“The only impression I care that anyone gets is that we are enjoying each other’s company. We like one another. We are choosing to be together for as long as it lasts and that’s it. If anyone else has anything else to say or think about the situation they can fuck off.”
His hand rose up and wrapped around my wrist and before he blinked those wintery-looking eyes I could have sworn I saw a glimmer of emotion bright enough and hot enough to manifest into tears in that gaze. “I’ve never been with anyone like you, Dom.” His words were a whisper that floated right into the center of my chest. A punch: I could see coming that and duck and maneuver to evade. But those light words carried by murmurs were sneaky and got inside of me too fast to dodge.
I leaned forward so I could kiss him, so I could show him that I didn’t care who or what or why just as long as it was me and him. He kissed me back, but it was softly, reverently. It was a kiss that said thank you for something I didn’t even know that I did. I slid my hand over the sharp curve of his waist until I could reach his ass under the hem of his heavy coat. I gave the firm globe a playful squeeze and pulled back.
“I’ve never been with anyone like you either, Lando. You have a good heart, a soft center, but the parts that are hard – that you protect like I might try to steal them away from you – they have some really sharp and ugly pieces to them. I don’t know who made them that way but whoever it was wasn’t worth it.”
He put his hands on either side of my face and gave me a look that wrenched at my guts. I’d seen heartbreak before. I knew what it looked like because my mom had worn it ever since the day my dad died and Royal had been colored with the same brush for the few months it took her and Asa to get on the same page about their relationship. That’s what was on Lando’s face as he gazed into my eyes. Pure, unfiltered heartbreak.
“He was worth everything, but he didn’t think our relationship was and there is no going back to try and fix all the things that went wrong.” He sighed and bent forward so that his lips skimmed the outer shell of my ear. “I hurt for a long time, too, Dom. I was a man who was nothing more than my injuries. I did my best to heal, but I didn’t have anything that looked like a new normal until you showed up at my clinic. I want you to know that, however we end.”
It was my turn to curl my hand around the back of his head and brush my fingers through his longer hair.
“How can things begin if you’re already planning the ending? Doesn’t seem fair.”
His breath was warm and tingled the skin at the side of my neck. “You’re right. It doesn’t, so, since the beginning is where things usually seem perfect and the ending is always tragic, why don’t we just skip to the middle? There’re good things in the middle.”
It was his turn to run his hand over my chest until it came to rest over my heart.
Indeed … there were very good things in the middle and it was that center, that protected core that I think we were both trying to avoid and claim all at the same time.
Chapter 10
Lando
I woke up with a heavy arm wrapped around my chest and a thickly muscled thigh nestled between my own. All in all it wasn’t a bad start to any morning, but the fact that I couldn’t think of any other place that I wanted to be, that it was, in fact, the best way I had ever woken up, made alarm bells jangle in my head and had panic and unease slithering slippery and cold under my skin.
I saw it as clear as a bell last night when Dom talked to his cop buddies. Saw the longing, the anger that they were doing what he couldn’t do and I understood how much being a police officer really was tied to his identity. I knew he was going to get his job back. With him following his training regimen and finally letting his body heal in the correct way he was already 70 percent better than when he had first walked in my clinic door. His limp was almost gone and hardly noticeable anymore and though his shoulder was still tricky and too tight for him to use as his dominant hand, he was getting so good with his left side that it didn’t seem to matter. He was going to be back on the force, back in the direct line of fire before I knew it, and I was going to be back in the position of caring for a man who cared for something more than a relationship with me. It was disheartening and as cozy as I was, all wrapped up in Dom’s strong arms, I needed some space to get my head on straight.
I tried to slip out from under him and the covers without waking him up but as soon as I moved his eyes popped open and I was pinned in place by his earthy gaze.
“It’s Sunday. Where are you off to?” I had taken him back to my apartment after the hockey game mostly because it was closer to the arena than his was and after his declaration that he would never ask me to be anything other than I was, I couldn’t wait to get all over him. I was impatient. I was grateful. I was falling deeper and harder for this gruff cop I knew I was going to be able to hold on to indefinitely.
My escape plan had the major flaw in it that I couldn’t just bail on him and leave him in my bed while I did so.
I shoved my hair out of my eyes and scratched my chest absently. “I have a family thing I try to get to once a month on Sunday. Since this is the last Sunday of the month, I figured I’d better make an appearance.”
He lifted his arms up over his head and stretched, giving me a show of pure strength and masculinity as he did so. He ran a hand over his face and sat up so that the sheet that was barely covering him fell all the way down around his waist.
“I should rally my sisters and swing by for a visit with my mom, too. I haven’t seen much of her since I started training with you, and I’m sure she wants an update. I should go check on Royal, too. I need to make sure that pretty boy of hers is taking care of her the right way.” There was a tinge of humor in his voice as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and bent to pick up his jeans from where they had dropped the night before.