"No one knows you're with me?" I growled.
She looked smug, "That depends... I assume you told Alice?" she pondered.
She thought that Alice knowing would make me want to bring her back?
"That's very helpful, Bella," I snapped, but at the sound of her name exiting my lips the electricity flared up and that new creature sent a lump to my throat. This... desire; a longing; ripped through my body. I glared at her then and she was looking out the windshield like the conversation never took place, so nonchalant. Anger suddenly flared again.
"Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" I hissed.
"You said it might cause trouble for you... us being together publicly," she reminded me.
Unbelievable! She was worried about my safety, "So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me - if you don't come home?" my voice rose on the last word.
She never looked away from the road, but nodded her head. She didn't look at all troubled about this!
Unbelievable, I muttered so low she couldn't understand me.
What could she possibly be thinking? Maybe she was sent here from my own personal hell to destroy me! Great - first her scent, then her ever growing presence in my life, and her unspoken thoughts; now she was essentially handing herself over to me on a silver platter. If I hadn't been continuously worried about my family she would have been dead when I first inhaled her heady scent. Now it was this precious soul in the car that I didn't want to destroy, and she was making it inconceivably hard not to. She was driving me to her demise.
Insane. It was the only word to describe her actions. Maybe masochistic?
Bella never took her eyes off the road. She must know that I was infuriated. The road did, though, inevitably end. There was a trail marked by a wooden sign; we would be going the opposite direction. She pulled the truck over, put it in park, and hoped out without one glance in my direction. I was immediately anxious that she didn't want to spend the rest of the day with me. Did I hurt her feelings? If she left me now - would I let her? Would she forgive me?
I pulled my sweater off and placed it in the truck. It was unnecessary for me to wear something that was supposed to bring warmth when I was a cold creature. I was secretly hoping that the sun would warm my skin when it eventually appears through the clouds. I shut the door harder then I intended. I turned towards the forest and quietly reminded myself, no mistakes.
"This way," I called to her.
I glanced over my shoulder to see her confused expression, "The trail?" she asked, terror in her voice. She had removed her sweater too, and it was tied securely around her waist.
"I won't let you get lost," I said with a mocking tone.
She continued to stare at me without moving. Was she frightened now? I couldn't tell for sure - was she about to run away? Run Bella, run, I thought, then added, stay Bella, stay. She still didn't move, and I was again asking myself the ever prominent question, what is she thinking? I remembered that the best way to break her from her dejection was to guess what she was thinking. She would correct me if I were wrong, so I asked, "Do you want to go home?" Pain broke through my voice without my permission.
"No," she answered while walking towards me until she was close enough that I could feel the warmth of her body wash over me like a tidal wave.
Her delectable scent made the monster inside me initiate it's slow clawing up my throat. I looked in her eyes, and there was still something distressing her. Fear maybe?
"What's wrong?" I asked, apprehensive.
"I'm not a good hiker," she looked glum; "You'll have to be very patient."
This wasn't a challenge. "I can be patient - if I make a great effort." I stared into her eyes and smiled, hoping she would realize that I wasn't lying. She didn't look convinced. Maybe she was finally coming to her senses. Was she afraid? Was it really fear I was sensing? Fear, I scoffed internally.
"I'll take you home," I assured her.
Abruptly she responded, "If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way," she hissed.
So it wasn't fear that I saw, it was anger? Of course, I thought. I stood there frozen for a moment and frowned. I concealed a sigh and started towards the forest.
I knew the forest well, and I chose a path that would be easiest for Bella. There were a few places where I had to move branches and hold down ferns to help her pass. When boulders and downed trees were in our path I hesitated only briefly. I didn't want to offer my hand, still worried that my ice cold skin would repulse her. I concentrated a great deal when I finally reached out to steady her by lifting her by her elbow. I knew if I were to hold any part of her body besides there, my desires would take over and I would bring my cold lips to her soft, warm ones. Each time I helped her, her heart would skip a beat, stutter, falter, and then rapidly pick up in double time. A few times I was worried that her heart had completely stopped.
At one moment, I was helping her over a tree when the thought of kissing her sent a rush of desire through my body and I almost dropped her. She didn't notice. She was concentrating intently on not falling or tripping. After walking in silence for some distance, I decided to distract myself by asking her some more questions. She told me about some of her birthdays with her mother and stories about her grade school teachers. Each time she looked at me her breath sent a rush of longing and electricity through me. I thought of a few more questions, but the funniest answer I heard all day was when I asked her about family pets.
"I have to admit, after killing three fish in a row, I'd given up on the whole institution," she told me.