Chapter 21
Before I could close my car door Sawyer was in front of me. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all last night and he had a cut on his nose and a bruise under his right eye.
“What happened?”
“Where is he?” Sawyer ordered, cutting off my question. I shook my head, staring up at him and trying to figure out why he was so determined to find Beau.
“I told you I don’t know. I left church and went to see Leann. I stayed the night at her dorm and came back this morning.”
Sawyer mumbled something that sounded like a curse and my eyes flew open in shock. The sun beamed down on his face and I could see swelling along his right cheek bone under the bruise. Apparently, he’d found Beau yesterday at some point.
“Did Beau do that?” I reached up to touch his face and he swatted my hand away with a disgusted sneer.
“Don’t touch me. You made your bed, Ashton, now you can lie in it. I’m not yours to touch.”
He was right of course. I simply nodded. Anger lit up his blue eyes.
“You did this, you know. He’s gone because of you. You ruined his life. I hope it was worth it.” Sawyer’s voice was laced with the anger flashing in his eyes. One thing was for sure: he hated me.
I didn’t nod this time. I just stepped around him and walked away. It hurt too bad to see the hatred in his eyes directed at me. I needed to find Beau. Not calling him yesterday had been a bad move but I refused to believe he’d run off. He’d been ready to fight for me. From the battered appearance of Sawyer’s face he did fight for me. I was ready to choose him over everyone else. It was time I threw caution to the wind and went after what I wanted too. And I wanted Beau.
Eight hours later, I stood outside the bar where Honey Vincent worked, staring at the door. I hadn’t ever been here in the daylight. The peeling paint and badly beaten-up door weren’t noticeable in the dark. Beau hadn’t shown up for school today. People who once spoke to me acted as if I didn’t exist. It would have bothered me if I hadn’t been so worried about Beau. I’d texted him several times but there was never a response. Sawyer had only directed his angry glare my way once: when he was headed to the field house after school he walked by my locker and shook his head as if to blame me for his cousin’s absence. The fear that he was right had gotten stronger all day long. I should have called Beau yesterday. No, I should have stayed by his side. Instead, at the first sign of struggle I lied and ran, leaving him holding the bag. I’m an awful person.
The door to the bar opened and Honey stood there with her hand on her hip staring directly at me. Her long, dark hair was pulled to the side of her head in a low ponytail and she was wearing a pair of snug jeans and a baggy sweatshirt. It was the first time I’d ever seen her body so well covered.
“Well, come on in, for crying out loud. How long you gonna stand here and study this door? He ain’t in here, so you can’t will him to walk out of it.”
So Beau wasn’t here, but maybe she knew where he was. I hurried after her as she spun around and headed back inside.
The bar was different at three o’clock in the afternoon. The curtains were drawn, letting sunlight inside, and the windows were open, allowing a fresh, cool breeze to waft through the place. Almost taking away the stench of stale beer and cigarettes . . . almost.
“He left yesterday. Ain’t been home, neither. You messed those two boys up good, girl.” Honey shook her head as she went to wiping glasses off and hanging them back up above the bar.
“I know. I need to fix it.”
She shook her head and let out a hard laugh.
“I reckon that would be nice but the damage is done. Those boys about beat the shit outta each other in here yesterday. You’ve made them both crazy. Never thought I’d see a girl come between them two but then I never figured you’d ever look Beau’s way either. Once you started showing him some interest I knew this was all going to hell in a hand basket real quick. You’ve always been my boy’s weakness.”
I sank down onto a stool across the bar from her. My stomach churned with guilt. What had I done to Beau? How could I say I love him and hurt him so badly? Love wasn’t selfish.
“I’m an awful person. I’d take it all away if I could. I can’t believe I’ve done this to him.”
Honey paused and raised an artfully sculpted brow. “Him who?”
“Beau,” I replied, frowning. A sad smile touched her lips and she shook her head.
“Well I guess he ain’t as stupid as I thought he was. I figured the boy’d thrown everything away for some little gal looking to have a good time. I didn’t think you’d actually care about him too.”
I wanted to get mad, but how could I? I’d done nothing to prove I cared anything about him. Love didn’t screw up your life.
“Do you know where he is? I just want to talk to him. I need to fix this.”
Honey sighed and slid the glass in her hand on the rack above her head before meeting my gaze.
“No Ashton, I don’t. He left here after beating his cousin’s face in. He was hurt and angry. I figure he needs some time and then he’ll come out of hiding. For right now, you just worry about fixing your problems with Sawyer.”
I shook my head. “There is no fixing my problems with Sawyer. He hates me. All I can hope is one day he understands, but I don’t have time to deal with him.”
Honey leaned both her elbows on the bar and studied me a moment.
“You mean to tell me you ain’t getting back with Sawyer at all? You ain’t even worried about losing that fine future he planned on giving you?”
There was never a future with Sawyer. I’d known that all along.
“I love Sawyer but I’m not in love with him. I never intended on forever with Sawyer. I just need to see Beau. The only dealings I want to have with Sawyer is getting him to forgive Beau.”
Honey nodded and reached out and patted my arm.
“I think I could like you, gal. Go figure. Me liking the preacher’s daughter. Crazier shit has happened.”
A smile tugged at my lips for the first time all day. She reminded me of Beau just now. Her amused expression and the same hazel eyes.
“I need to talk to him. Please, as soon as you see him tell him to call me.”
Honey nodded and went back to wiping the glasses. I stood up and started for the door. The letter I’d written him during Literature, apologizing and begging him to please talk to me, was in my pocket. The plan had been to slip it in his locker but he never showed up at school. I pulled it out and turned and walked back to Honey.
“Could you give this to him when you see him?” I asked, sliding the folded paper across the bar toward her. She reached out and picked it up, meeting my eyes.
“Sure, darlin’. I’ll make sure he gets it.”
Both my parents’ cars were in the drive when I finally pulled in well after five o’clock. It was time to face the music. No one met me at the door, which was a good thing. I stepped inside and I was leveled with my father’s penetrating stare. He was sitting in the recliner with the Bible open in his lap as he peered at me over his reading glasses. He was angry, hurt, and disappointed. I could see it all in his eyes. I dropped my purse on the coffee table and sank down onto the couch facing him.
“Glad you could finally make it home. Your brief text message telling me you were fine and staying the night at Leann’s wasn’t exactly comforting. Your mother has gone to bed with a headache from the worry.”
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I replied. I truly was sorry I’d upset them. Even if I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
“Sorry, huh. Well, you don’t appear sorry. I will say I’m glad you made it to school on time and even found time to make it to your Grana’s grave. Don’t look surprised. I visit it daily and I noticed the fresh rose on her headstone. Only you would bring her a single rose from her own rose garden. No one else would think of it. You’re a good girl, Ashton. You always have been, but this summer something has gotten into you and we need to straighten it out.”
He’d blame it all on Beau if he knew. He wanted it to be someone else’s fault. The fact his daughter was one big fake didn’t even register with him.
“Beau Vincent’s missing too. Everyone thought you two’d run off together. But then you texted you were at Leann’s and her dorm counselor verified the information when I called and checked. So you weren’t with Beau but it is awfully suspicious he is missing too, and Sawyer has a black eye. What happened at church, Ashton?”
He was asking but he didn’t really want to know the truth. No father wanted to hear this kind of truth. I shook my head. “I got into an argument with Sawyer and we broke up. I ran off to see Leann and get away. That’s all I know.” I was getting so good at lying. Not something to be proud of. Dad nodded his head and closed the Bible in his lap.
“Good. I’d hate to hear you were messed up with the likes of Beau. Breaking up with Sawyer is probably a good thing. You two were too serious and you have college coming next year. You need to be free of a boy so you can focus on your future.”
He stood up and sat his Bible on the coffee table. His green eyes met mine and he pointed to the book he’d just laid down. “Bad company corrupts good manner. If you read your Bible more often you’d know this.”
I watched him turn and head for his bedroom. I really wished he didn’t make me hate to read the Bible. Having it shoved down my throat all my life had made me bitter towards reading it. I believed it. But my dad had used it to his benefit too many times and ignored the parts in there that would point out his wrongs. Like judging Beau without even knowing him. That was in the Bible too.