She gasped and I turned to look at her, afraid I had said too much. I don't know why, but I continued, refusing to have secrets between us.
"I don't remember it well - it was a very long time ago, and human memories fade." I tried to sift through my memories of that time, but they were dark and unfocused.
"I do remember how it felt, when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget." I told her.
I wanted to tell her the truth, but some things, like how painful the transformation is, and how agonizing it could be, were not something I wanted to divulge quite yet.
"You're parents?" she insisted on more information.
"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That is why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."
"How did he...save you?" she asked.
There was no way I would explain the transformation process, so I tried to explain with as little details as possible, "It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us...I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history." I paused, "for me, it was merely very, very painful." And that was all I would say, if she were to ask anything more, I would refuse.
I stared at her then and could see the curiosity in her eyes, but she could tell that I wouldn't say anything more on this subject and didn't ask any more questions. Her expressions made me feel like I should explain why Carlisle turned me, "He acted from loneliness. That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating." I clarified.
"So you must be dying, then, to become..." She didn't say the last word, and I was grateful.
"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice." I spoke of him with respect, "It is easier he says, though, if the blood is weak." The sun finally went below the horizon, and I gazed down the dark road.
"And Emmett and Rosalie?" She wondered.
She was curious about our family, and I would inevitably give her whatever she wished, "Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping she would be to me what Esme was to him - he was careful with his thoughts around me," I rolled my eyes; like anyone, except Bella, could conceal their thoughts from me, "But she was never more than a sister. It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting - we were in Appalachia at the time - and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her." I raised our hands and I brought them to her face where I brushed her cheek, to point out that after smelling her sweet blood, there is no way that carrying a bloody human for miles would have anything on the thirst I felt for Bella.
Bella looked at me then, "But she made it." She was looking for more answers.
"Yes," I whispered, "She saw something in his face that made her strong enough. And they've been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school," I chuckled, "I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years, again." Which I will inevitably have to play the best man, again, I added mentally.
Bella continued to question me, now that I was being flippantly open with her, "Alice and Jasper?"
"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another...family, a very different kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind."
Bella interrupted me then, "Really? But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts."
"That's true. She knows other things. She sees things - things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change." I explained to her, hoping this bit of news wouldn't scare her off.
I suddenly remembered her vision of vampire Bella. I instantly became furious at myself, and clenched my teeth. I looked at Bella then, her eyes were intrigued, and I looked away before she could read my anger.
Bella pulled me from my distraction, "What kinds of things does she see?"
I wouldn't dare tell her about Alice's visions of her, so I settled on a story, "She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example, when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."
I remembered Alice and Jasper showing up at our house. She knew all of our names and asked which room she could move into. I was out on a hunting trip when she first arrived, and she decided she wanted my room and packed all of my stuff up and put it in the garage. Bella's question pulled me from my musings; "Are there a lot of...your kind?" she looked surprised.
I tried to reassure her, "No, not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting people." I quickly looked in her direction, hoping I hadn't made yet another mistake. She didn't flinch so I continued, "can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live...differently tend to band together."