Those words have stuck with me and affected me most.
I want him to be happy. I want to be the one to make him happy.
He’s so quietly strong about everything that happened to him. He calls me strong, but he’s the one who is. He’s so brave.
Knowing all this has made me realize just what he truly means to me. It’s put everything into perspective.
I knew I cared about Kas. I just didn’t realize the extent.
I’m falling for him.
Listening to him this morning, finding out what had happened to him…I ached for him. I felt every pain that he felt. And I wanted to kill those bastards with my bare hands for what they had done to him…to her.
The depths of the way it wrecked me wasn’t just empathy for another human being. It’s because I’m falling for this beautiful, broken, complex man.
That is why I find myself taking the train to Westcott at six thirty p.m.
I just need to see him. Talk to him.
Exiting the train at my stop, I walk the twenty minutes to the Matis Estate.
And then I’m standing outside the gates before I know it.
I key in the code on the keypad, and as soon as the gates part, I slip between them and walk up the long driveway to the house.
When I reach the house, I see that Kas’s car is parked out front, so I know for sure that he’s home. I don’t know what I was planning to do if he wasn’t. Probably wait here until he showed up.
I walk up to the front door and knock. Then, I wait.
It’s not long before I hear his footsteps approaching, and the door swings open.
“Daisy.” He doesn’t look surprised to see me.
As far as I know, they don’t have cameras on the Matis Estate, so he couldn’t have seen me coming.
Weird.
“Hi.” I smile tentatively.
He’s dressed in black lounge pants and a white T-shirt. His feet are bare.
He looks beautiful. Tired but beautiful.
My beautiful, broken man.
He stands aside to let me in and closes the door once I’m inside.
“Can I get you something to drink?” he asks softly.
“Coffee would be great.”
Kas heads off to the kitchen. I take my shoes off and hang my coat up before following after him.
When I get there, he’s making our coffees. I lean my hip against the center island, watching him move around the kitchen.
He walks toward me with a cup in each hand and hands one to me.
“Thanks.” I smile.
“Do you want to sit in the lounge?” he asks.
“Sure.”
I follow him through to the lounge in silence.
There’s a clear discomfort between us, for obvious reasons. I just hope that I can clear that away and put us back on a good path. Hopefully, together.
Kas sits down on the two-seater at the far side of the room. He places himself in the center of the sofa.
I get the distinct impression that he doesn’t want me sitting next to him. So, I take a seat on the sofa opposite him.
He leans forward. Elbows on knees, cup cradled in both hands, he looks at me.
Leaning over, I put my cup on the coffee table that sits between us.
“I’m sorry to just turn up,” I start. “But I wanted to talk to you, and I didn’t want to do it over the phone.”
“It’s fine.” He reaches over and puts his cup down on the coffee table without taking a drink. “Look, Daisy, I know you came here to talk, but there’s something I want to get off my chest first.”
“Okay…” I say hesitantly, biting my lip.
“Well, this morning, I didn’t get to say this, but I am sorry for turning up drunk at your place last night.”
“Kas, it’s fine.” I offer a smile. “It was my turn to take care of drunk you anyway.” I’m trying to lighten the mood, referring back to my drunken state when he took care of me, but it clearly doesn’t work, as his expression remains stoic.
He pulls his eyes from my face and stares down at his hands, which are now clasped tightly together. “I also want to say that I’m sorry for leaving you at Superhumans. It was wrong of me to just abandon you like I did.”
“You hardly abandoned me. And you were upset. It was understandable.”
“That might be, but it doesn’t make it okay.”
“Kas, it’s fine. Honestly, I was fine.”
His eyes lift back to mine. “But you might not have been, and I know that better than anyone. I left you alone and crying on an industrial estate. I just fucking drove away and left you. Anything could’ve happened to you.”
“But it didn’t,” I say softly. “I’m fine. I was at your building. Nothing was going to happen to me.”
He nods, but I can see that he’s not going to forgive himself for that. And I understand why he thinks the way he does. After what happened to him, I don’t think I’d be able to leave the house, let alone allowing people I care about to move about the world alone.
“How did you get home?” he asks quietly.
“Cece came and picked me up.”
“God.” He laughs a humorless sound. “I bet she thinks I’m a real fucking winner. Stranding you alone on our date and then showing up drunk at your apartment.”
I frown at his dressing-down of himself. “Cece doesn’t think badly of you, Kas.”
Black eyes flash to mine. I see the panic in them.
“She knows what happened to me?”
“No.” I vehemently shake my head. “I might be a snoop, but I would never tell anyone else what you told me. It’s your story to tell…not mine. All Cece knows is that I crossed a line, and I upset you.”