Her face paled and she dropped her hands from my cheeks. "Even me?" She took a step back from me.
I closed my eyes. Once again, I'd stuck my foot in my mouth. Once again I'd forgotten that she didn't realize how important she was to me, that she was lumping herself in amongst the people I could barely even look at anymore. She was so above them all to me, that it was a little startling that she couldn't see that.
Opening my eyes, I gazed at her heartbroken face. "No, Sawyer. I...I didn't mean it like that."
I stepped up to her, wrapping my arms around her waist, drawing her in for a hug that I felt we both needed. She didn't resist me, but she didn't hug me back either. I swallowed back some awful tears, praying that my callus words and actions tonight hadn't permanently damaged us. So much for giving Sawyer a memorable experience, although, maybe I had succeeded on that point, just not in the way I'd originally intended.
Resting my head on her shoulder, I exhaled into the crook of her neck. "Honestly, Sawyer, you're my only reason to wake up."
Just as I felt her arms come up to my back, the laughing that had been going on at the far end of the hall was suddenly right next to us. I raised my head from Sawyer's body, wondering who was bugging us now. I felt my grip on her tighten when my eyes received their answer.
Josh. Josh had decided to disturb our heart wrenching moment.
Swiping a hand across my wet cheeks, I glared at him, not in the mood for any more tormentors tonight. I hadn't actually sustained eye contact with him in awhile and he seemed amused that I held his stare. From behind him, I heard Will chuckle. My glare switched to Will when I heard him seductively say, "Hey juvy. I like your dress." He eyed Sawyer up and down and I pulled her slightly behind me.
Sawyer didn't exactly need my protection though. From over my shoulder she told him to f**k off. His eyes on her turned mean and I put even more of my body in front of her.
"What do you want?" My eyes flicked between the two of them, but also took in the crowd gathering behind them, clearly expecting a showdown.
Josh crossed his arms over his chest and sneered at me. "Did you like the punch? We made it just for you."
I wasn't too surprised that my suspicions were correct over the punch bowl, so my expression didn't change any. My words took on a heated tone however, as I spoke loud enough for everyone in the hall to hear. "You drugged me and now you spiked the punch? You trying to get kicked out of here?"
Josh smirked, his dark eyes glancing behind him at the gathering masses. Will beside him shifted uneasily, glancing down at Josh and then the crowd, before looking back up to me. Josh took a step towards me and a hush went over the tittering crowd. I could hear a flush from the bathrooms in the distance it was so quiet. Keeping his voice low and cold, Josh said, "No, I'm not trying to get me kicked out."
Taking another step into me, his finger came up to poke my chest. I stood still, making myself not react to his goading. "But you need a little punishment, so, yeah, I had you drugged by poor, stupid Randy...and you can't do anything about it, because no one here believes a God damn thing you say." He was whispering heatedly, right in my face. I could see the crowd behind him bunch their brows, trying to catch a few words, but they weren't. His confession was only being heard by me, and I already knew it.
I roughly pushed him away from me, my control momentarily slipping. His size was nothing compared to mine, so I ended up shoving him back into Will. The crowd made a 'here we go' noise as Will helped right him. Then Will took a step forward, like he was gonna wail on me in Josh's place, but Josh held him back with a hand on his chest. Will was more my size and a fight between us would be more evenly matched strength-wise, but he seemed to be letting Josh take the lead on this fight. Maybe he understood that this was something Josh and I needed to work out. Or maybe he just had a follower mentality and wasn't up to taking the initiative. Yet another reason he sucked as quarterback.
Sawyer behind me was not a follower however, and tried to sneak around me to put her own two cents in. I twisted slightly to put my hands on her shoulders, stopping her. Josh glared over at her, his eyes narrowing at the evident bond between us. One thing that always seemed to flare Josh's temper was Sawyer and I, like he wanted me wallowing in darkness, struggling to hold it together each day, and any glimpse of happiness that I showed was disdainful to him.
Keeping his hard eyes on Sawyer, Josh sneered, "Even your girlfriend thinks you're a drunk." His tone inflected harshly on the word girlfriend and he almost looked like he wanted to spit at her feet. I think he would have, if we were outside. Sawyer bristled in my arms and I held her still, wondering how to get us out of this without fists flying. Where'd all the chaperones go anyway?
Josh held his hand out and stared at it, like he was reading a letter. "You were...impaired. I understand." He looked up at me, his face gloating. He was talking loud enough for everyone to hear now and a buzz went through the crowd.
I looked back at Sawyer as his words triggered a memory. He was miming reading a letter and he was implicating my girlfriend, which the school assumed Sawyer was. Recognition flared in Sawyer's face at the same time it did in mine. Sawyer had written that in the note we'd passed back in forth in English, the day after our "incident" on the couch. She hadn't meant it like Josh thought she did, but it sounded bad, really bad.
He'd seen that? Where had he seen that? Didn't Sawyer have that note? I searched her face while she furrowed her brow and stared out over the hall, her eyes flicking back and forth like she was trying to remember what had happened to that incriminating evidence.
Anger flashed through me at the thought of Josh's eyes on that intimate conversation, which probably meant a good chunk of the school had read it too. Sawyer looked back at me, color flushing her cheeks, and I knew she'd just realized that too. I tried to remember what that note had said, but all I could remember was what we were talking about - our moment of near-sex. I cringed at that sacred moment flying around the school.
My self-imposed rule of not ever engaging Josh again, vanished in my anger and embarrassment. But more than that, it vanished because I knew how much Sawyer would be hurt be the idea of those words swirling out of control. I didn't want Sawyer hurt or harassed by Josh. I'd do anything to prevent that.
Releasing Sawyer, I walked up to Josh and shoved his chest again. He was more prepared for that and shoved me back. The crowd behind him buzzed with energy and tightened ranks, effectively cutting off Sawyer's and my escape to the gym. Irritated at the entire evening I yelled, "I wasn't drinking, Josh!"
Everyone in that hallway knew exactly what I was talking about. Everyone knew I was talking about the night of the crash. The room silenced, expecting an answer to the questions I always dodged. Aside from Josh and me scuttling back and forth, you could have heard a pin drop.
"Oh, come on, Luc - no one buys that!" Josh shoved me again, pushing me into Sawyer. She stumbled and I twisted to prevent her from falling. I turned my head back to Josh when he added, "There's a witness anyway, Luc. Someone saw you slamming back beers, so you can stop acting like such a f**king innocent!"
A buzz of noise went through the crowd and Will beside Josh crossed his arms over his chest and met Josh's eye, nodding. Several other heads were nodding too. Not all, some faces looked surprised, but the majority were not startled by Josh's proclamation. This was apparently something most of the student body had already accepted about that night. I was surprised by it, as I'd yet to hear it.
My face felt like all the blood had rushed from it as I stepped away from Sawyer and up to Josh. He ran a hand through his dark hair but didn't back away.
"What...who?" Even before I said it, I knew. Who else in this school would spread lies and gossip about me, all in the hopes of bringing me down a peg? Who else, but that jealous little bitch. My face twisted into a sneer as I answered my own question. "Brittany."
Josh smirked. "Do you remember seeing her there now?"
I ran both hands through my hair and grunted in frustration. I heard Sawyer say something behind me, something about Brittany being a cunt, but my focus was all on Josh and that damn smirking smile on his face. "God, Josh! She's lying! You know she's a liar. She's always made up crap about me, trying to start shit. She wasn't there! She's mad at me for ignoring her or something. She was jealous of Lil, because I wouldn't touch her anymore!" I knew I was ranting as I practically yelled at Josh, the entire crowd listening intently, but I couldn't hold it back anymore. "She wasn't f**king there! No one from school was there!"
Josh stepped up to me, his face as dark as the black on black outfit he was wearing. He poked a finger in my chest again. "How convenient for you."
I ran my hand through my hair, ruining any semblance of order, and gestured at my chest that he seemed to love poking. "Damn it, Josh, you know me." I frantically patted myself as I shook my head. "Do I drink? Have I ever been a drunk?"
He shoved me back, his hands clenching like he wanted to do more. "That night - yes! There was beer spilled all over you, Luc! My cousin was at the hospital - he says you reeked of it!"
"It was open in the car, Josh, but it was Darren's, not mine." I threw my hands up in exasperation and felt Sawyer's come up to rest on my shoulder, trying to calm me down. It worked a little bit and in a quieter voice I said, "Why...why do believe the rumor and not me?"
Josh stepped right into my face, his eyes wild with fury and hatred. I barely even recognized the kid I used to know. Seething, he screeched, "Because you got away with it! You got away with killing them all! You didn't even get so much as a fine for the open beer can! You got away scot-free and everyone knows why!"
Feeling tears sting my eyes, both from anger and sadness, I yelled back, "What the hell are you talking about?" Sawyer's hand tightened on my shoulder and I heard her say something about leaving, but Josh was in my face and that's all I could focus on.
Not backing up an inch, he yelled back, "Your mom, Luc! You got away with it because your mom is f**king the sheriff! He covered for you, fixed your test at the hospital - all for his whore!"
That was when I saw red. That was when I didn't care about getting kicked out of this school. That was when I didn't care that Sawyer was standing right behind me or that Will was on the other side of Josh, looking ready to assist if needed, or that a large mass of witnesses was behind them. That was when I didn't care that I'd made myself a promise to never let Josh get the better of me.
That was when Josh got the better of me.
My fist came around and solidly connected with his jaw. I had size and strength behind me, and his scrawny frame was no match. His head jerked around with the hit and he collapsed to the floor. My hand throbbed from the connection but I ignored it, keeping a tight fist for when he stood back up, for when we finally finished this. I stood over him, breathing heavy, as pure venom poured through my veins.
"Fuck you!"
He looked up at me, slightly dazed but grinning broadly, a trail of blood dripping from a cut across his bottom lip. He'd wanted a fight with me for awhile now and he was finally gonna get one. He was small, but he was fast. He sprinted back to his feet and socked me in the gut before I could block it. The crowd behind us started chanting for a fight and I knew this was gonna end with me being evicted from this school forever.