I drew in breath and followed.
Before I even got close to him, he warned, “Not in the mood to talk about it, Frannie.”
I stopped and stared at his back, noting his movements of putting the burgers on the flame were stilted, but noting this only vaguely.
My mind raced for something to say.
It seemed to take eons but I finally caught on it.
“I’m here for you when you are, my love.”
“Right,” he bit off.
“Like you always are for me.”
“Yeah,” he stated dismissively.
He wanted no more words said.
Yet I sensed I should not leave it at that.
I hesitated a moment before I admitted, “You’re clearly feeling something upsetting and I want to help, but I don’t know how.”
He turned, dropping the lid on his grill, and growled, “You can help by opening up the chips. I’m fuckin’ hungry.”
He then prowled right by me and into the house.
I kept my eyes to the grill, deciding the next day I was going to start practicing slicing tomatoes at Valentine’s.
I could open a packet of chips.
But it was becoming clear that after experiencing the exquisite glow of realizing you’d found the man you’d love for eternity and he’d found you right back, life intruded.
I needed to be brave and face that life head on. I needed to be able to cope with whatever came at me. But more, at Noc.
I needed to learn to do what he did.
Support. Nurture. Care. Understanding.
And I had no skills in those areas.
I couldn’t even slice his tomato.
But I could learn to slice a bloody tomato.
And I had to learn it all.
* * * * *
Noc pulled me down on his cock, I gasped at the silken violence of it and watched as he came.
We were both seated, me in Noc’s lap, my legs wrapped around his hips, his legs stretched beyond me.
He’d already given mine to me. So in his moment, I simply held him in my arms, and when his head fell forward, his forehead resting on my shoulder, I buried my face in his neck.
“I love you,” I whispered there, and for once, words of such grave import felt like they meant very little at all, for I knew I should be giving him so much more.
He turned his lips to my skin and kissed me before he whispered back, “Love you too, Frannie.”
His words did not feel the same as mine.
They felt like they gave me everything.
With nothing further, he pulled me off him, set me gently in the bed and exited it, not going to the bathroom before he twitched the covers over me.
Nurture.
Care.
He was back in no time, pulling me into his embrace, burrowing into me, holding me tucked close, my back curved into his front.
He said nothing, and after a short period of time, I sensed him drift to sleep.
I did not.
He’d held his mood throughout the evening, therefore I was surprised with his continued distance when he’d instigated lovemaking.
I was surprised but I did not demur.
It was what he needed, what I always wanted, and last, it was the only thing I knew how to give.
He deserved more.
I did not know how to give it to him.
But as I lay in his embrace, feeling his strength and heat swathing me, protective and fortifying even in his sleep, I knew the time I allowed excuses to delay me were over.
There would be no more excuses.
I needed to give my Noctorno more.
Chapter Twenty-Four
And I You
Franka
“Franka.”
The sharp tone pulled me from my musings and I focused on Valentine where she sat opposite me in her magic room in her home.
She was staring at me irritably.
“Did you hear a word I said?” she queried with the same irritability.
Unfortunately, I had not.
“I beg your pardon. I have a number of things on my mind,” I shared.
“This has not escaped me,” she retorted. “However, I take the needs of my clientele very seriously and as I’m offering you your first assignment, regardless that it’s as simplistic as casting a love spell, it’s important for you to be very clear on the client’s needs.”
“Of course,” I murmured.
“To make a point that needs not be made, it wouldn’t do for you to erroneously cast a spell on the employer our client hates, even if he’s rather handsome and exceptionally wealthy, when it’s the maintenance man she’s secretly in love with,” she continued.
“Yes, obviously,” I replied.
She gazed at me. “Not that I wish to become involved, but is everything well with you and Noctorno?”
It was not.
Oh no.
Definitely not.
One could say, tragically accurately, I had not been dealing with things well.
But last night I made things worse.
Starting the morning some days ago after his father’s phone call, Noc had decided that he was going to ignore what occurred. He’d swept away the distant mood he’d treated me to the evening before and again became Noc.
This was, until he came home that evening and I attempted to broach the subject.
“Told you last night, not in the mood to talk about it,” he’d replied brusquely.
“Will there be a time you’ll be in the mood?” I’d inquired hesitantly.
“I am, I’ll let you know,” he’d stated conclusively.
And the subject, according to Noc, was done.
I will admit, my approach was weak and I’d allowed him to dismiss the discussion mostly because he again became aloof and I didn’t like it. Indeed, it frightened me enough I knew it would take some time for me to gather the courage to try again.