The air around us grew heavy, and I immediately regretted having brought up such a vile part of my life. I pulled my knees into my chest and hugged them, hoping if I was still and quiet that JC would get the hint and let the moment pass.
He shifted, propping himself up on one elbow. “About your father…”
I swore silently to myself, wishing I hadn’t brought my asshole dad up. I did not want to ruin the night discussing him.
JC seemed to disagree. “We should talk about him.”
He paused, and I took the opportunity to cut him off with a sudden idea. “Remember that day before, well, before you left? When we said let’s not talk about anything too serious so we could pretend we didn’t have baggage for just one more day?” I waited for his affirmation. “Can we do that again tonight?”
He raised a questioning brow.
I wasn’t sure how to explain it, but I had a feeling he already understood. “It’s like you said about not wanting to talk about Dom and his crew,” I said after a beat, letting my knees fall to the side. “It’s a first date. There shouldn’t be baggage on first dates.”
“No sex. No baggage,” he teased. “I must really like you to tolerate all these rules.”
My stomach flipped, and all he’d said was that he liked me. I was strangely afraid of how I’d react if he said he felt more. “I know you’re not a fan of rules. I promise to try not to have any more.”
“I guess I can live with these. For one night, anyway.” Despite his words, his body was tight with apprehension.
Which made me doubt my game plan. Maybe I was going about this wrong. Putting restrictions on topics certainly didn’t lend to getting to know someone better. But he’d had secrets first.
And why was he so eager to talk about my father, anyway? Or was there something else that he’d planned on telling me? How many secrets did he have?
I hated the idea that we still had mysteries and walls and things we couldn’t say, and yet here I was perpetuating their existence. It was so much easier with Chandler. Though he and I hadn’t had many heart-to-hearts, it never felt like there had been any barriers between us.
Was JC the wrong guy? And if so, why was he the one I wanted so much?
I shivered.
“Are you cold?” He began stripping off his jacket before I answered. “Here, take this.” He shifted closer and helped me put it on, zipping me up. “Better?”
I wasn’t that chilly, but I liked the gesture too much to refuse it. The whole right side of my body was touching his, and even now that I had the jacket on, he stayed close, and all thoughts of Chandler disappeared. “Yeah. Much.”
Unfamiliar ink on JC’s left forearm caught my eye. He’d had the grid with December seventeenth on his right arm before I met him. But this one I hadn’t seen. “You got a new tattoo. December nineteenth? What’s special about that day?”
He glanced down at his arm and back up at me. The pier lights went dim right then, throwing his face in shadows. “The fireworks are starting. I’ll tell you later.”
He put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. His heat radiated into me, warming me as we watched the rockets light up the night. Bright blues and reds and twinkling whites rained over us like falling stars. It was dazzling as fireworks shows always were, and even more so because the brilliance was happening inside me as well as in the sky. Soon, I succumbed to the crowd’s giddy buzz of delight, all the while pretending that I didn’t know there were things JC was trying to tell me that I wasn’t willing to hear.
And I fell in love with him a little bit more because he knew I was pretending, and for now anyway, he let me.
Chapter Ten
“Do you like your new job?”
The fireworks had been over for two hours. After our picnic had been packed up and retrieved by Dom, we’d found a secluded area on the grass behind the carousel, away from the small pockets of people that lingered, carousing and partying. Occasionally the sound of bottle rockets and finger snaps filled the air, mirroring my current state of emotions. While before my anxiousness about us had been loud and blaring like the bursts in the sky, now it was subdued, shrieking in sporadic flares that died quickly.
Currently, we were lying on the grass parallel to each other, staring at the sky, my feet by his head, playing a game of questions.
The latest was easy to answer. “Yes, actually. I love my job. I love the increase in managerial control. I love working for a place that is on the verge of being something special. I love the staff. And the Pierces—Hudson and Alayna—she’s the one who let you in and he’s¸ well, he’s Hudson Pierce. Everyone knows who he is. They’re the first real friends I’ve had, well, ever.”