed out of him. It wasn’t something to be changed.
Which mean Embry was right. Theirs wasn’t a relationship so easily tossed aside.
“You left me to go to her on Sunday? You let me believe it was business and it wasn’t. You lied to me by omission, Gabriel. You should let me go. Now.”
His arms tightened fractionally. He whispered in my ear, “Embry showed up at my mother’s function drunk. I had to get her out of there. Nothing happened between, Emma. I swear. You’re the only one I want to be with.”
“Stop it!” Embry screamed. “Don’t be like this with her, Gabriel! You never beg anyone.”
I stood there, trapped in a dense mental fog that I couldn’t break free from. I wanted out. I didn’t want to be in the same room with either of them.
“Tell her the rest, Gabriel. Tell her what else happened,” Embry urged softly.
I can’t handle anything else.
“I’ve already heard enough.”
“No, you haven’t!” she snapped, triumphant and unashamed. “Gabriel stayed with me all night. I’m afraid that I’d taken a…few…too many pills.”
“You tried to kill yourself?” Disbelief ricocheted through me. Why would she do such a thing?
Do I really have to wonder? It’s Gabriel. It’s always been Gabriel.
“Not really. I just didn’t want him to go back to you. And he didn’t.”
I couldn’t believe her reasoning and how calmly she delivered it. “That’s sick! You hurt yourself just to get him to do what you want! Embry, that’s not love. That’s manipulation. You don’t do that to the people you love.”
Her serene smile disagreed. “Gabriel stayed with me all night, watching over me and even calling his private doctor to make sure I didn’t come to harm.” Embry’s voice took on a soft, dreamy cadence. “He took care of me, Emma, just like before. He was so tender, so caring.”
I stared down at the arm wrapped snugly around my waist. I thought of digging my nails into his hand just to make him let go. The pieces finally clicked, forming a picture I didn’t want to see and should’ve known existed the first moment I laid eyes on Embry.
“You stayed with her in the penthouse, didn’t you? That’s why you didn’t want me there at all. Was she still there last night?”
“No, Emma! She wasn’t there.”
“Yes, I was…in a matter of speaking. I’m the one who texted you, Emma. I’m the one who left the door unlocked. I’m the one who put you on the approved list. Wonder how I could do that? It’s because that penthouse was bought for us, Gabriel and I. That was our home, Emma, and you ruined it.”
Oh my God!
“And that’s why I know this was the right decision for all of us. You’ll never be able to make him happy like I can. So please let Gabriel go.”
“Emma, don’t do it. I can’t…” Whatever Gabriel might have said remained unspoken because the door opened. A server rolled the dining cart inside. Seeing the three of us locked in our morbid standoff, he drew to a startled stop. I took advantage of Gabriel’s loosened grip to slip away.
“Emma!”
His low growl did nothing to persuade me back to his side—even if my legs ached. “Guess this proves her point, huh? I can’t be like Embry after all.” Gabriel took a measured step towards me. I immediately turned to the server and whispered, “I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do.”
I yanked the cart from him and turned it over. The gourmet lunch hit the stone floor in an explosion of glass and food. Everyone jumped back while I sprinted out the door, barely hearing Gabriel’s bellow over the pounding of my heart.
I tore through the empty hallway, leapt down several steps, and veered towards the kitchen. The staff, heavy in the midst of their lunchtime rush, stared at me as I ran past. Every kitchen had a back door leading to the dumpster and this one proved to be no different.
I shoved it open, glad an alarm didn’t automatically sound off. I ran full out, arms pumping and legs eating up the ground as I darted through human and mechanized traffic.
Gabriel, you f**king f**ked up mess. Damn you! Damn you for not trusting me with who you really are!
I should’ve known better. There were no happy endings when girls like me fell for men like him. I ran until it felt as if I’d run my legs off. Sweat poured out and my lungs ached as if I’d been breathing in fiberglass. Everything hurt.
Obelisk Pointed loomed ahead of me. My whole life was in this building. My career, my future, my mother’s house—all of it depended on me getting my shit together. I couldn’t fall apart now.
Gabriel’s SUV drew to a screeching stop. He hopped out and blocked my way. “Emma!”
I panted, lungs struggling harder to draw in air while I simultaneously wanted to cry and beat him into the ground. “Get out of my way.”
Gabriel held his hands out. “Baby, you have to listen to me. I never meant to hurt you.”
I shoved past him. “There’s nothing you can say to me right now that I want to hear!”
Part of me expected him to snatch me off the street. Instead, he let me go.
The twisted part of me wished he hadn’t.
I rushed into the building and got to my cubicle without incident. Sweaty and trembling, I swept Gabriel’s flowers into the trash before grabbing my work clothes.
I wanted to go home so badly, to crawl into my bed and hide from the world. Instead, I forced myself to go into the bathroom, change my clothes, and wipe my body down. I tossed Embry’s care package into the garbage, hoping I’d never have to see her again. The thought of never seeing Gabriel wasn’t as easy to imagine. Still, by the time I got back to my desk I’d composed myself into an unfeeling, functioning automaton.
Nothing else matters except work. You got over Gabriel once before. You can do it again.
I effectively blocked off all my emotions and worked without rest until it was time to go. I briefly considered staying late. Gabriel might’ve been bold enough to take advantage of the empty office. I packed my things and made it to my car unscathed.
I briefly thought his security detail might’ve interfered on their boss’ command. Apparently, their task was simply to watch. The drive home went by in a colorless blur. I had to remind myself that this was real. Not the five days spent in the company of a vivacious, charming creature capable of tremendous joy and utter devastation.
Gabriel Gordon would leave my life as quickly as he entered it. I was sure of it. Once I no longer provided the entertainment of ignorance, once he realized I wasn’t a stand-in for a glamorous submissive, he’d lose focus. The challenge was already over because I knew all of this and still wanted to weep over my loss.
Pitiful. Stupid, pitiful, and sick.
I saw Gabriel’s SUV when I pulled into the parking lot. I couldn’t deny the knot that formed in my stomach or the longing that suddenly plucked me bare.
Gabriel, how did you do this to me again?
He got out of his vehicle as soon as I did. I didn’t give him a chance to say anything to me. I darted down the breezeway towards my door, ignoring the pounding of his feet as I barely made it inside. I threw the deadbolt first and then the other lock. Gabriel twisted the knob.
“Emma, open the door!
“Go away, Gabriel!”
“Emma, please! Don’t do this!”
“I’m not going to talk to you right now. I can’t.”
“Baby, please don’t do this. Don’t shut me out. It kills me when you do it.”
“It hurts me too.”
“Then let me in, Emma. I need to be with you. I love you…Please, Emma…Emma…baby…are you still there?”
“Yeah.”
“Let me in…please.”
Any hope of escaping this madness ended.
CHAPTER TEN
I unlocked the deadbolt and then the door. Gabriel rushed in and crushed me in his arms. I knew I should’ve pushed him away. I should’ve at least slapped him. I did neither of those two things. I clung to him as tightly as he clung to me.
“I’m so sorry, Emma. I shouldn’t have tried to hide all of this from you. Baby, I know I f**ked up but please don’t tell me it’s too late to make it right.”
“I believed in you, Gabriel. Even after knowing the kind of boy you were in school, I took a chance and believed in you. You lied to me!”
“Baby, please forgive me. I can’t lose you, not when I found you again.”
I clenched my eyes shut. “I don’t know what to do.”
Gabriel cupped my face. His thumbs brushed away the steady stream of tears. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Everything.”
I opened my mouth and closed it again. Did it really matter? After all, what I did know was more than enough to never see him again.
Gabriel pretended to bump into me in the elevator when he’d already known I was in his building for a month. He was having me followed without my permission or knowledge. He’d hid the seriousness of his relationship with Embry. He’d kept his sexual proclivities a secret. He lied to me about having lunch with Embry. He met her behind my back and would’ve kept it a secret forever.