“I didn’t know I was in love with her,” he said, and then stopped before looking up at his father through slightly blurred eyes.
Since she’d told him about his daughter, all he’d been thinking about was the fact that she hadn’t told him, but he was in love with Alyssa. He was in love with her smile, with her laughter, with the way she couldn’t seem to get close enough to him while she was sound asleep, with how kind she was to strangers, and how loyal she was to her family, with how accepting she was of him, faults and all. He loved her more than he thought he was capable of loving a woman.
“I really do love her, Dad. The kind of love that means I never want to let her go.”
“Well, of course you do, boy. You don’t chase after a woman as hard as you’ve chased after Alyssa just to mess up some bedsheets. You chase after her because the thought of being without her is incomprehensible.”
“I guess we’ve both kept secrets from one another,” Jackson said.
“Yeah. We all tend to do that. It’s never wise to keep secrets and it’s never good to lie, but we are all human, and we make mistakes. Don’t let stupid pride keep you from living a life of happiness with a wonderful woman. She’s worth letting the past go, and she’s worth believing in. I couldn’t be happier for you.”
Then his father did something he didn’t do nearly as often as he had when Jackson was younger. He walked up and gave him a solid hug, patting him on the back before stepping back, but with his hands firmly on Jackson’s shoulders.
“Don’t let her get away, and don’t make her suffer too long. She’s been through enough.”
Jackson stood there for a moment without saying a word, and then he felt the remainder of his anger drain away.
“You’re right, Dad. Life is too short. I’ve wasted enough time with issues that don’t matter, and I’ve spent enough years punishing myself for not being able to save Olivia. I’m ready to give my heart to Alyssa and our daughter, and I think they will hold it just fine.”
“Go get the girl, Jackson.”
Jackson turned around and ran back to his truck. It was time to tell Alyssa exactly how he felt about her. It was time for both of them to let go of old hurts and to move forward so they could enjoy the rest of their lives and raise their daughter well—plus, he very much hoped, a few more kids.
It was time to free himself from too many years of pain and sorrow.
Opening the door to his house, Jackson looked around for Teresa, but didn’t see her. He walked to the back, where Alyssa was sitting on the couch, her face awash with tears, her cheeks red, and the light vanquished from her beautiful blue eyes.
He found a note from Teresa on the end table, telling him that she’d left because his father had called and said he was on his way back to talk to Alyssa. Jackson almost smiled when he read her last sentence:
Get it together and both of you quit denying your love.
Love,
Your future mother-in-law, Teresa
Without saying a word, he kneeled before Alyssa, hating her look of utter defeat. He had done this to her. He only hoped he could make it right again. He only hoped that his love would show through and they could indeed both forgive each other.
“I’m sorry, Alyssa.”
She didn’t speak and he worried that he’d pushed her too far, that he’d somehow taken her remaining strength. Standing up, he moved to the bathroom and ran a bath. She always seemed to relax when she took them at home.
Her injuries had been extensive and maybe this would help. When he came back out, the vacant look in her eyes made him feel like a monster. Taking her hand, he pulled her to her feet. “Let’s get you in the tub. I’m sure that will help after your two weeks in the hospital.”
She said nothing as he led her to the bathroom. But her eyes filled with tears when the scent of jasmine hit her. It was her favorite and he’d stocked up for when she was able to come back home. It was those small things he knew about her that should have clued him in so much earlier about how much he cared.
He knew that when it rained she would get a big smile on her face and rush outside to feel it soak her face. She’d said that was because she’d lived in Texas for so long, and rain was a real treat. He’d see whether the rain in Montana still made her smile after a particularly wet spring. He also knew she liked to make smiley faces on her pancakes with the syrup, and she always sang in the shower.
These were only a few things he knew about her, and he would enjoy spending the rest of his life learning so much more. And he planned to open up his entire life to her, because there was no use in keeping anything from her because he loved her—he wanted her to know him inside and out.
“We’ll talk more, but for now, let’s have a bath and relax. I’m not going to hurt you anymore. I promise,” he whispered. He moved his hands gently down her sides and found the hem of her shirt.
She lifted her arms, and he pulled the shirt over her head and felt a stirring inside, but he quickly stopped it. This wasn’t the time. Tonight was for healing, not seduction. He’d soon stripped her bare and then he held her hand as she stepped over the side of the tub and sank into the scented water.
Jackson thought about leaving for all of two seconds, and then he undressed and slid in behind her, needing to hold her, to assure her they were fine, that they were more than fine because they were together. He leaned against the back of the tub, then pulled her back against his chest.
She tensed for only an instant before her body melted against his and she let a small sigh escape from her lips. Slowly, carefully, with a gentleness he didn’t know he possessed, Jackson ran his soapy hands over her body, being gentle where she was still healing. The feel of her skin beneath his fingers was torture and yet comforting at the same time.
“In New York, I made some assumptions,” he started, not knowing how to say this. She was quiet as she waited for him to continue. “I assumed that we were simply two strangers passing in the night. I assumed that we could have sex and walk away. I assumed that, as a model, you probably did that sort of thing often,” he admitted, feeling horrible when she flinched. “I now know that I was so very wrong.”
How had he been so blind? How could he have ignored his feelings for her? Yes, he’d wanted her, but it was so much more, even then. Though he’d promised himself it would never happen again, though he’d done everything in his power not to fall in love, it had snuck up on him.