He nods his head in acceptance of what I said.
“Kas, can I ask…or should I assume that no one else here knows?”
He shakes his head. “After it happened and I was released from the hospital and came back home, it was…hard for me. My parents made the decision to move out of London and start fresh. My dad had a really good job; it paid him well. He and my mum were never big spenders, so they had a lot in savings. They sold the house in London, and it left them with a substantial amount of money. So, they bought this place. They wanted me to be somewhere I could feel safe…or where they wouldn’t worry about my safety.”
“Your parents sound really great.” I give him a gentle smile.
“Yeah, they are. What happened affected them, too. My mother won’t go into London anymore…” He trails off. “It’s only been recently that they’ve started going over to Greece for extended periods of time without me. Even though they both call me every day to check in.” Shaking his head, he laughs lightly.
“I’m glad you have them,” I tell him.
He stares at me, and for a moment, I get lost in his gaze.
“So, um…I came here to talk…well, tell you some things.” I shift to the edge of the sofa, curling my hands around the cushion. “Firstly, just to get it out of the way, I didn’t come in to work today, as I thought you might need some time and space. And, honestly, I needed to process everything.”
“I don’t care about work, Daisy.”
“Well, I do. And I want you to know, I’ll make the time up this weekend.”
Knowing what I have to say next, my mouth is suddenly very dry, so I pick my coffee up and take a sip.
He’s still watching me when I put the cup down.
My heart starts to beat a hard tune in my chest. I hold my hands together in my lap. “But, work aside, that wasn’t why I came to see you. I just wanted to tell you that…well, no, not tell you.” I’m rambling. Stop rambling, Daisy. “I want you to know what you mean to me. And I, um…well…”
I’m twisting my hands in my lap. I lick my dry lips and take a fortifying breath.
“I…care about you.” I’m falling for you. “And I wanted you to know that.” And, clearly, I’m too chickenshit to tell you that I’m falling for you. “And I know I broke your trust, prying into your life like I did, and I am beyond sorry for that. And I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me…and that I want to be with you…more than anything.”
He’s not speaking. He’s just staring at me, expressionless.
And my heart sinks. “Okay…well, I guess I should go.” I shoot to my feet and start walking quickly to the door.
“Wait.”
Stupid hope makes my heart pause.
I turn back to him. He’s standing now.
“I don’t want you to go,” he whispers.
“You don’t?”
“No.”
My body trembles as I watch him slowly walk toward me.
My heart is trying its best to climb out of my throat.
I nervously swallow down.
Kas stops in front of me and cups my face in his hands.
His scent surrounds me. His breath blowing gently on my skin.
“Daisy…I haven’t felt anything for a long time. I was dead inside. I guess, to a large degree, I still am. But that moment you came into my life, it was like…taking a breath for the first time in seven years.” He presses his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. “I didn’t want to feel anything for you, so I fought my feelings and pushed you away, but all the pushing and fighting didn’t change the fact that I wanted you more than I’d ever wanted anyone.” Looking at me, he inhales softly. “I…I care about you, too. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
I press my hands to his chest, and he inhales sharply. Almost like my touch has burned him. And I know how he feels because my whole body is burning for him.
“It’s selfish, and I know I don’t deserve you…but I want you so fucking much.”
“Kas…” I whisper, closing my eyes. “I want you, too. So much.”
He takes a shallow breath. I feel his face leave mine.
I blink open my eyes and stare up at him. The look in his eyes causes me to pause. My pulse starts to thrum.
“There’s something you need to know.”
“Okay…” I say, my voice betraying my nerves.
“Daisy, after what happened that night…I wasn’t able to…” His eyes slide away from mine. Looking past me, he takes a deep breath. “I haven’t been with a woman in over seven years.”
Oh. Wow.
“Haley was the last person I…” He lets his words drift. “After that night, what they did to Haley…what I saw…it haunted me. I was screwed up for a long time. And I had issues…with the scarring on my body. I still do. But, as the years have gone on and with the help of therapy…well, for a few years now, it’s not that I don’t want to have sex. It’s more that I’ve wanted it to be with someone who mattered, and no one has mattered…until you.”
I matter.
My heart fills with joy.
Moving a hand from his chest, I press it to his cheek. I stare into his eyes. “We don’t have to have sex, Kas. We can take this as slow as you need to. So long as we’re together, that’s all I care about.”
His dark eyes bore into mine. “But that’s just it. I don’t want to wait anymore. I’ve already waited so fucking long for you, Daisy. I want you now—tonight.” He pulls me closer, gently brushing his lips over mine. “Spend the night with me.”