The fighting around me, the yelling, the girls on the other side of the room shrieking, my heartbeat.
Everything. Stopped.
My eyes focused on my beautiful girl on the ground, Ethan’s hands under her arms. One eye was wide with what should have been shock but instead was outright fear, and the other was covered by her hand. Her mouth was slightly open, and as she took a staggering breath in and began to cover it with her other hand, my world unfroze and I dropped to my knees in front of her and tried to reach for her, but she flinched back into Ethan.
Cassidy flinched away from me.
It felt like I’d been shot in the chest with a shotgun.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Jackie screamed at me.
“Oh God, Cassidy!” I took a short, painful breath in. “Baby, are you all right? I’m—” Another painful breath. “I’m so sorry.”
I got to my feet and followed as Ethan lifted her up and walked quickly back to the bedroom with Jackie; Ty wasn’t far behind.
“Are you kidding me? You’re always going on about me hurting her and you hit her?!”
I felt like I was going to throw up. “I had no idea it was her, I didn’t even know she was in the room. God. Cassidy, are you okay? Please say something.” Ethan had already sat her on the bed so I got closer and gently touched her arm but she jerked away.
“Don’t touch her, you a**hole!” Tyler pushed me back and went toe-to-toe with me.
“Stop fighting,” Cassidy said in a soft, robotic voice. I turned and my heart broke when I saw the right side of her face was in that familiar, lifeless mask. “Tyler.”
“Yeah, sweetheart?” He squatted next to her and grabbed her hand, the smile on his face showing how happy he was that she was going back to him, like always.
“I need you to leave, I need some time—”
“Cassi, I’ve always—”
“Not anymore, not after what you did to me.” Her voice lost some of its mechanical sound and got soft as a whisper when her eyes focused on his. “You closed the window, Ty.”
I could see that was the one thing that could hurt Tyler the most. Having Cassidy say those last words, confusing as they were, killed him. He stood there wide eyed for a moment before nodding and walking out of the room. As much as I hated him, I still felt somewhat bad for him. I couldn’t imagine how much that hurt, but from the way Cass glanced up at me I thought I was about to find out.
“Ethan, Jackie, can you guys give us a minute, please?”
Fuck.
As soon as the door shut behind them, I looked up to see her looking at me. Her hand had left her face and I saw it was a deep red. I had no doubt she was going to have a massive black eye in the morning. I swallowed back bile and took two steps toward her.
“Do not touch me, Gage Carson.”
Oh God. What the hell have I done?
“Cassidy.” My voice came out rough and quiet. “I swear I didn’t know you were even in the room, darlin’. I would never hurt you.”
“A part of me knows that, Gage.”
A part of her. A part of her. What the hell?!
“But I can’t—I don’t—you . . . you . . .” Her mask slipped and her head fell into her hands; a sob instantly tore through her body.
Fuck this. I took the last two steps toward her and sank to the bed, pulling her into my arms and onto my lap. Her body jerked like I’d shocked her, but I kept my hold tight and didn’t let go. No way was I letting go.
“Cassidy, I love you so much.” My voice came out tight and I kissed the top of her head. “God, baby, I’m so sorry.”
CASSIDY
THIS WAS THE first time in many years that I’d cried after getting hit. But then again, this one was completely different from all the rest. This one was intended for someone else and was an act of self-defense; I knew that. Really, I did. But this one? This one was by far the worst hit I’d ever taken.
Walking out of the bedroom into the short hall had been like falling into a hellish nightmare. I hated any type of physical fighting. Hated it with every ounce of my being. And walking out to at least ten guys beating the crap out of each other had brought back flashbacks I’d worked so hard at erasing from my mind. Seeing Gage in the middle of it had taken it from hellish nightmare straight to hell. That was my personal hell, seeing Gage beating the crap out of Grant. I still didn’t know what started the fighting, or who started it, but that didn’t matter. For me, there is only one reason to fight someone, and it’s if they’re trying to take your life or the life of someone you love. But seeing as all those guys were close, I seriously doubted that was the case.
I shouldn’t have rushed in there, I should have yelled at Gage to stop. I’d been trying to yell, but I couldn’t make anything come out, and as for rushing in there . . . it was stupid, but I just wanted the fighting stopped. Instead, I’d taken an elbow to my eye. Considering what I’ve endured, it wasn’t that bad at all. I’d been so shocked by the way my head had snapped back so quickly, it took me a second to realize why I was falling backward, until I landed smack on my butt at the same time Ethan’s hands shot out to catch me. The pain in my eye and head finally registered as Gage turned around with a murderous glare in his eyes, his right arm cocked back, ready to strike again. And that was all I could see and feel anymore, even now.
Pain rushing through my head. Gage’s face twisted with rage and his fist aimed at me, ready to deliver another blow.
His arms tightened around me as he kissed the top of my head again. I brought my shaky hands up to his chest and pushed but he didn’t budge. I couldn’t be here in his arms, not when all I could see was that horrible image. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to get that out of my mind. It was evident my words hurt him, but I didn’t want to lie to him. A part of me did know that Gage would never hurt me. Before tonight all of me had known that, and although I knew he didn’t do it on purpose and it was my fault, my past wasn’t letting me comprehend that.
“Darlin’, I’m so, so—” His voice gave out on the last word and his forehead dropped into the crook of my neck.
I put pressure against his chest again and I felt him shake his head.
“Please don’t. Stop trying to push me away, Cassidy.” Gage sounded so pained, my breath caught and my hands stopped pushing, and I started clenching his shirt in my fists. “I love you.” He brought a hand up to my cheek and leaned his head in, pressing his full lips, soft as a feather, to my injured eye.
I tried to back away, but his arm tight around my waist kept me in place.
“I’m not them,” he said after he silently held me for a few more minutes. “I’ll never be them, darlin’. I saw it—” Gage’s voice hitched and he had to clear his throat. “I saw the fear in your eyes, Cass. I can’t imagine what you’re thinking right now, but if it were me, all I would be thinking about is them . . . what they did to you, and what I—what I just did. Damn it, I’m so sorry.” His arm around my waist tightened momentarily and his head went back to my neck.
With his forehead pressed into my throat, I could feel his hot breath against my chest, and then something light and wet was there. My body stilled and I focused completely on Gage. My arms had subconsciously wound themselves around his broad shoulders at some point and I could feel the tension and slight shudders in the muscles of his back. Before I could force myself to relax and run my hand along his back to soothe the rigid way he was holding himself, I felt that light wetness on my chest again, twice. I unlocked my body and wound my hands through his hair to bring his head away from my neck, glancing down at my chest for barely a moment before looking into Gage’s tortured, wet eyes.
Gage was crying.
Oh. My. God.
I’d seen him furious, I’d seen him bursting with joy, I’d seen him crushed, and I’d seen the love flowing freely from him as he looked at me. But I’d never once seen Gage Carson cry.
“Please, let me take you home and take care of you.” His voice was even deeper and huskier than usual.
If not for the emotional situation, I’m positive it would have sent a shot of desire straight through me. As it was, my body was now covered in goose bumps, and all I could do was nod my head.
HOURS LATER, I lay awake staring at the ceiling fan going slowly around and around in the living room. Gage and I hadn’t spoken a word to each other since he asked to take me home. When we’d gotten back to the town house, he’d gone straight to the bathroom to grab some Advil, then joined me in the kitchen. After I took a few and pressed the ice pack Gage made me to my face, he’d taken my hand and led me to the bedroom. And for the first time since we became us, I’d gotten ready for bed alone. He’d grabbed the mesh shorts he liked to sleep in during the hot months and walked into the bathroom to take a shower, shutting the door behind him and only opening it when he was coming back out to get in bed.
Before I could let myself get even more upset over this, I’d forced myself into the bathroom, gotten ready for bed, and walked into the bedroom, fully prepared to leave it and go to the other one. But Gage was sitting up in bed staring at me with that odd expression again, and when he noticed my body angled toward the door, he crawled off the bed, grabbed my hand, and pulled me back onto it with him, curling my small frame into his large one. With a few soft kisses to my neck and shoulder, he slowly slipped into sleep, and after a couple hours of not even being able to think of going to sleep, I quietly snuck out of bed and into the living room. I hadn’t moved since.
My phone vibrated and I frowned as I glanced down at it. It was almost three in the morning; who on earth was texting me this early? When I saw Tyler’s name, I almost didn’t read it, but with nothing else to do, and seeing as it was only a text, I opened it anyway.
TYLER
Cassi, are you up?! Has your mom called???
Mom? Why would she be calling me? I haven’t talked to her in . . . in . . . hell, I can’t even remember. Was it my birthday right after I moved here?
Um . . . no? Why?
TYLER
Can I call?
I skipped a step and called him instead; he answered on the first ring.
“She and Jeff haven’t called you?” was his greeting.
“No,” I said softly, and walked into the guest room to further prevent waking Gage. “What’s going on, Ty? I know we haven’t talked in months, but you know I don’t talk to them. Like, ever.”
“Cassi, sweetheart, my dad just called . . . their house caught fire. So bad it spread to the houses on each side.”
“Oh God! Ty, did it get to your parents’ house too?” There was only one house between mine and Ty’s; I prayed it didn’t get that far.
“No, no. The firefighters got it contained before it could. It didn’t do too much damage to the houses on either side, but, Cassi, your house is gone.”
A gasp escaped my throat, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why . . . other than shock that a fire could spread so quickly that a house that size would just be gone. Then again, there was a hell of a lot of liquor in that house.