"Charlie?" I asked curtly. "Renée?"
A blank silence greeted my words. She was opening and closing her mouth like words wouldn't form. I waited for her response, but obviously, she didn't have one. Did she finally reach her senses?
"Look, that's not an issue either," she finally muttered an obvious lie.
Apparently she hasn't reached her senses.
"Renée has always made the choices that work for her -- she'd want me to do the same. And Charlie's resilient; he's used to being on his own. I can't take care of them forever. I have my own life to live."
Was she missing the key words here? If she were to stay human she would have a life to live. If she were a vampire, on the other hand, her life would just become this limitless existence that I refused to make her be a part of.
"Exactly," I snapped. "And I won't end it for you." My careful composure was slipping.
"If you're waiting for me to be on my deathbed, I've got news for you! I was just there!"
Lame justification.
"You're going to recover," I reminded her.
She took a deep breath at my words, returning my stare. There was no compromise in her face, and I wasn't budging either.
"No," Bella said slowly. "I'm not."
Anger vanished, fear replaced it. Was something else wrong with her...like cancer? Was she not telling me something? No, her life couldn't be like one of those sad stories you read about. My forehead automatically creased with worry.
"Of course you are. You may have a scar or two..."
"You're wrong," she insisted. "I'm going to die."
No! She was not going to die, she was going to live. I would fight for her, keep her alive. A sense of hopelessness engulfed me. My mind was lost in a desperate speculation. Panic flared within me.
"Really, Bella." Anxiety broke through my voice. "You'll be out of here in a few days. Two weeks at most."
She glared at me like I was an idiot. "I may not die now... but I'm going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I'm going to get old."
Relief, glorious relief. I frowned at her as her words finally released the tension that built so suddenly. My fingers found my temples as I began to rub them, trying to soothe my troubled mind, closing my eyes.
"That's how it's supposed to happen. How it should happen. How it would have happened if I didn't exist -- and I shouldn't exist."
She snorted. I opened my eyes in surprise.
"That's stupid. That's like going to someone who's just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, 'Look, let's just go back to how things should be. It's better that way.' And I'm not buying it."
She might have made a point if she used something besides the lottery as an example.
"I'm hardly a lottery prize," I growled, anger returning.
"That's right. You're much better," she pointed out.
I rolled my eyes and my lips grew tight. It doesn't matter what else she says, she's wasting her breath. To take her soul would be the last thing on earth I would do. She will stay human. Even if Alice tries to take a bite I will tackle and kill if I must. "Bella, we're not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that's the end of it." Now stop, I added internally.
"If you think that's the end, then you don't know me very well," she warned me. "You're not the only vampire I know."
I will stop her by any means. "Alice wouldn't dare," I growled aloud.
"Alice already saw it, didn't she?" She guessed. "That's why the things she says upset you. She knows I'm going to be like you... someday."
Dammit! I slipped up. Bella is just too perceptive. I'm going to have to be doubly careful what I say around her, choosing my words more carefully. It's just so hard in a heated argument.
"She's wrong," I barked angrily. "She also saw you dead, but that didn't happen, either."
"You'll never catch me betting against Alice," she retorted.
We glared at each other for several long minutes. The regular intervals of the machines continued into our silence. Bella's heart was weirdly steady considering the heated discussion we just had. She was lying down but her chin till jutted out, her forehead was creased with thought and her lips pursed. My angry expression cleared at her beauty. It was heard to stay upset with such a glorious creature.
"So where does that leave us?" She wondered.
I chuckled darkly. "I believe it's called an impasse."
She sighed. "Ouch," she muttered.
"How are you feeling?" I asked.
My eyes found the button for the nurse. I wanted to bring my original threat back into play if she didn't behave - sedation.
"I'm fine," she lied, her pain was breaking through the pretense.
"I don't believe you," I said gently.
"I'm not going back to sleep," she argued, refusing to let anyone think she was weak.
"You need rest. All this arguing isn't good for you."
"So give in," she suggested.
"Nice try."
She wasn't behaving. Time for impulsive action. I reached for the button.
"No!" Her eyes saw my hand reach out.
I ignored her.
"Yes?" the speaker on the wall squawked.
"I think we're ready for more pain medication," I said calmly, ignoring her furious expression.
"I'll send in the nurse."
"I won't take it," she said vehemently.
Pills? Doubtful. I looked toward the sack of fluids hanging beside her bed.
"I don't think they're going to ask you to swallow anything," I smiled ruefully.