"Who's to say what the better said is, Edward?" Bella mumbled to herself but Jacob heard.
My hand lifted without a conscious command for it to do so. As gently as if she were made of the thinnest glass, as if she were fragile as a bubble, my fingers stroked the warm skin that covered her cheekbone. It heated under my touch, and I could feel the pulse of blood speed beneath her transparent skin.
Enough, I ordered, though my hand was aching to shape itself to the side of her face. Enough.
"He doesn't sound too controlled now," Jacob muttered.
"He's touch is gentle... it's not hurting me," Bella said.
"But his mind doesn't seem to have control over his actions," Jacob countered. "His instincts do."
"And what instinct is he following now?" Bella raised her eyebrows. "It's not to hurt me."
"Right," Jacob mumbled, "but there still is an instinct in him that wants to hurt you... don't forget that."
"I won't," Bella sighed. "But that isn't the only instinct he has towards me now."
It was difficult to pull my hand back, to stop myself from moving closer to her than I already was. A thousand different possibilities ran through my mind in an instant - a thousand different ways to touch her. The tip of my finger tracing the shape of her lips. My palm cupping under her chin. Pulling the clip from her hair and letting it spill out across my hand. My arms winding around her waist, holding her against the length of my body.
Enough.
I forced myself to turn, to move away from her. My body moved stiffly - unwilling.
I let my mind linger behind to watch her as I walked swiftly away, almost running from the temptation. I caught Mike Newton's thoughts - they were the loudest - while he watched Bella walk past him in oblivion, her eyes unfocused and her cheeks red. He glowered and suddenly my name was mingled with curses in his head; I couldn't help grinning slightly in response.
"Too bad Mikey," Jacob said, trying to chuckle again.
My hand was tingling. I flexed it and then curled it into a fist, but it continued to sting painlessly.
No, I hadn't hurt her - but touching her had still been a mistake.
It felt like fire - like the thirsting burn of my throat had spread throughout my entire body.
The next time I was close to her, would I be able to stop myself from touching her again? And if I touched her once, would I be able to stop at that?
"Yes," Bella answered, there was no doubt in her, though Jacob wasn't totally convinced.
No more mistakes. That was it. Savor the memory, Edward, I told myself grimly, and keep your hands to yourself. That, or I would have to force myself to leave...somehow. Because I couldn't allow myself near her if I insisted on making errors.
I took a deep breath and tried to steady my thoughts.
Emmett caught up to me outside the English building.
"Hey, Edward." He's looking better. Weird, but better. Happy.
"Ah... and him being happy is weird," Jacob chuckled.
"Hey, Em." Did I look happy? I supposed, despite the chaos in my head, I felt that way.
Way to keep your mouth shut, kid. Rosalie wants to rip your tongue out.
"I like to see her try... and then get beaten down," Jacob chuckled.
"That's not very nice," Bella glared at him and he shrugged.
I sighed. "Sorry I left you to deal with that. Are you angry with me?"
"Naw. Rose'll get over it. It was bound to happen anyway." With what Alice sees coming...
"Don't mention that," Jacob flinched.
Alice's visions were not what I wanted to think about right now. I stared forward, my teeth locking together.
As I searched for a distraction, I caught sight of Ben Cheney entering the Spanish room ahead of us. Ah - here was my chance to give Angela Weber her gift.
"Ben Cheney," Bella mumbled and got out her year book to look at him. He was cute enough, though not her type at all. Still she studied the picture, if Angela and Ben liked each other she wanted them to be together in this reality, too. She thought that things might be different now that she knew what Edward was thinking about her, so she might have to be the one to help Ben and Angela out... argh... that wasn't really her strong point. Oh well, it will have to happen someway.
I stopped walking and caught Emmett's arm. "Hold on a second."
What's up?
"I know I don't deserve it, but would you do me a favor anyway?"
"What is it?" he asked, curious.
Under my breath - and at a speed that would have made the words incomprehensible to a human no matter how loud they'd been spoken - I explained to him what I wanted.
He stared at me blankly when I was done, his thoughts as blank as his face.
"That sound interesting," Jacob chuckled.
"So?" I prompted. "Will you help me do it?"
It took him a minute to respond. "But, why?"
"C'mon, Emmett. Why not?"
Who are you and what have you done with my brother?
Bella and Jacob both chuckled at this.
"Aren't you the one who complains that school is always the same? This is something a little different, isn't it? Consider it an experiment - an experiment in human nature."
He stared at me for another moment before he caved. "Well, it is different, I'll give you that... Okay, fine." Emmett snorted and then shrugged. "I'll help you."
I grinned at him, feeling more enthusiastic about my plan now that he was on board. Rosalie was a pain, but I would always owe her one for choosing Emmett; no one had a better brother than mine.
"Aw," Jacob said in teasing voice but Bella smiled at what Edward had just said.