But the connection was definitely there, and all of a sudden he felt the promise of his future rather than the loss of his past. They’d have to go slow, he figured, give themselves as well as Sam time to adjust to everything, give themselves time to see if things really would work out between them, instead of rushing in and maybe making a mistake that would upset Sam’s world even more.
But they had time. He smiled, thinking about how much fun they’d have.
Lolly did her best to forget what had happened today, and she pushed her worry about tomorrow out of her head. The howling wind had stopped and icy rain no longer pelted the windows. But the roads would still be coated with ice, and she still heard the occasional crack and crash of a falling tree or heavy limb. There was no telling what she and Gabriel would encounter after they walked out her door tomorrow, headed for Wilson Creek and safety.
At the moment she was happy to be right here, warm and in Gabriel’s loose but secure embrace.
As a teenager she’d had such a crush on him, and she’d been supremely annoyed with him for not returning, or even being aware of, her tender feelings. Looking back, she realized that there had been absolutely no reason for him to know what she’d been feeling. She hadn’t told him, or anyone else. She hadn’t even looked his way, unless he picked a fight with her and she responded. At fifteen, she hadn’t been so logical. Though to be honest, what fifteen-year-old was well acquainted with logic?
There was something very appealing about a man who talked with such evident love about his son, who sacrificed everything so that his child could have a secure and happy home. She worried less about tomorrow’s long walk to town than she would have otherwise, because she knew Gabriel would not only do everything in his power to get them there as soon as possible, he’d also be damn sure to get them there safely—if not for her, or for himself, then for Sam.
Sleep was creeping up on her fast. She could feel oblivion, welcome, certain. But she wasn’t ready to fall just yet.
“I’ll probably be back in Wilson Creek a time or two in the next few months,” she said softly. “Even if I hire someone to pack up the house, there will be papers to sign to put it on the market, and then when it sells I’ll have to come here to see to the legalities.” She was almost positive she could handle the details long distance, but … maybe she didn’t want to.
“I try to get back at least every other month,” Gabriel said casually. “Sometimes it’s just for a couple of days, but I have to see Sam whenever I get the chance.”
Duh. All his talk of a date was just a way to kill time, maybe an attempt to make her forget what had happened tonight. When Gabriel came back to Wilson Creek he wanted to be with his family, most particularly his son, not a girl he barely remembered from high school.
And then he added, “You should meet Sam. When it warms up we can go fishing.” She didn’t immediately respond, so he added, “You don’t fish, do you?”
“I’m world-class at reaching into the freezer and pulling out some filets,” she said, smiling. “I could probably learn. From what I’ve seen it doesn’t appear to be too demanding.” She tried to picture a warm summer day, the lake, the three of them fishing and maybe picnicking on a large, checkered blanket … and she couldn’t do it. The picture she tried to create in her mind didn’t quite come together.
She didn’t belong. Lolly realized she wasn’t a part of the picture and never would be. Still, it was a nice illusion, a pleasant way to push aside reality for a while. “I make great chocolate chip cookies and a killer pasta salad. We could have a picnic, too.” She closed her eyes, and for a moment she was there, she belonged in that picture. Maybe it wasn’t real, maybe it would never be real, but as she drifted toward sleep she got caught up in the fantasy, then sleep overtook her and she went under fast and deep.
The sunlight sparkled like diamonds on the ice-coated trees; overhead, the sky was a pure, crisp blue. It would be a breathtaking scene, Lolly thought, if she was looking at it through a window with a blazing fire behind her, or maybe standing on a beach in Florida looking at a postcard. Instead she was part of the picture, which included cold air, a slick surface beneath her feet, and the occasional obstacle of a fallen limb or tree, for good measure—in case walking downhill on a sheet of ice wasn’t challenge enough.
Not knowing when she’d be able to make it back, Lolly had stuffed what she needed in her pockets. Keys, driver’s license, cash, credit cards, cell phone, which would be useless until they reached the highway. Everything else had been left behind. There was no telling when she’d be able to collect her Mercedes. She might have to arrange alternate transportation to Portland and come back for her vehicle once the roads were clear. That all depended on how bad things were in town, and how badly blocked the roads up the mountain were.
At least her clothing today was better suited to the weather. She had on her own thick, hooded coat, her boots, her gloves. At least the sun was shining, and they could see where they were going. At least they weren’t being chased by homicidal drug addicts. All in all, today was much better than last night, even though the air was so cold she could barely breathe it and had to keep her nose and mouth covered with a scarf. The sunlight on the ice was almost blinding, and both she and Gabriel wore shades. Compared to last night, though, this was a walk in the park. It was cold, sure, but there was no cutting wind, no rain. All that was left were the remnants of the storm—the fallen trees, the icy ground, the crisp, cold air.